October Twelfth: I completely forgot today was prison clean up.
Every six months, the janitors are released from their containment units and allowed to sweep the floors and dust the corners of the prison. All doors immediately lock to prevent them from escaping. So the cell had shut, trapping us.
After explaining it to Skyla and Orlando, the girl beckoned to seperate parts of the cell. “Since they won't unlock until tomorrow, you can each sleep in your own corner.”
“Who are you, anyway? And, where's Sarah Lynn?” Skyla interrogated.
The girl smiled. “I am Sarah Lynn. I'm also the french girl who moved to this town. And I'm the person responsible for vandalizing your prints about two months ago. You citizens often vote for anyone, so long as they say some stuff that you like. You never put forth much thought into their background, except for claims used to ruin them, like tax evasion and murder, to name a few. I, knowing that Gregory would ruin our town and knowing he'd run for mayor, chose to take advantage of this. I wanted you to elect me, not so I'd be mayor, but so he wouldn't. I've been guiding you, leaving messages in the prints, attempting to influence you. It didn't work, apparently.”
Orlando tilted his head. “So, a middle school ran for mayor in order to keep a corrupt candidate out of office, but ultimately got arrested in the process?”
She nodded.
“Someone needs to write a novel about that,” I said before scribbling a note to myself in the margin.
We heard a sudden thump that dented the cell door. There was a slithering sound from outside, and a hissing. “The janitors!” Sarah (Should I call her that?) exclaimed. “quick! Go to sleep, and they won't sense us anymore! Hurry!”
Without another word, she jumped onto her cot and went to sleep. Confused, we all found a part of the cell to lay on and went to sleep.
October Thirteenth: We awoke, and the cell door was unlocked. Surprisingly, Sarah was awake, but hadn't escaped. She just sat at her table, waiting for us to say something.
“Your still here,” Skyla remarked.
“I am.”
Orlando sighed and said “You want us to do something, don't you? What is it?”
“Take me to the next town over. I need to stop Gregory. I will kill him myself.”
I flinched at this idea. “Kill him?!”
“He wants to go to war with Cloud Ice. People will die, all so he can annex Frost Lark. I am going to put a stop to his tyranny.”
“You'll be put to death. That's
first class murder.”
She took a deep breath and held her
eyelids shut for a few seconds, before opening them again. “I know.
I'm fully prepared to die, if I can save even a few lives. I will
find a way to go if you say no, but I need you to help me. After his
murder, mayhem will ensue, and you know it. Evacuate the town. Bring
the Frost Lark citizens back here. By then, I'll let the blizzard
pass. I won't sell you out as allies. Please.”
Skyla and Orlando looked at me and each other. We all nodded.
October Seventeenth: We finally arrived at Cloud Ice (We had to go on foot). Mayhem had already broken out. Cloud Ice citizens getting into arguments with Frost Lark citizens. Arguments elevating into fights. I felt dizzy, scared for everyone's life. “Where's the mayor?”
Sarah looked around. She pointed to what looked like a battle encampment in the town square. “There.” Guards were posted around a main tent, as though war was about to break out.
Skyla looked disgusted. “Suddenly I don't think Cloud Ice OFFERED us hospitality.”
“Plan?” Orlando asked.
“Erick, Frost Lark knows you, since
you run the prison. Order a retreat. I'm sure they'll listen to you.
Orlando, Skyla, offer medical aid to anyone who needs it, including
Cloud Ice citizens.”
“We're coming with you!” Skyla
exclaimed, and Orlando and I nodded in agreement.
But Sarah shook her head. “By law,
that'll make you an accomplice. You can't have anything to do with
this.”
We all knew this was true, though we didn't want to
admit it.
“I'm going to the camp,” She pulled out a knife, “And then I'm gonna be on the news. Who knows? Maybe I'll get an obituary in Frost Lark News.” She grinned. “I can get those guards. Then I'll get Gregory. You have to go back to Frost Lark. I purposely chose you three, because you have all the qualities needed. Orlando, become the mayor. Fix our town. Have Erick be your co-mayor. Recreate Frost Lark News. Skyla, write the newspaper. Ensure the public is informed, and that they'll never vote a man like Gregory into office again.” She began to tear up. “Thank you. Run Frost Lark well. Good bye.”
The world seemed to go silent. All the shouting and fighting around us went silent. All that I could hear was the blood rushing through my ears. Sarah turned away, tears streaming down her face. She ran towards the tent, dashing right between the guards, into it. A scream. Blood rushing through the bottom of the tent. Guards running in. The corpse of Gregory Fitzgerald dragged out, a gash in his gut, a grimace on his face. A knocked unconscious Sarah carried away, bloody dagger still in hand. It fell, and was kicked to Skyla, Orlando, and my feet. We stared blankly. Skyla was the first to turn, a glisten in her eyes. Orlando next. I picked up the knife before calling a retreat. Fights broke up, and we walked out of Cloud Ice. I still held the knife, and a group of battered citizens and soldiers followed me. My eyes were filled to the brim with tears, and I could barely see. We went back to our home, victorious, yet not feeling that way.
End of chapter
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Up 'till now, I thought that the whole Lynn/Fitzgerald thing was mirroring Clinton/Trump, although the fact that Lynn is 12 should have been a giveaway. As far as I know, Clinton isn't twelve years old and hasn't assassinated Trump and been executed, but you never know. It's a mad world, after all.
It's based on it though!
Hey there! I absolutely love this funky style you've got rolling; you've got me hooked. Seriously, you have a big portion of supporters in the YWS community and that can be hard. Kudos to you!
Now, I only had one little tidbit that I thought was unnecessary and messed me up like 50% of the time I read it.
I know this is your creative style, but I think this sentence could strengthen your chapter! For whatever reason, it looks funky to me. All I would do is take out the each or put the each before sleep.
'you can sleep in your own corner.'
'you can each sleep in your own corner.'
Now this bit of advice is totally up to you! Just look it over and assess if it'll help. Thank you so much for giving me something funky to review and keep going! You have us cheering for Frost Lark and I can't wait for what happens next.
Sincerely,
Marlow
Thanks for the review!
Hey, Sheyren.
I love the Halloween themed avatar.

I am Sarah Lynn. I'm also the french girl who moved to this town.
And she's also some genius kid who probably graduated from university at age ten? Or a potential criminal mastermind and secret billionaire? Sounds like it.
“Someone needs to write a novel about that,” I said before scribbling a note to myself in the margin.
Haha. I take it you intended this to be a little joke for the reader, leaking through the mystical 'fourth wall'? Because that's how it sounded, and I love it.
“Your still here,” Skyla remarked.
You are, or you're.
We finally arrived at Cloud Ice (We had to go on foot).
It would be cool if you mentioned what happened on their journey, since they didn't teleport from A to B. Were there any guards asking for papers? Did they have to climb through rubble? Stuff like that.
My eyes were filled to the brim with tears, and I could barely see. We went back to our home, victorious, yet not feeling that way.
Well that was a very sudden ending! It was conclusive though, and I'm happy with it. I think I knew all throughout this story that Gregory would never stay in power for very long. At times, this felt more like a narrative than a journal entry, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. To make it more like a journal, you could get rid of the dialogue. What I mean is instead of "Jump," said Anna you could have Anna said to jump. Otherwise, it's pretty cool, like always.
Thanks for the review!