Young Writers Society

Sugoi- means awesome in Japanese.( I think you already know that) That is some great piece of art! Yeah, it is an art.... You write great lyrics. The intro gives the reader a touch which just seizes him to read the rest of the lyric. I really loved the intro. The chorus is great, too. I just wanna read it over and over again. The second verse is very realistic. The ending is great also.

But there is something that I didn't quite get.

"She knows you're there, she knows you're wrong
She misses home, it's been so long
Since she felt safe"

Here, I think that the first line doesn't quite match with the next two lines. I mean, these three lines sound to me 'unflowing' or 'not working'. But all other words in other lines just seem to mix with each other so well and create such a great flow that I get hypnotized. But, this one didn't really catch this flow or so I think.

Well, since this is your work, you know better how your words and lines should flow. Overall, I really enjoyed the song.

Hello there Arkhaion!

Honestly, I really liked the lyrics and the meaning behind them. It's really inspirational and I like that anyone can relate to it because who hasn't felt like this at some point right? (Aside from the fame part). One thing that bothered me about this piece is the format. I don't like how there are two lines together in the same sentence but only separated with a comma. I hope I'm meaning sense. For example: '[You're never afraid to tear her down,
But she'll hold fast, she'll stand her ground
She's capable
She's unbreakable

You think you're right, you know she's wrong,
But she don't care, she'll still stand strong
Unshakable
She's unbreakable] '

I would liked it to be written like this:
'You're never afraid to tear her down,
But she'll hold fast,
she'll stand her ground
She's capable
She's unbreakable

You think you're right,
you know she's wrong,
But she don't care,
she'll still stand strong
Unshakable
She's unbreakable'

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Other than that, it was very well written and i hope you keep writing more. Have a nice night. -IceWinifredd

Hey there!

I have never tried my hand at writing lyrics -- I always figured it was best left to people who "knew" music -- but the ease with which this piece flows makes it seem as though it were the easiest thing in the world to do. You write with a very natural rhythm that makes this piece a pleasure to read! It is vividly authentic: you possess a talent for this craft and it definitely shows!

The ease of your writing enables me to imagine all sorts of lyrical melodies, but I wish that I could hear this sung outright as you imagine it! I have no doubt that your idea of what it would sound like would far surpass anything I could conjure up! And you accomplished the telling and expression of a story so well that it would be interesting to hear how you believed this piece would flow. I'd trust your judgement. This is written with such honest confidence, music could only enhance these words further.

That said, these lyrics stand perfectly alone. I don't have anything to say except my sincere congratulations on having created something so nice.

Great job!

Coming here all the way from the lovely team you're captain of. Decided to stop by and show my respects. This is one lovely piece, and I read it like a song by an unknown artist. I actually with this was a song though. It seems like she's been through some breakable things. (See what I did there.)
LOve, loVE, LOVE, love this.
~Sharrae out, tottles

Sup Ark, it's Merguls here with a review.

Might I say what a great song. I imagined it in a sort of Shawn Mendes Voice. I can define they imagine this on the radio along with all the other songs. You sound like a professional song writer. I have always seen other people write songs but yours is by far the best, not even kidding.

When I read lyrics that rhyme a lot, I usually rap them out in my head. Yours I sang. Out loud. Great job.

Hey, Arkhaion! Wise here.

Wow. I really loved this. The rhymes sounded beautiful and unforced, the words all made sense and the meaning was easy to understand. This song was so inspiring to me and I could imagine the tune to it. You did really good on this amazing work, Ark. Good job and keep writing!

-wisegirl22

You're a lyrical genius. This was perfect. <3