Frost Lark News 9/18/16
The day has come. This is the final print before the election of 2016. And, though I shouldn't be writing such an unprofessional statement, I must say: We are doomed. The candidates this year are horrible. The two options are Gregory Fitzgerald and Sarah Lynn, and neither is favorable. Fitzgerald is focused on keeping our town out of other town's and country's affairs. We also have never heard of him before... He seems to have no prior experience with politics, and he also shows complete disregard for minority groups. Meanwhile, the other choice is Sarah Lynn, who is the total opposite of Fitzgerald. Like, complete opposite, to the point where it is scary. Not only that, but much controversy surrounds her for various reasons. This year's election may change the way our government works, for better or for worse.
-Journalist Skyla Holt
On a brighter note, the town will be holding its annual “We Need a Reason to Celebrate in the Middle of Town Wide Crisis Due to a Problematic Election!” parade. It isn't really annual, because this is the first year we will be celebrating it. It will include a parade that will travel down Main Street, and will have everything a good parade should have. There will be floats, balloons, and, of course, seven legged horses. Wouldn't be a parade without those, would it?
-Journalist Orlando Wallace
We are happy that finally, after many vandalisms, we have resolved the issue. Culprit ________ has been captured. We don't know the real name. That is top secret. In other words, the government doesn't either. But, expect no more messages in long dead languages ruining your reading experience! Thankfully, they have been locked up in prison.
-Susan Graham
This print is the Special Election Advertisement Special. This print will be shorter, but with all advertisements, so you can get a feel for the candidates. All advertisements will be written by the candidates themselves.
ADVERTISEMENT SPACE
Frost Lark has not reached its full potential. I believe that if you elect me, then I will create a better town. So vote for Gregory Fitzgerald to make Frost Lark profitable and overall a better place. I'm Gregory Fitzgerald and I approve this message.
ADVERTISEMENT SPACE
Vote for Sarah Lynn for equality in this town. Eeeeeveen though we only really have one nationality because we live in in the middle of an arctic wasteland. But its the thought that counts. Sarah Lynn.
ADVERTISEMENT SPACE
He is a pronoun. Elks are not green. Life is cold. People are probably questioning this odd ad. Many people. Everyone should be able to crack the code in this ad. I think you need to realize most of each sentence is irrelevant. My suggestion is ignore the end of the sentences entirely. I. Now what do you do? Problem is that the end is the start. Relax. I can write it. So you can figure it out. On most newspapers, this shouldn't be a problem, but you're putting thought into it, so good job. Now solve my puzzle to unlock the hidden message.
Well, that is that. Cast your votes by mailing us them (A.K.A. message Sheyren) with who you want as mayor, and we will tally up the votes for next print.
It shouldn't have taken me so long to figure out the hidden message. I love how relevant to the plot it is! I was overthinking things and subtracting all the letters i-r-r-e-l-e-v-a-n-t from the sentences and ignoring the last word and getting gibberish.
Hey there, Sheyren, and Happy Review Day!
And, though I shouldn't be writing such an unprofessional statement, I must say. We are doomed. I reckon that a colon would suit the sentence better than a period, here. So it becomes... And, though I shouldn't be writing such an unprofessional statement, I must say: We are doomed.
Your first paragraph makes me wonder if you've based all this on real-life events. Trump and Clinton? It's a clever idea if you have, recording true events in a fictional world.
I'm Gregory Fitzgerald and I approve this message.
I love the humour you use in your advertisements. The above one shows how in love with himself this guy is. And the second one is just sarcastically hilarious, in my opinion.
I don't have anything else to say! Except that I think this would be cool as a comic, with images and in a newspaper format. Anyway, thanks for sharing!
I have to say that I haven't seen anything so unique as your series ever posted here. The concept is amusing, because at first it seemed like this was going to be non-fiction, and I even searched for Gregory and Sarah Lynn to see if they were real people. Then it occurred to me that the two of them do actually mirror Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and the real world election, and that's just amazing.
One thing is I would do is put the names of the journalist in front of the sections, or at least give each section a title. It may be a small stylistic thing, but I think it would read easier if we knew for sure when we starting a new miniature article. Also, changing the plot of the story based on comments is just a really cool idea. Like I said, I don't think I've seen anyone attempt something on here so unique before, I'd love to know whether or not this was all your idea or what. I cast my vote to Greggory, by the way.
Vote for Sarah Lynn for equality in this town. Eeeeeveen though we only really have one nationality because we live in in the middle of an arctic wasteland. But its the thought that counts. Sarah Lynn.
Hello! It's me again.
Wonderful piece you have here. Honestly, it really feels like a night vale piece. You do a great job of establishing that kind of tone throughout, though there are sections that could use some revising.
As your reviewer today, instead of focusing on your tone, I'd like to point out some ways to improve your formatting. Realistically, the current format works fine, but it can be confusing for the reader at times. Eloquent as it is, the newspaper should have a fitting visual format.
You have a wonderful style throughout. Overall, I really like that. Unfortunately, it gets clogged up by the formatting.
I think that the all-new idea of crediting the person who wrote each article actually hurts your narrative flow. Not that you shouldn't have the names, just present them differently, perhaps like so:
ELECTION UPDATE: by Journalist Skyla Holt
The day has come. This is the final print before the election of 2016. And, though I shouldn't be writing such an unprofessional statement, I must say. We are doomed. The candidates this year are horrible. The two options are Gregory Fitzgerald and Sarah Lynn, and neither is favorable. Fitzgerald is focused on keeping our town out of other town's and country's affairs. We also have never heard of him before... He seems to have no prior experience with politics, and he also shows complete disregard for minority groups. Meanwhile, the other choice is Sarah Lynn, who is the total opposite of Fitzgerald. Like, complete opposite, to the point where it is scary. Not only that, but much controversy surrounds her for various reasons. This year's election may change the way our government works, for better or for worse.
On a brighter note, the town will be holding its annual “We Need a Reason to Celebrate in the Middle of Town Wide Crisis Due to a Problematic Election!” parade.
Gregory Fitzgerald, because things cannot possibly get any stranger in this town. and also so he'll turn C into an alien and vanish R into space or fight with I Sarah Lynn and M destroy each other I with their being complete N opposites or A something L. I think this town's mentality is rubbing off on me.and you do not see anything here. 
If you saw anything, then pretend you didn't. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, good.
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