we fought over my new comforter today.
it wasn’t really a fight, but i felt just the same
afterward – ashamed.
you took my old, careworn love,
and dumped it on the floor,
seeing only a battered, ugly quilt.
i found it in the hallway after school,
alone and abandoned.
i know its pain,
but that’s no one’s fault
but mine.
you spread the new one out, shiny and purple and
perfect.
and when i tried it out i didn’t like the way it felt
against my skin,
too smooth and lightweight and
fake.
i told you this and it hurt
and i’m sorry it’s the truth.
i wanted to love it, but it’s too fluffy
to clutch to my chest when my heart hurts,
too light for me to pretend
there’s someone there beside me,
too slick to hold the tears
i hide from you.
it looks like it belongs in a magazine,
but magazines aren’t reality
and i’m sick of playing make-believe.
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140,220 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
Hi, Meandbooks!
This is a beautiful poem. The subject is so deceptively simple. Like, on one level, it's just about a quilt, but I feel like it goes so much deeper than that.
For me, it reminds me so much of my earlier teenage years, when it felt like everything familiar was disappearing around me and there was nothing solid to hold on to. And I'm assuming the "you" in the poem is the narrator's mother, which makes it even more relatable for me. I went through (am still going through) a period where I felt similarly misunderstood and fake. I'm not sure if you meant it this way, but it sounds like the narrator sees herself in her old quilt. I hope that makes sense, but I'm having a hard time explaining quite what I want to say.
I love the formatting as well - the italicized portions really add that deepness I mentioned, and the lack of capitalization adds a level of imperfection that just seems right.
-floatingvoice
Thank you.
Sorry I didn't see this earlier, I somehow missed the notification.
Hi, Meandbooks! I'm here to give you a review! Happy review day!
)
(Sorry if I leave out a letter in any word, my wireless keyboard seems to be losing connection a bit and leaves out letters a lot.)
I love your work; it was a lovely thing to read. The concept of small things reaching out so big surprised me in the best way possible. I really enjoyed the way you made a simple comforter mean something so huge. (Personally, I can't relate to the narrator in this work [I don't know if it is you] because I loved getting my new comforter
However, there are a few things in this work that I can relate to, such as the last paragraph with the mention of the magazine concept. When I was younger, I thought that you could grab a magazine, go to Kroger's and ask for the picture to be installed in your room. I asked my mom if she could do that and I found out the truth: Not everything in a magazine is reality. Maybe they don't sell those pillows. Maybe it's not as cheap as it says it is (darn tax).
I found no errors (which is wonderful!) (I am using a lot of parentheses) and have nothing else to say.
Very good job with this! Keep up the fantastic writing!
~Em101cats~
Hey.
Woah, a quilt and such amazing stuff? I think you love the meanings small things convey, good job on displaying it all here. I liked how you changed your paras effectively, and no typos or errors, it was just awesome. I loved the imagery too, I kinda pictured how it might be.
Secondly, why do I feel there is something missing? I don't know exactly lol, but just check it once and see if you can add more. And change the title, please, doesn't match.
Keep writing and stay blessed.
xoxo
Hello there, Meandbooks. I hope you are doing fine. Well, I am here for a review and I hope to make it really helpful for you.
Well, skim reading the poem, it tells me that you didn't capitalize any of your first letters of the poem. That's pretty odd and different and shouldn't be happening.
The stanzas are pretty long, which really isn't a bad thing at all, but it makes your poem look kinda long. You really should have a great command of punctuation when making super long stanzas. Let's explore how well everything went.
A rule of English is that you really need to capitalize "I" no matter what. That's what you didn't do and I really wish you could/should do.
Your first long stanza is pretty cool and impressive. Although I am a little unsure as to what you are talking about there but the structure and word selection is splendid.
Why's the perfect all alone? Perfect things aren't always alone and nor should the word be. haha
Confusing! Why? Well, because you didn't put a comma after the word "out". You need it there. You do!!
It hurts!! You should change that word.
Besides me rather than beside me.
The ending could have have been better. Those two long stanzas were really good and awesome. I liked it. The ending wasn't really what it could be.
Overall, the language and everything about the poem was too good. Keep writing because you are awesome!
*salutes* Greetings, Captain Meandbooks!
I don't often review poetry, but I must say that I really like this. I kind of know what it is like to sleep in something your entire life then have it changed to something "better," but naturally you had become attached to the comfort you've loved forever! I love that you were able to write a poem about this topic (a unique one at that) but at the same time relate it to something else. It seems to also be a hidden love story:
This may be referring to someone you met at school, yes? For throughout the poem, the narrator certainly seems to be talking to a certain person they love or loved.
I loved the words you used, such as "careworn love." There is no need for you to change the i's, for you are the poet, and can do as you like.
Great job and keep it up, Meandbooks!
It's actually referring to the blanket, which the narrator's mom (that's the person they're talking to) dumped in the hallway outside my room. They found it after they got home from school.
It's kind of supposed to weave a metaphor of the narrator not feeling like they can turn to their mom for comfort, so naturally feeling upset when they lose the one thing that does comfort them.
Of course, your interpretation can be entirely correct, too.
Thanks for the review!
Oh, I see it now! No, that makes a lot more sense haha!
Hi! rhane118 here giving you a review!
I really liked your poem. Your last stanza was amazing and I see that CHRISSY321 said the same thing. I also liked your portions in italics because they just added more emphasis to those sections and made them stand out more.
Like CHRISSY321 said as well you really should capitalize all of the "i"s in your poem. It would just make it less distracting and easier to read.
All in all I really enjoyed your poem
Hello Meandbooks! CHRISSY321 here with a review!
***Happy Review Day!***
I think that this speaks volumes.I think that this is how many children think. I know because there are some times where I really want to wear an old shirt, an old favorite and it feels just perfect to me, and my mother would tell me know because it was ratty. I think that this was funny, and just made me feel and remember things like that. I love it!
Ok, so there is noel thing I want to point out that I loved.
"it looks like it belongs in a magazine,
but magazines aren’t reality
and i’m sick of playing make-believe."
I think that this really says something. I can imagine a image like that in magazines! That is just great.
ONE BIG FIX:
You really need to capitalize all of the "i"s in this poem! It kind of bugged me, thinking that they just really needed to be capitalized.
Overall I loved this the pieces! Yay! I love it- and I will be reading more from you!:D
KEEP WRITING!