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140,643 Literary Works • 673,577 Reviews
Wow, If could, I would get someone to make this...
I really could enjoy this as a rap, dub step, rock or pop, think the lyrics kind of fit rock the most. It wouldn't be something I would listen to on a daily bases but I still love this! I think if you ever start a band this should be one of the songs you do make. I have no nitpicks and I think everything is perfect the way it is, I wouldn't change a bit. I hope to see more lyrics and more from you!
P.S: EARNED A FOLLOWER
Wow! amazing poetry, I really adored it!
) to continue the song in their head instead of gasping and then falling asleep due to asphyxiation.
Hi, I'm kam, and I'm gonna write a review for ya!
Okay, so lemme begin with just one little thing I notice. You don't have any periods and I know its a song but maybe put periods some places to signify the end of a sentence/ statement. Let the reader take a breather(Rhyme!
Now, the very poem itself is amazing. I like how you describe everything, from the first stanza to the last. "Eating dreams and drinking rust" is really cool, and I love the 2nd stanza, describing locking a heart away only to realize that the life is thrown away due to liquor(at least I hope that's whats going on and I'm not a complete dummy xD)
I like the chorus of "Listen, to the screaming of your veins..." because it is an amazing way of describing addiction and peoples attitude to it!
Finally, the last couple stanzas describing the fire and the ash as if it is snow and how the heat is burning up everything, destroying sound and thoughts. Burning up the thing destroying her/him and her/his chance. I love it!
The whole thing just captured my heart and I really love the entire poem/song thing. Keep writing cause this is amazing!
This is really good I like it!!
Can you pls recite this at my funeral
Of course <3
I love this.
Danke~
I like it, I wish I heard a recording, I always felt like someone singing it made you feel the words more and sense more. It seems to have a sad and regretful nature to the lyrics, maybe a girl involved "I won't see you in my dreams."
Over all I did enjoy the lyrics, brought many things to my mind: sadness, alcohol, regret, maybe even lost love that many can relate to.
My favorite part of the lyrics had to be the last couple of lines:
"Listen
To the sirens and the screams
I'll fight it
I won't see you in my dreams
But the fire's so sweet,
The ash and the heat
I threw my chance away"
Thank you very much for your review!