“Happy Day of Armageddon!”
We at Frost Lark News (which is really just me, Skyla) would like to wish you a happy Armageddon Day! We hope everyone is enjoying their celebration of the inevitable end of humankind's existence! While the actual holiday was, of course, Friday, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to celebrate. Further down, I will go into a detailed explanation of the holiday, as well as its history, to keep the citizens informed.
“Escape?”
The sentient frogs running Frost Lark's school system have escaped. This is unsurprising seeing as they have been complaining about their living conditions and pay. Personally, I think they might be overreacting a bit. It is completely normal not to pay your frogs for running schools, or to keep them in a glass case. They should be happy we're letting them run the schooling, because we could just put them in the zoo.
“Elderly Mister Finch”
Citizens, I regret to inform you that Elderly Mister Finch has been hospitalized. He is old, and has been a member of our community for countless years. Quite literally, since no one in town knows when he came was born, nor have any memories of him coming here. He just has been here. Perhaps forever. He's refused to answer his whole life. Anyhow, it is not looking good for him. We do know he is old, and unfortunately we don't know what is actually wrong with him. The doctors have been working hard to find a solution. May we all pray that he gets better.
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Sincerely,
Joe
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iPhone 7: Tired of your ear bud jacks breaking? Then we'll break them for you! After all, they're irrelevant now.
Comes in all shades of black.
Is waterproof. I think. Just try it and find out.
To avoid screens cracking, we have removed the screen completely. It looks very retro now, with just a motherboard. Kinda Matrix-y, maybe. I've never actually seen the movie.
Also, it supports dating sites. Please try one.
This message might've been brought to you by Apple. Or possibly it was Joe.
Survey Time: What shade of black is your favorite?
a) Black
b) Jet Black
c) Really Black
d) Oh wow, that is very black!
e) Its like a black hol-------------
“Happy Day of Armageddon! - Continued"
For those of you unaware of what Armageddon Day is, it is a holiday celebrated every four years on January twentieth. You may have not heard of it because only one portion of society will celebrate it at a time. There is an algorithm to learning if you should celebrate it or not, but it is extremely complicated and requires watching news channels. This holiday originated in the U.S., but we in Canada have taken a liking to watching the celebration, though we don't exactly understand it.
End of chapter
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140,878 Literary Works • 673,697 Reviews
Jet black XD
Happy Armageddon Day!!
Well, this was a unique start for sure.
You need a comma after "was" and "course" because "of course" is interrupting the sentence.
Suggestion: Instead of "seeing as they" why not "because." It's less wordy that way.
I was surprised to find out "unsurprising" is a word. I am so used to seeing "not surprising."
The frogs are running the school system, gosh. XD
Joe's dating site ad is funny.
Nice. You write humorously well.
Thank you for the review!
Okay, here are my random thoughts.
The sentient frogs running Frost Lark's school system have escaped.
I'm wondering what this symbolises. Frogs in the school system?
They should be happy we're letting them run the schooling, because we could just and them to the zoo.
Add* them to the zoo?
iPhone 7: Tired of your ear bud jacks breaking? Then we'll break them for you! After all, they're irrelevant now.
Love the added humour. Most of the time you twist reality and turn it into fiction, sometimes you straight out joke about real things. It's a good mix.
Survey Time: What shade of black is your favorite?
Jet black!
For those of you unaware of what Armageddon Day is, it is a holiday celebrated every four years on January twentieth.
But was it always worthy of being called Armageddon Day? Maybe the day could've gotten a name change, because Presidents haven't always been bad, surely?
Thanks for the review! The reason it's called Armageddon Day isn't because the presidents are bad. Its because Frost Larkians see people protest and complain about the current president and misunderstand it to be a celebration. That's why only some people "celebrate" the holiday, because their candidate lost.