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139,534 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
Hello!
First off, there's a certain rhythm to this poem that I truly admire. I can't quite place my finger on it, but I really wanted to read this aloud and hear what it sounded like. I particularly enjoyed the fifth stanza ("Your silver glass" to "I will march with them") and the final one: I also enjoy how the connect to each other. My only true criticism is that the first two stanzas don't feel quite as strong as the rest of the poem, but they're still good. With a little bit of tweaking (maybe bringing in some more of the ideas expressed in the latter half of the poem) I'm sure that they could be just as powerful as the rest.
Thank you very much!
Thank you for your review!
I feel like every line is better then the last one, and I think that is just how your describing it and putting it to gather, and that happens with everyone, so I must say your doing a really good job, I am getting a lot of imagery in my head winch is a big think with writing I feel.
Good job copying and pasting what EagleFly said! It takes a lot of skill to copy and paste something lol
Hi @AmadeusW I am here to do a review on your poem. o and thanks for the Author's Note.
What I like about it
okay I think this is me all over, I am not shore why but it sounds like me, so reel, nice job.
this is me again, I feel this is defiantly Realistic in stead of romance, but that's okay anyways, I love these two lines.
What is really good
I feel like every line is better then the last one, and I think that is just how your describing it and putting it to gather, and that happens with everyone, so I must say your doing a really good job, I am getting a lot of imagery in my head winch is a big think with writing I feel.
What needs work
Okay so I was not really shore about this line, so I thought and now I think I no what the problem is here, I will put this in suggestions and what I change will be in bold for you to see.
Suggestions
With every day that goes past, I know not my face.
Okay so that is all that I can say about this even though it was so long, I just think that you did a grate job of this like really, if I came across as being really harsh and just unfair I am so sorry pleas for give me, So keep up the grate poem writing, I think you did a grate job here, I am looking forward to reading more of your poems, and works if you have any.
@EagleFly out to Seek and Kill