Hello again and happy review day again! 
Since I haven't read the whole thing I can't say much about the character and plot development, but I have a couple of bigger picture thoughts for you. Hopefully I won't repeat myself because I don't remember what all I talked about in the previous review for this story 
So first of all, I still find this story intriguing and I think the way you're choosing to tell it is really creative and really unique. One thing that's harder about telling it this way is showing what's happening and really getting a feel for who these characters are as people like you would in a more standard telling of a story. However, it doesn't mean that you can't have those things in this story, and I think if you're able to do it, it'll make the story shine that much more.
I think I mentioned this in my last review, but maybe not (my reviews are running together for me right now :p) is that right now this feels like you're telling me this story through the eyes of the reporters or the journals. Even with the mediums you're telling the story, I think you could still show a lot more through their writing. Examples -
October Ninth: I have been telling Skyla she needs to stop writing journals and move on from the newspaper. She needs to find something else to do with her life. However, I can't help but write this down. We received a letter from Sarah Lynn, and, well, I'll just write it down.
Where is Orlando as he's writing this? Why is he telling Skyla to stop writing journals and move on? Why does she need to find something else to do with her life? You can give us more of his strain of thought through what he's writing. When did he receive this letter from Sarah Lynn? What are his thoughts and feelings about the letter? We get the letter and we see the letter, but why does the letter matter? I want Orlando to tell me why it matters and what the implications are of this letter. Why did he feel the need to write about it? What is he planning on doing now that he has this letter? I think journals are great ways to show a stream of thought, and I want to know exactly what's going on inside his head like we would if this were an internal monologue.
October Eleventh:
One thing I noticed in this little segment is that you use the word "town" a lot. That really stood out to me when I read it through the first time
I think here, he could describe why he chose to stay in the apartment? What have they been doing to pass the time? Maybe show the discussion he had with Skyla about deciding to visit Sarah Lynn. (I used to include conversations when I used to journal all the time). Just like in the previous example show me more of what he's actually doing and what his stream of thought is rather than Orlando simply explaining to us what happened. I want to see more of what's happening.
In the last entry, I thought you did a better job there of showing us what's going on. I think to ramp it up to the next level, think about the other senses and see if you can add those in to the description as well. You're already showing us what he sees which was great. What about what he hears, smells, feels, etc.? And don't forget about his stream of thought
(If you can't tell, I live to hear what's going on in a character's mind.) I think the last paragraph could be expanded and described in much more detail to really ramp up the emotional intensity. It's a pretty dramatic moment, but because it all happened in the span of one paragraph, I didn't feel much. I think you could slow that moment down and show us a lot more, really take the reader to the moment and let us experience it with the character. Even though Orlando is writing about it in hindsight as he journals, take us through the moment with him.
Overall though, still an intriguing story! I loved the little cliff hanger you included at the end
I hope to see more of this in the green room soon, and in the meantime, let me know if you have any questions or if you would like feedback about something I didn't already mention! 
Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162
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