Rippling waves holding hands with delicate wind;
Rushing to touch me and know what warmth feels like.
Grains of sand massaging my feet as if it was its destiny.
Levitating clouds watching over me, observing how
my golden hair grows in loosened curls.
Trees swaying as the wind feels them too.
Fish tickling the waves out of the excitement of living.
°
Waves ripple from my blue eyes too, mistaking them for its home.
Imitating its fish and stroking my skin,
searching for warmth left,
but its wind has made me like the trees, shivering;
Trying to massage me like the sand use to do,
before there was glass.
The clouds tried to feel my growing curls,
they fell apart as the rain smothered me.
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139,278 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Hello there,
This was a beautiful poem! You make your words flow well, and the imagery is great!
I don't see anything I need to point out that you need to fix, but I have a suggestion for the line
"Trees shivering as the wind feels them too."
Since I feel like the first stanza is meant to make the reader feel safe, I don't think the word 'shivering' should be used since it has a negative connotation. Maybe something like 'swaying' would be better.
Overall, I really loved this poem. It has a beautiful feeling to it, and it is lighthearted yet deep, which makes an amazing piece. Keep writing!
-Aqua
Than you so much for this review! That's a really really great idea and I'm going to change that! I'm super glad that you got the idea of this poem.
Thanks!
If I had to use one word to describe this poem it would be WOW, just WOW. I can feel it, like I'm there with the person. A happiness stolen, sent swirling into the endless dark hole of depression. A lost love? Or maybe one that will soon come to an end? The person has changed, or at least they feel as though they have. They also feel as though the other person has changed, and is desperately clinging to the warmth the first feels they have lost? Basically looking to rekindle that flame that has been doused. I'm probably looking too much into it. Anyways I hope I read more of your stuff! =^_^=
I love hearing how people interpret my poems!
If you want how my state of mind when I wrote it, look at my reply on the first review 
thank you for this! I means a lot. :3
Hi there. Its been awhile since I reviewed any poetry, but I will give this a go.
My favorite part was the last two sentences. I really enjoyed the way the first stanza and second stanza mirror each other, and are opposites. You create this whole world that is alive and enjoying it, and then it seems to enjoy it too much and destroy itself. Its very interesting and creative.
I didn't understand why you described your golden curls as growing curls in the second stanza. I didn't really get the description. Were the clouds mad that you were growing and decided to smother you? lol. I feel like glowing would be a better word here.
"but now there's glass".
I feel like this needs a little work but I'm not sure why. I kind of see a relation with the sand to glass thing and its interesting but it seems too brief and blunt.
Overall great beginning and ending and nice writing style! Thanks.
Hey, thanks for this review! I said growing instead of golden the second time because I didn't want to be super repetitive as I was being. The clouds weren't mad at all, actually, the exact opposite. See in the first stanza you can see the beginning of nature admiring the girl, she in turn, watches how the waves move towards her, with a breezy wind and how the sand molds around her feet and how the clouds always seem to be above her, just admiring from a distance. In the second stanza, it's when everything becomes so fascinated with her that is doesn't understand that it's all actually I guess hurting her. They misjudged (hint hint, title) their own power because they saw her as something of a god. The waves then take the form of tears building in her eyes, blue like the ocean, and how the fish touched the ocean, they roll down her face. "Searching" for warmth just like the tides did in the ocean. And the wind that always follows the waves were too strong and made her shiver like how the trees blow. The wind wanted to massage her body like the sand did to her feet, but it felt like glass cutting her skin. Just like how you can find broken glass in the beach (I too though, that one glass line didn't fit the rest, sentence structure wise). The clouds wanted to finally touch those golden curls that they always admired, but their rain ruined them, ultimately bringing her to the opposite she was in the first stanza, full of wonder then hopeless and destroyed.
Nice you put a lot of thought into your poetry