Decaying Thoughts of a Blooming mind

by Mikko

  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

Published March 17, 2012

In Poetry :)

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Decaying Thoughts of a Blooming Mind

So Mesh was dared to type up her poem during the poetry workshop and I said if she did, I would post mine on the main site. So here it is.

Bandaged like a battle wound,
upright like the swords in action;
trampled fields of life, love, splendour -
proud as a final surrender.

Cries from beneath the Heavens
lifted palms, resting crows;
rising souls hear the echoes
from the mouths of the deaf,
deep from the void soul of Death.

Love disintergrates into constellations
carried on the fingers of Time,
dissolved amongst the ocean's particles;
forever shall live those who find 
the decaying thoughts of a blooming mind.
Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
InTheTrees
Review
InTheTrees wrote a review Review · Mar 21, 2012

One quick thing: it's "disintegrates" not "disintergrates".
Great read. I like the on and off rhymn scheme, and the imagery is beautiful. My favorite line is "lifted palms, resting crows;". Really powerful. The only thing I would consider changing is the part about the "void soul of Death". It just confuses me a little, because then I think that maybe the entire poem is about one mind and body if that makes sense at all. Maybe just "void of Death" would work? I don't know, probably me just being stupid.
Thank you for putting this up. I enjoyed it.

User avatar
Butterfly18
Comment
Butterfly18 commented Comment · Mar 17, 2012

Nice. I really liked it.

I'm not a huge an of poetry but I think this poem has made me want to give it more of a chance.

Loved this. :)


Mikko
Mikko replied · Mar 18, 2012

Thanks (:



I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good... then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness.
— Leo Tolstoy