Secretary Sonja Wallace's notes of the fourth council meeting since the Travellers returned to Frost Lark, dated February 19th, 2017.
Council Members:
Mayor Clayton: The meeting has begun.
Primary Council Member Zu: I vote to attack the Travellers head on, before they attack us.
Co-Mayor Reeds: Let's not get ahead
of ourselves... The only thing they've done to us is bring the
hurricane, and we can't even confirm that was their doing.
Council Member Green: I don't think its worth the risk... We don't know their military power.
Council Member Smith: They live on a steam ship! I doubt they even have a military.
Mayor Clayton: No, its not worth the risk. I believe we should continue to seek negotiations with them.
Primary Council Member Zu: They won't even talk to us!
Council Member Holt: There is another option.
Temporary Council Member Harvey: No, Skyla. Its too risky.
Council Member Holt: But their letter confirmed that they would listen to discussion if I was the one discussing! Its our only option at this point!
Mayor Clayton: Don't forget what happened last time you went on their ship.
Council Member Holt: I am well aware the risk.
Co-Mayor Reeds: I agree with Skyla. We're almost out of options, and this is our last one.
Primary Council Member Zu: I believe we should evacuate town... Surely Cloud Ice will help? This concerns them as much as us.
Secretary Wallace: They've already sent us a message that they'd lend a hand should we need it.
Mayor Clayton: I'll be meeting with Cloud Ice's mayor tomorrow. We'll send Skyla to negotiate on the date they specified, next Sunday. Any objections? No? Good. The meeting is adjourned.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hello! Feltrix here for a review, which I'm sure you can figure out from the bold writing above. Sorry this is so brief.
This seems awfully brief for a council meeting, not that I have much experience in the matter. Still, there could be more discussion on a course of action, maybe even discussions on other matters. Another thing that could add comedic value is some twisted version of pointless political ceremony, mention to Binvoclar Lizard overlords or something equally insane.
"The only thing they've done to us is bring the hurricane..." They ONLY brought a hurricane. Oh, well in that case, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.
"I vote to attack the Travellers head on, before they attack us." There could actually be a vote on a course of action. They kinda skipped that part, which seems a bit tyrannical.
"They've already sent us a message that they'd lend a hand should we need it." Shouldn't everyone have known this before hand?
That's all, and I fully expect an edition of the Frost Lark News to be published, regardless of the fact that it's review day. I rely on this to know what's going on in the world.
Thanks for the review! Sadly, I will not be posting a Frost Lark News this weekend because by the end of Review Day, it's too late to upload. Look for it next week, though!
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
*Read in Darth Vader voice
Hey, crobbins here for a quick review!
So, I'm not caught up on your previous works (my bad) so I can't really speak about the plot development. My apologies!
So, I like the idea behind this. The idea of a whole story being through notes from a meeting is a great spin on a non-traditional storytelling method! I think the fact that the notes put who was speaking in bold first helped the reader follow the storyline nicely, and helped them not be confused.
I also like that you put the members of the council first in the notes. It helped the reader to be able to look at exactly who was involved in the meeting before actually seeing the contents. It helped me, personally, stay oriented while reading it.
The only spelling/grammar issue I found was it the word "it's." Just remember to check on those!
Overall, great job! I'm a huge fan of the formatting you used (fangirls). I'd love to read more of your work!
-crobbins
Thanks for the review! Glad you enjoyed!
This series puts a spin on story-telling ways, with most of it being told through a newspaper. Hope you consider reading more!
What is next!!!!!??????? I must know!!!!!!! *Waits impatiently.*
Council Meeting 2/19/17 Dracula's Notes
Since these are someone's notes, I guess it doesn't really matter. It just looks like an error when it's all typed out nicely and not messily scribbled on some lined paper.
I appreciate that you made the council members list. It was good to have a list of all the characters in Frost Lark's current council. If you turned this series into a book (and it would be a scrap-booky sort of book) this would be a supplementary page to serve as a reminder of where the story's at and who's in it.
I don't think its worth the risk... We don't know their military power.
You missed the punctuation in it's. This happens again in Mayor Clayton's bit. And Harvey's. I'm seeing a pattern.
I thought this meeting was a little short (in my mind it went for less than three minutes) but it does provide a bridge between plots. Now we know that Cloud Ice is returning to the story and they're going to join forces against a common evil.
As to the end, I would've loved a sarcastic comment from Sonja Wallace, as this all seemed a little too serious for a Frost Lark installment. But maybe Sonja is just a very serious person. XD
Thank you for the review! It was just continuous typosm. XD
By the way, I want to thank you for all the reviews you've given on the chapters... I can always rely on you, so thank you so much.
You're very welcome.