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Frost Lark News 7/30/17

by sheysse

Frost Lark News 7/30/17

By an anonymous archaeologist

"Frost Lark Founding Story"

Our story starts with a prince. This prince was the son of the chief of the Tribe of the Earthen Grass. It had been a time of peace for the whole land, and as the tribe always worked through peaceful approaches, the hunters were taught to kill only for food, and no one ever learned how to fight. The chief decided that should a time of war ever appear before the tribe, that the tribe would immediately step out of the conflict. He ensured that each member of the tribe would be raised with this mindset.

He always assumed that his own son would grow up with this belief as well, so he never specifically taught such beliefs to the heir of the tribe. When the prince had grown up, he began to give the tribal hunters orders, and since he was the son of the chief, they obliged to his orders. Using this power, he taught his men the art of fighting, something he had learned when in contact with another, more violent tribe, the Blood Heart Tribe. The hunters were secretly being trained the fight, so that eventually, once the prince was chief, he could lead an attack of the Blood Heart Tribe, and steal their land.

But once the chief found out what was happening, and how his son had betrayed his tribe's way of life, he was furious. He kicked his own son out of the tribe temporarily. The hopes were that the prince should learn from his isolation in nature, but instead, the ambitious prince crossed into the Blood Heart Tribe's territory. He purposely let them see him before he ran. They took this trespassing as a sign of war, and attacking the Tribe of Earthen Grass became their next plan. The prince stayed hidden while each piece of his plot fell into place.


Music makes the world go round. Really. It does. Why do you think Earth spins? It's because of the tiny music people living underground who are forced to constantly play music. They make our planet spin. And you know what they play? Yamaha instruments. So you should buy Yamaha instruments. Since the tiny music people do.

Yamaha. "We make everything except correct scientific observations."


Earth needs it. You need it. We sell it. What is it? Water. Yes, now we sell water. Why get water when you can buy it? Pretty cool, huh? Yeah. Our water is cool. It's ice. We sell ice. We're the ice company. Buy from us.

-Generic Ice Company

Survey Time

What do you think sounds the best?

a) Laughs

b) Coughs

c) Hiccups

d) Blood Curdling Screams

e) A Piano playing high G flat

Frost Lark Health Tips

Did you know the use of crying is healthy? So, feel immense sadness to lose weight! Sounds like a plan to me!

"Frost Lark Founding Story" (continued)

The chief was killed in the battle. The Blood Heart Tribe, feeling content with their revenge, left the Tribe of Earthen Grass in turmoil. Who would lead? Who would save their tribe? Without hope, they began to fall apart. Just when they couldn't get any worse, the prince returned. The tribe was so desperate they immediately named him chief, and with that power, he planned to finally take the land he wanted.

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104 Reviews

Points: 4417
Reviews: 104

Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:16 pm
Danni88 wrote a review...

You know, I go to a Yamaha music school.


Survey time: a), because my baby cousin has the funniest laugh ever. It sounds like a duck crossed with a squeaky toy.

So, I like the way this is set like a traditional fable. I'm not sure how Frost Lark is founded throughout this course of events, but maybe that will become clearer later. The bit about not fighting is funny. The prince is right, they should learn how!

I like the way it ends, like an adventure story. As usual, it never fails to amuse me!

Best wishes and keep up the good work,

Danni x

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57 Reviews

Points: 36
Reviews: 57

Fri Aug 04, 2017 1:51 am
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IvoryRose wrote a review...

So my survey answer was e a piano playing a high G flat. I thought the main story was interesting enough to be its own series. In fact, when clicking on this I thought its would be about a place called Frost Lark filled with suspense and drama. I never read descriptions unless I am in the mood for something. As always the humor was great,not that I except any less from the Potato Lord. Of course crying is healthy you lose water weight. I like the fact that it’s in the form of a newspaper and once I click on a story I read the description. Why? Cuz that’s the way I like to live my life and I know that everything’s going to be fine! I’m rambling here. The only fault I found was the part where the chief “kicked his son out temporarily.” I would have used banished instead or just large vocabulary to make it sound more dramatic, adding more wit to the humor. However, that is a small nitpick. I am just a fan of witty humor, I don’t know about you. Yes, I made a Bill Wartz reference. I enjoy random humor as well.

sheysse says...

Bill Wurtz <3
Thanks for the review, and glad you enjoyed!

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364 Reviews

Points: 15630
Reviews: 364

Mon Jul 31, 2017 1:19 pm
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zaminami says...

I took the survey.

Blood Curdling Screams is my answer.

Especially the blood curdling screams of people when I rip their heart out.

sheysse says...

Should I call the therapist?

zaminami says...


I'm a demon goddess. Blood curdling screams is my JOB

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802 Reviews

Points: 18884
Reviews: 802

Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:07 am
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Dracula wrote a review...

Here I am again. :D Overall, I liked this a lot. The massive backstory was an excellent addition, it refueled the story and gave it some oomph. Because Frost Lark can't just keep going on and on, you have to keep it interesting, and this achieved that.

He always assumed that his own son would grow up with this belief as well, so he never specifically taught such beliefs to the heir of the tribe.
What a common mistake! I bet half the reason the Prince didn't pick up on his father's ways was because he was jealous and upset that other people were being focused on and not him!

What do you think sounds the best?
LAUGHS! I actually picked a decent answer for once. But nothing beats a laugh, especially that of an infant.

So, feel immense sadness to lose weight!
And if a person wants to lose weight, then feeling sad is going to be super easy! Ugh, diet culture. :/

and with that power, he planned to finally take the land he wanted.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!! I loved the writing style of this bit, although it is a bit out of style for a newspaper. XD I can that though, since it was an anonymous person *cough cough* writing it and not a trained journalist.

sheysse says...

"Trained journalist" makes it seem like Skyla is good at her job. XD Glad you enjoyed!

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61 Reviews

Points: 125
Reviews: 61

Mon Jul 31, 2017 2:50 am
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Feltrix says...

Ooh, we've got a broken utopia and a vengeful prince. You see, this would only happen in Frost Lark. I'm glad this isn't Iowa News or something. No offense to all you Iowans. As for the survey.... that depends on who's laughing and who's screaming. I look forward to more bloody history in the future!

sheysse says...

Glad you enjoyed!

Are you insulting Iowa? Cause if so, I'm not offended.

Feltrix says...

Well, I sorta called it boring. And, I guess, not bloody?

I mean, um, no.

See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask for no guarantees, ask for no security.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451