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140,783 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
One quick thing: it's "disintegrates" not "disintergrates".
Great read. I like the on and off rhymn scheme, and the imagery is beautiful. My favorite line is "lifted palms, resting crows;". Really powerful. The only thing I would consider changing is the part about the "void soul of Death". It just confuses me a little, because then I think that maybe the entire poem is about one mind and body if that makes sense at all. Maybe just "void of Death" would work? I don't know, probably me just being stupid.
Thank you for putting this up. I enjoyed it.
Nice. I really liked it.
I'm not a huge an of poetry but I think this poem has made me want to give it more of a chance.
Loved this.
Thanks