Three hundred sixty-five days.
That's one year.
Twelve months.
Fifty-two weeks.
Eight thousand seven hundred sixty-five point eight hours.
°
But it only took you three seconds
To leave.
°
For you to decide that you didn't want to spend another
Three hundred sixty-five days
alive.
°
Or that you didn't want to spend another
Twelve months
Dreaming.
°
That you didn't want to spend another
Fifty-two weeks
With me.
°
But one year later,
I'm still here.
I'm still standing by your grave.
Shedding my
Eight thousandth seven hundredth sixty-sixth tear.
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139,340 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
First off, I just want to say that I completely and utterly agree with BlockedWriter21; this work is FABULOUS. I mean, it's just so emotional, and clever, and sweet, and perrrfect. I loooooove it. Excellent, excellent, you-made-me-cry-and-I-don't-even-know-your-narrator's-name job.
First off, I just want to say that your poem is fantastic. The way that you utilized the numbers from the first stanza throughout the whole poem was genius. The way you wrote about this particular tragic moment and how you felt was gorgeous. I read your other poem "Wildfire" and though it was no less genius and beautifully written. You have true talent that is a pleasure to read of. I will no doubt be reading more of your work. You are doing amazing. Kee up the fabulous work.
Thank you so much. I'm just speechless. <3
The feels bro! The feels!
That random feel thrown in there though! >~<
This was truly amazing. Seriously... I'm lost for words ! Great Job!
Thank you soo much!
Really needed this. Thank you.
It will always be here. <3
OH. MY. LORD. OF. CHEESE. AND. CRACKERS. THIS IS AMAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First of all, GREAT word choice. Also, good job at grammar and spelling!
One nitpick:
I think you mean didn't here. If they wanted to spend more time with them I think they wouldn't have died... Just sayin'.
Other than that quick nitpick, everything was perfect. And I mean EVERYTHING. Don't change anything other than the nitpick! Just please do not. I will literally be upset if you do XD
(Just kidding. But I really really really really really really love this the way it is.)
I love how you point out the time that makes a year from largest to smallest, then go on using those time measurements to explain things that happened. WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA! I would not have even thought about that. This poem is beautiful in so many ways, you know.
And about adding one to the hours to make them tears, EVEN MORE BRILLIANT. THIS POEM IS FULL OF BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!! You earned yourself a like and a follow from just this one poem!
Keep up the fantastic writing you're doing!
~Em101cats~
(P.S. I will read ANYTHING you put out there
This means the world to me ohmygosh just thank you so much for commenting. And thank you for pointing that out! I didn't notice my typo! <3 *follows back*
Percybeth!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 (for seven days a week)
@hollyhuez, I agree for 365 reasons, actually only five, sorry. It was cute and sad and depressing and creative, and I also agree with the nitpicks.
This poem was short and sweet, but it almost made me cry (I took ten seconds deciding if I should).
I loved it.
-Savvy (it took me about five minutes to write this, but I was distracted)
Savvvvvvvvyyyy
,
I always love when you review my poems ;D sometimes you just have to let your tears breathe and roll down your face!
Thank yaaaa #swag
Hi. You're really good at math.
.
This was cute, but sad and depressing at the same time. It reminds me of a bad relentship my sister went through once. Her and her ex were going out for a year and he simply broke up with her over a text message that took 3 seconds to type. He didn't die though.
This poem makes my chest feel right and I kind of feel like crying. It sounds like a break up and a suicide because of depression. I really hope this didn't happen to you or anyone you know
Nitpicks-
You have good grammar in general, just maybe you could use some more figurative laungage or descriptive vocabulary, but I like how this's.
You do have some fragments, but I like some fragments in a writing piece because it makes it more creative.
I don't really see anymore bit picks, and I don't know what else to say, so I guess this is the end. Countinue writing <3
xD I actually had to look up how many hours there were and double check how many weeks, but i'll pretend I'm still great at math. ;p
I'm sorry for your sister, I wish people could realize the impact we have on each other with what we do and what we say.
As I was writing this and every time I read it myself I just feel pressure build up inside that wants to escape in tears, but then I come back to comments like these and I smile and it's sunny inside me again. But no, a suicide, lost-love, break up thing hasn't happened to me or anyone I know (thank the gods).
I sort of just wanted this poem to be simple, yet emotional. I split up lines at different words to accent the word or phrase by itself. To just absorb what it all has to offer and take a breath to start the next.
Thank you, i'll write a very descriptive poem soon ^.^ :3