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only fragments

by Mea

there is no narrative in crisis
it’s only fragments knotted
into a strange collective grief

there is work to do and work i do
and what’s missing is only fragments
sometimes the grief is gratitude
mixed with guilt

there is a black hole where our future was
i guess it was only ever fragments anyway

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52 Reviews

Points: 30
Reviews: 52

Thu Apr 30, 2020 10:52 pm
ToxicAnglerFish wrote a review...

Hello! I have come to review your poem! Once again it's another one of your poems! and I must say you have some talent!

This review will be shorter since the poem isn't as long, but this poem, however, is so well written and lovely like the last poem of yours I reviewed! This poem holds so much emotion in it such as:

"There is no narrative in crisis
it’s only fragments knotted
into strange collective grief"

These lines are powerful and one of the perfect ways to describe the grief and crisis, it's strange but yet is also fragmented as, the way I see it, it's so sudden and the fragments are the fear and uncertainty going on right now I like to think of it symbolizing everyone working together yet alone and isolated to get through this but yet there is no plan or "narrative" at the same time to understand this, therefore, keeping the fear, uncertainty, and sadness there.

"There is work to do and work I do
and what’s missing is only fragments
sometimes the grief is gratitude
mixed with guilt"

These lines speak so much, the writer is working and they do the work but the fragments are missing, this is representing the writers missing fear and uncertainty in my opinion, it shows the writer feels somewhat sad or worried after seeing what everyone else is going through but it's mostly guilt as they feel guilty for not feeling as sad and worried as everyone else since they have work to do.

The final lines,

"there is a black hole where our future was
i guess it was only ever fragmented anyway"

These lines, in my opinion, are the most powerful ones, they represent how while there was a possibility for a future before even in fragments of once again fear and uncertainty, its now a black hole showing there's no future that is visible and that it's sucking all the light and hope out of the situation.

I feel like I probably miss some of the correct symbolism for the poem, But either way, this poem is beautiful and very well written with once again excellent emotional language wisely chosen vocabulary for the poem that's mature and yet fits perfectly with the themes of your poem topic. Your work is excellent and you just gained a new follower

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34 Reviews

Points: 611
Reviews: 34

Thu Apr 30, 2020 2:15 pm
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shayspeare wrote a review...

Hi. I'm Shay.

First off, I would like to say. You wrote this beautifully. I think it epitomizes the melancholy of the world's current situation perfectly. I like that you lacked punctuation and capitalization; this poem, in turn, exudes similarities to the poem "Hazel Tells Laverne" because it used the same technique with the same purpose: in both your poem and the poem I mentioned, the speaker lacks a sense of hope for a better future. I hope that's what you intended.

I liked the repetition of only fragments. It makes it kind of exude a sigh, especially at the end.

You have a lot of potential. Keep writing.

- Shay

Mea says...

Thank you for the review! I went and read "Hazel Tells Laverne" because I was curious, and I really enjoyed it, so thanks for the recommendation.

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119 Reviews

Points: 10789
Reviews: 119

Thu Apr 30, 2020 1:22 pm
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Clairia wrote a review...

Hello, Mea! I'm Clairia, here to review.

Spoiler! :

Just a trigger warning if anyone else were to read this: I speak on the COVID-19 epidemic in light detail whilst reviewing this piece.

I felt very strongly that this was a raw depiction of emotion during this time. I'm beyond impressed with your word choice and the fleeting pangs of concern; you depict that feeling of pure confusion that's so fresh amongst the entire world in a way that I can only marvel at.
These lines spoke to me immediately upon reading:
sometimes the grief is gratitude
mixed with guilt

You've hit the nail on the head in terms of my own experience; grateful to have the break, but being vaguely aware of the virus' toll on our family, friends, and even strangers internationally. Not knowing how we're supposed to feel in the midst of this pandemic is one of the most confusing and heartbreaking things of all. No one alive has experienced something of this intensity--an international emergency, so to speak--and so we're all new to the panic and fear that comes with it. However, I have faith that we'll all get through this together. <3

In terms of critiques, I can honestly say that after reading through this about seven times that I've got nothing :) your writing is flawless, Mea. I cannot find fault in it from a technical standpoint--and as another person affected so personally by the CoronaVirus I don't have it in my heart to critique the concept. You've done a wonderful, excellent job here. I'd love to read more from you in the future.

Best (and stay safe!)


Mea says...

Thank you for the review. I'm really glad this spoke to you so strongly. I was worried the dual gratitude/grief thing wouldn't make sense but I'm glad you caught that right away and that I'm not the only one with that weird feeling. :)

Clairia says...

<3 <3

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51 Reviews

Points: 161
Reviews: 51

Thu Apr 30, 2020 6:54 am
Ishan212 wrote a review...

Hello I'm Ishan Dhyani and I'm here to review your poem "only fragments". So here we begin:

Well this is going to be a review after a really really long time at Young Writer's Society, so do pardon me for any mistakes, if I commit.

Your title "only fragments" talks about something being broken, something breaking into pieces, it rather reflects a kind of pessimism, if not sadness.

In the first stanza, you talk about "crisis", that I can't help but relate to the COVID- 19 pandemic that has engulfed our world in recent year.

In the subsequent paragraph you talk about the poet not being able to do what he or she wants to do as he or she finds something missing. This not doing it the work leads to a sense of guilt and gratitude in the poet, that he is unable to differentiate and hence is in a dilemma

As you end the poetry, you talk about the future being dark like a "black hole", and it being fragmented or broken.

Anyways, a rather, touching poetry, full of similes like the. "black hole" and is emotive in nature.

A really good poem!!!.
Keep Writing!!!
PS. Stay safe in the times of COVID- 19

Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman