Young Writers Society

This is Nikayla here for a review!

I figured I would review this since it's Review Day and it's been sitting in the Green Room for quite awhile, so let's jump right into this. How would you review this, though, since it's something of a parody news type of thing?

Honestly, this is something that reminds me of Welcome to Night Vale which I'm pretty positive you're a fan of. I like the concept of having a newspaper or thing based around a school or a certain town. It almost has a sense of humor to it from the way I'm reading it and that only makes it all the more fun. I like how self-aware the newspaper is as it adds a sense of fun to the story because it's often talking about itself and everything of that sort. Something that I would like to see is the articles here be a little longer or feel more like articles?

To me this gives me the tone of some sort of radio station and I just kind of realized that it's not really supposed to be a newspaper and rather is some sort of news thing. It changes the perspective of sort of how I'm reading it, whichever one it is (some clarity for me would be helpful because I'm easily confused. I have no common sense in some places. Dx)

The piece also has a sense of fantasy to it with the ship and the Travellers that are mentioned throughout the chapter and they make me wonder if they'll appear later on as well. I can't tell if the hiatus was on purpose for the story, if it was, you're dedicated, and if you just decided to improvise why the piece was on a hiatus, you also get my awe because I don't think I would be one to think of that.

Anyway, I hope I helped and have a great day!

Okay, let's give this a quick review to shuffle it out of the Green Room. 'Cause I'm sure you'll agree this doesn't need to be in the Green Room.

I was attacked, and awoke just Monday, with no memory of the ship itself.
So it was a great idea to start with a little 'previously' section. I'd just reword the above sentence. 'Just Monday' makes it sound like Monday is a feeling. Like how someone would say 'I feel just swell' or 'the day was just awful'. Maybe make it 'and awoke on Monday'.

However, most citizens can agree that its nice to be able to stroll through the park without the threat of tripping on a bloody appendage, or the smell of weeks-old bodies.
This whole part feels like she's saying anyone who disagrees with the cleanup of the park is an idiot. She's quite biased then, I think. Not that that's a problem, just an observation. But I mean, she's been politically one-sided in her news reports this whole time. XD

I better not forget to remove that in editing.
I guess she forgot.

For some reason though, I imagine this won't be the last time we hear from them.
Aaaaand here's the foreshadowing and *hint hint winking*. Don't forget about the Travellers with two Ls!

I love it.

No time to review, sorry! But I still think this should be a comic strip. It'd be brilliant. XD

If you may excuse me for this...I thought "Holt" said thot.