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Young Writers Society


12+

Frost Lark News 9/26/16

by sheysse


Frost Lark News                                                9/26/16

"ELECTION" by Spencer Sharp

The election rages on, and it is living nightmares in Frost Lark. Violence everywhere, driven by the personal opinions of people to foolish to realize that in the grand scheme of existence, this day will make no difference. Our town has reached a stalemate... Supporters of Sarah Lynn fighting supporters of Gregory Fitzgerald. If this does not end soon, I believe that we will likely face a complete collapse in this town. And so, this is a message for our home. Stop. Give up. Voting is only a moment of your life, but suspended in that moment, you are too short sighted to realize it. Don't bring total destruction to our town.

"JOURNAL ENTRIES OF WARFARE" by Skyla Holt

Entry One: I am out on the battlefield, serving my town. For those of you still hiding in your basement and somehow reading the newspapers, it is complete war out on the streets. Violence everywhere, taken to the extreme. For instance, that man is now holding up a gun. And, oh! He's firing at m-

Entry Six: Three days in the hospital for a gun shot to the abdomen has taught me that if a man points a gun at you, run. Luckily, our genetically modified bodies can't actually be permanently injured by a bullet, but... Uh... Just run.

Entry Twenty Seven: This war is tiring. Mostly because I was told to write thirty three entries over the span of five days, three of which I spent in a hospital bed. I have been writing almost non-stop, and when I'm not, I'm fighting.

Entry Twenty Nine: I have been informed that the papers will only be using about five of my entries. Why do I need to write the others, then?!

Entry Thirty Two: Total casualties have reached seven. And injured numbers are even larger, at about four. I think that's larger... It is, right? I never excelled at Math, or for that matter any school classes. I was always the worst at Agricultural Combat Practice. Yet, here I am, on the battlefield. God, I hate my job sometimes.

"HOW TO CARE FOR YOUR PRISONER" by Erick Harvey

As you may know   As you should know, I care for the prisoners in the printing facility   I definitely don't care for any prisoners at the printing facility, since we have none, and I am going to give you a few tips on keeping your very own prisoner! For one, make sure they have food and water. A dead prisoner can't be used for any torture! Also, keep it trapped in a small space. For some reason, prisoners have a tendency to attempt escape. I know! Crazy, right? Lastly, don't let the janitors clean your prisoner's enclosed fixture. We all know what happened when a janitor was let loose in the Frost Lark High School last may!

"ELECTION" (continued) by Spencer Sharp

Volunteer soldiers have broken into my writing closet! I am fighting with two hands while writing with the third (tutorial on my YouTube channel), but things are looking bleak for me. Oh! Ginger Murray has just walked in. Uh, hi. A, um, little assistance would be nice... What? Your asking why I'm documenting this entire conversation from my perspective. Good question. I have no answer... Still fighting though. How about we ask questions later and focus on the crazy lunatics overrunning my office? Yes, of course I work in my closet. Where else would I work?

Survey

Who are you going to vote for?

a) Gregory Fitzgerald

b) Sarah Lynn

c) We need more options

d) This is a space filler

e) We always have an “e” option

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

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Ha. You actually tried to figure out what that meant. What a joke.

-Apple Computer

ADVERTISEMENT SPACE

Mcdonalds: Canada runs on Subway.

"THE FESTIVAL OF THE FLICKERING LIGHTS" by Markus Gerald

At the time of this print's release, The Festival of the Flickering Lights has begun. This is why we interrupted our usual schedule of Sunday prints for this Monday print. For the limited number of outsiders this town has, we will explain that The Festival of the Flickering Lights is an eight day holiday. On the first night, we power eight cheap LED lights. Then every night including the first night, we drop one on the floor and watch it break. It is called what it is called because usually the LEDs sold around this time are very inexpensive and often flicker rather than produce a steady light. The history of this holiday is that a higher up member of a holy worshiping place had bad luck during eight days three hundred years ago. Every day for those eight days he dropped a candle. However, candles are kind of pricey in the tundra, so we use LEDs.


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61 Reviews


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Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:05 pm
Feltrix says...



...of people toO foolish...
with to o's
if you're wondering, I did that on purpose.




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Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:28 am
Carlito wrote a review...



Hello hello! Happy review day! :D I apologize I haven't read the previous installments of this work, but I'm here to take this part out of the green room!

Overall, I think this is a very interesting and creative way to tell a story. I've seen stories use newspaper articles or other mediums to help tell the story, but not as the main method of telling the story. So that's cool! I also noticed in the comments that you're asking readers to vote because it'll change the outcome of the story (btw Imma vote for the lady because girl power even though I know nothing about her :p). I love that. What a fun way to write the story and get your readers involved!

Truth be told, when I first started reading this chapter I thought you were making a commentary on the current political season in the States. (Which maybe you are...) It feels like a more extreme (although not very far fetched) version of what's actually going on. #scared

Moving on. I thought you did a nice job of showing quite a bit with such simple and concise prose. Each little article added bits of additional information, and I liked that you only give us bits at a time and we have to piece things together a little (although not so much that it's confusing or hard to synthesize) and each of the pieces work together to give us a cohesive whole of what exactly is happening in this town.

With this format, I'm not sure if there are recurring characters or how well you will be able to develop the characters. Obviously I can't talk very much about plot or character arc development because I'm coming in late and reading an isolated segment. Just something I thought of as I was reading for you to think about. Even though this story is different and told in a different manner, it's still a story. The characters should grow and change just like they would in a more standard style. And for all I know you have great character arcs and you've already thought a lot about their development, but I wanted to mention it just in case anyway :)

"ELECTION" by Spencer Sharp

The election rages on, and it is living nightmares in Frost Lark. Violence everywhere, driven by the personal opinions of people to foolish to realize that in the grand scheme of existence, this day will make no difference. Our town has reached a stalemate... Supporters of Sarah Lynn fighting supporters of Gregory Fitzgerald. If this does not end soon, I believe that we will likely face a complete collapse in this town. And so, this is a message for our home. Stop. Give up. Voting is only a moment of your life, but suspended in that moment, you are too short sighted to realize it. Don't bring total destruction to our town.

If this is a newspaper article, to me it reads a bit informal. Maybe include what type of article this is or where this is shown in the paper. An editorial? Front page news? A little article in a back section very few people read? I also think you could get more descriptive of the "violence everywhere" and "fighting". And what is the evidence that it's driven by these personal opinions? What is the evidence that the town will collapse soon? Where is Spencer coming from with those opinions?

"JOURNAL ENTRIES OF WARFARE" by Skyla Holt

Skyla's journal entries were interesting to me, yet confusing. Interesting because I think seeing that first hand account of what's going on in this large fight is super interesting. Confusing because I thought it could be developed a bit more.
Like the first entry. I liked the drama of her getting shot mid entry, but is she really writing this as she's experiencing it so she really does get shot mid entry? Maybe she is. But I know many reporters take notes and then actually write up what they want to say later.
I liked Entry Six because of the little world details you were able to casually throw in - the genetically modified bodies.
Then 27 - who asked her to write these entries? Why so many so quickly? Where is she now, back on the streets? Still recovering? Fighting how? Fighting who? I would like to see more of exactly what she is doing. We have the privilege of having this first hand view and I want to see what's going on.
29 - I'm not sure this one is needed. I wouldn't question why we aren't reading every single entry in this paper. I don't think it needs to be explained why we aren't reading all of them unless it's an important plot point, and if it's an important plot thing then explain why not all of them are being used a bit more.

"HOW TO CARE FOR YOUR PRISONER" by Erick Harvey

I liked the satirical feel of this entry. Again, it says a lot and shows a lot without there actually being a lot of words there.

"ELECTION" (continued) by Spencer Sharp

I find it a bit odd that he's writing as he's being attacked. Third hand? Interesting little world detail there! I like that we get to see some of this conversation through what he's writing, but I would like to see more of what's actually happening to him too. One trap I don't want you to fall into with this story because of the way you're telling it is that you still show us what's happening instead of telling us. That might be tricky, but I still want to see what's going on like I would if this were written in a more traditional style.

Volunteer soldiers have broken into my writing closet! I am fighting with two hands while writing with the third (tutorial on my YouTube channel), but things are looking bleak for me. Oh! Ginger Murray has just walked in. Uh, hi. A, um, little assistance would be nice... What? Your asking why I'm documenting this entire conversation from my perspective. Good question. I have no answer... Still fighting though. How about we ask questions later and focus on the crazy lunatics overrunning my office? Yes, of course I work in my closet. Where else would I work?

"THE FESTIVAL OF THE FLICKERING LIGHTS" by Markus Gerald

This last little article confused me a bit because I didn't really understand how it fits in with the rest of the articles in this part. The festival itself reminds me of Hanukkah which is fine, but I thought it was a bit odd that they're talking about this festival when it seems there's a full fledged war going on. Are they still going on with the festival despite everything else?

Overall, I think this is a very inventive and creative piece. I'm curious to see where you're going to take this and how you're going to continue to develop the plot and characters (especially since reader input is going to effect how the story goes!). I thought the writing itself was pretty strong, so I didn't want to get too bogged down with little nit-picky things. Please let me know if you have any questions or if you would like feedback about something I didn't already mention! :D




sheysse says...


Thanks for the review! And your vote... Of course, the votes were already tallied, and Gregory won. If you want, you can keep reading to find out. I'm glad you enjoyed the story! If you want, I can add you to a list so you get notified when I upload them... I understand if not, because it's pretty often that you'll get notified which is annoying. Anyway, thanks for the review and happy review day!



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Tue Sep 27, 2016 7:19 pm



Why not? I vote for myself Gregory Fitzgerald.
Let the mayhem ensue. :twisted:




sheysse says...


Thank you. Your vote has been tallied. Oh, and expect lotsa mayhem.



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Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:30 pm
StupidSoup says...



You thought you would fool me!!

hfpq03 fp948 498yf98y 3[9p8yf9 f493yr398 fh9p8h9-38yh fh-82390hrf-9 f98y4 fy9-3h f f fh89hf fh-98f ___ ch9hf c we09u d 390ud 0[ 8yf= hf 908hh98h 98h-8fh8hw09q8hwv.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q ... ELlBS9FNdw

I KNOW WHAT YOUR PLANNING!




sheysse says...


... I wasn't planning anything... It was random. XD



StupidSoup says...


YOU CAN'T FOOL ME!!!!



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Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:56 pm
Dracula wrote a review...



So I thought I had to follow this up and see what the fuss is about. :) I'm glad I did. Now to all the random thoughts that entered my head as I read...

Voting is only a moment of your life,
I reckon 'one moment' would be so much more effective than just 'a moment'.

For those of you still hiding in your basement and somehow reading the newspapers, it is complete war out on the streets.
This is the humour that I absolutely love in your News series. Keep it coming.

Luckily, our genetically modified bullets can't actually be permanently injured by a bullet, but... Uh... Just run.
I think you mean 'our genetically modified bodies'.

In the survey, I'm picking E. How could I not? It's your own fault, Sheyren, you make it too tempting. :P

So a lot of bad stuff has come to pass since the last edition, but the town is still having the festival! Goodness, they have their priorities right. Thanks for tagging me.




sheysse says...


Thanks for the review! If you enjoyed it, please leave a like. It helps a lot!



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Mon Sep 26, 2016 6:59 pm
sheysse says...



The print is up! I just want to mention that I in no way intend to insult any religion or religious beliefs or religious holidays.

If you still haven't voted, do so either in this comment section, or message me. Your vote will make a difference in the story!





On some days, my will to write disappears faster than a donut at a police station.
— Arcticus