Vivace

I love musical poetry! This poem was a delight to read, and you chose nice musical terms to give the reading some texture. My only question would be that I didn't quite understand your choice of colors - as I don't normally associate blue or green with happiness or excitement - but maybe those are your favorite colors?

I kind of like the variety in the syllable & line length as it gives the impression of skipping or kind of jolting from line to line. In most cases I might cringe, but since you are using the word "hop" I think the non-smooth line breaks are perfectly acceptable. The end didn't have quite the punch like "oh that's what this is all about" that I was hoping for, but it was still a nice little piece. I also will say that I like your capitalization and punctuation choices, the commas don't seem random but strategically placed to go with the pace of the reading.

Nice piece Mea! I hope you write some more musical poetry some time!

alliyah

Ayy, you've got some sensational energy here. It suits you!

The greatest active element in the piece as far as I'm concerned is the well-executed alliteration and assonance throughout, whether it was intentional or not. You kinda just blew it out of the park? Like I'm not even sure a bat was involved. You just. Good. You did a good.

All that said, it is very one-dimensional and serves as light and airy almost-filler, considerably along the lines of a mid-song from Legally Blonde. And yeah, I'm looking at you, Bend and Snap.

Ultimately as a reader I'm happy for the narrator. I'm happy that there's happiness, and in conveying that emotion you've achieved what a poet should achieve in giving me your feelings translated through words. So it's not a morose masterpiece that introspects on the human condition or existential crises. It's a freakin' happy poem about being happy that it's hip hop violin day, and somewhere, Lindsey Stirling feels happy that this is happening because she feels partially responsible.

Very well-executed, Mea. And very nice sensory details sprinkled in. Not unnoticed, not forgotten.

Ty <3

Wowww.. I love this one.. it's a bit short in length but that just adds to the beauty of this piece.. It shouts out joy and happiness.. It has rhythm, lyric, imagery, onomatopoeia, metaphor.. Basically everything.. This is inspirational.. I would love to read more of YOU.. Thank You:)

Reading this was a bit of a challenge, mainly because it felt like you jumped from one to the next. You also failed to use commas which played a part in it being hard to read.


"I swing up the hill
through the blue sweaters green skirts
black hair – it’s a hip-hop violin day
and spicatto-spun phrases crescendo, cascade
into spearmint air and bounce
on the pavement in time with my shoes."

The above snippet from your piece could have/ should have been written as:

"I swung up the hill
through the blue sweaters, green skirts, black hair
-it's a hip-hop violin day and spicatto-spun phrases
a crescendo casacade into spearmint air
and bounced on the pavement in time with my shoes."

This was just my opinion. Of course, you are allowed to write it the way you feel. But, those were just a bit of grammatical errors.
Keep up the good work!
-M.