Musical Adrenaline

Hey Books~

I love piano, so this review may be slightly biased , but I'll try the best I can to ignore the part of me that wants to fall in love with this poem immediately so I can give you some constructive criticism.

The alliteration you demonstrate in this piece is flawless, and really enhances the desperation and urgency the narrator is feeling as they are I immersing their selves within their music. Lines like "playing, praying for release." and "twisting through the two-tone maze" make it seem as if your poetry has a song-like rhythm, which is especially vital throughout this particular piece.

"twisting through the two-tone maze, I"

I actually enjoyed the dramatic suspense you placed after "I" by moving to the next line, in contradiction to what @Tuesday was saying. In fact, I think the entire format of this poem was nicely done. However, I do have a nitpick with this line; what are the two tones? You describe a two-tone maze, and the maze metaphor further captivates me, but the "two-tone" thing kind of throws me off. Do you mean like sharps and flats (the black keys) as opposed to the white keys? Are there two voices inside of your head, possibly symbolized by the right hand and left hand parts on the piano? I have no idea, and while I, for one, enjoy enigmas, it seems as if you're leaving something out. It takes away from the overall vibe of the work.

"but I always find a way out,
exhilarated."

The ending nicely corresponds to your title, "Musical Adrenaline" (brilliant, by the way ), but it makes it so the drama enforced throughout your entire poem just kind of...falls off at the end. The narrator is obviously confused and overwhelmed, desperate for answers, crashing into dead ends, and then suddenly the struggle just comes to a dead stop? The narrator's sudden confidence makes it seem as if his/her entire journey was bound for success since the beginning. It makes me lose interest as the reader.

Besides missing the falling action, which isn't always necessary, especially in poetry, it seems like you're missing a climax; that moment where the narrator sees that light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Having no climax is a huge no-no in my book. The length of your poem leaves room for a few more lines. Build up the action more, maybe referring to "the bridge" of the piano piece, and then create this moment where everything kind of explodes and deflates, like a balloon popping. You know?

Well, despite the things that may need work, your poem did touch me as a reader, as I happen to somehow gravitate to anything in relation to music . Keep moving people!

Yours,
Savvy

Hello Tuesday here for a review. I like to begin that i am sure people who play the piano could relate to what you wrote since if they have been playing that piano for the longest time, they would race around corner or playing through a tow-toned maze. Also the tone of this would be jumpy and kinda like a fast beat piano playing (to me that). Also i enjoyed the little rhymes you made in and out of this poem that gave itself rhythm or an off-beat when being read. Plus there is some imagery in this poem (little but known).

Nitpick(s):

twisting through the two-tone maze, I

Use capitals at the beginning of every line, because it helps us understand the beginning and end of the lings. You might half to use spaces and commas more wisely. Maybe you should extend the length of the poem, and you should have more depth when you write. It was very interesting but I can not relate.
Keep trying!

Okay I need you to understand that you don't have to rush. I'm saying this because it seemed rushed up. Even if you weren't doing so.

Good use of words. Use capitals at the beginning of every line, use spaces and commas effectively. Extend the length of this. Make use of the space, come on, you have potential, show me something cool

Put more input on the emotions and feelings of the person playing the instrument, on how the music rushed up the adrenaline.

It was a good skeleton. But there was no meat. Sorry for being rude I suck at stuff too, and I mess up a lot of times, so don't worry, it's not that I'm high on my head

So just put a little magic to this.

Keep writing and stay blessed.
xoxo