Stay Outside

I'm going to start by saying that I like everything you have here with the exception of my being confused by the meaning of "romance laments". The concept of romance doesn't seem capable of lamenting anything. Other than that, I liked the creative word choice.

However, I think this song could really benefit from a more fleshed-out bridge. I know there are a lot of songs out there with bridges that are just words from earlier in the song repeated, but I feel like the concept of this song could use a little more explaining, and the bridge would be a good place to do that. Use the bridge to describe why staying outside is the solution to the problems listed in the verses, and that would give the song a sense of cohesion. The bridge can be the heart and soul of a song, and a strong bridge could take this song from pretty good to great.

It really made me feel interested in this but by the halfway we were...It just started repeating the same sentence?I think you could still use one sentence several times but not one after another like endless row.Maybe adding something between them to make it a bit longer and this way more interesting?Maybe.The repeatment of 'outside'just made it look like you wanted to rhyme it even if it was oddly forced.Does repeating one word could be counted as a rhyme?I do not know.Mostly the other rhymes were well connected with each other and you could feel you had thought before writing them down.I could like it more if there was not so much repeatment but this is my own opinion.
If you could correct or even somehow finish it..then this would be great and I may review it again.Good luck if you will be doing it.

Hey there King. Just lizzy stopping by for a quick review. I have never reviewed lyrics but I am going to treat them as I am reviewing a poem.

Alright, te repition of a few lines bothers me and I think someone else already mentioned that. My own solution would be continue with "I will stay outside" as your chorus and then extending the thoughts. Where you have 4 lines of stay outside, I would create a new set of ideas adding on to the maintain lines.

Okay onto grammar. I am neither good nor bad at critiquing this category. It is something I have trouble with myself. I am not even sure how to do grammar so let's just stick to spelling in this review. I did not see any spelling mistakes.

Overall I did not like your song. Maybe it was because of the repition just gave it a bad feeling.

Well that's it, hope you had a happy holiday.
-lizzy

Heya! Well, King, I think I'll be reviewing your lyrics!
I have to say its an.. Odd song. I get that it's about fear.. But I feel as if its not finished. If its not, you should really finish it!
Okay, like in any song, you have to diverse lyrics. You can't just repeat, repeat, and then repeat some more to make it sound good. And, in the last part, you repeat quite a bit.
They're two short actual verses, and the rest seems to be just chorus. I its technically good, but its not my preference.
Anyway, I wish you luck! No grammar or spell ng errors! I hope to see more from you!
Sincerely-MatthewAaron.