Too soon
Too soon
Too soon
Too soon
We’re finding it a little bit hard
We’re finding it a source for the harm
We’re finding it a little bit hard
We’re finding a place that’s alarmed
And so we cry for nothing
So we laugh for nothing
So we scream for nothing
But then what is nothing?
So we cry for nothing
So we laugh for nothing
So we scream for nothing
But then what is nothing?
Too soon
Too soon
Some things just lash out
Without a warning or note
No God to believe in
And there’s nothing that can be done
Just suck it up- yeah, suck it up
Just suck it up and nod your pretty head
Some things just lash out
Without a warning or note
Ohhhhhh…….
We have found it a little bit hard
We have found it a source for the harm
We have found it a little bit hard
We have found a place that’s alarmed
And so we cry for nothing
So we laugh for nothing
So we scream for nothing
But then what is nothing?
So we cry for nothing
So we laugh for nothing
So we scream for nothing
But then what is nothing?
Too soon
Too soon
Too soon
We’re finding it a little bit hard
We’re finding it a source for the harm
We’re finding it a little bit hard
We’re finding a place that’s alarmed
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Canary word: Present
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Hello!
Stegosaurus here for a review!
As you posted this as lyrics, I can see the theme and the feeling of this. Another thing, I am sure most people can relate to this as most songs do that. They have the feeling of people agreeing and nodding their head. However, I feel like the repeating on the same lyrics doesn't exactly move the point across. It is like shoving snow on something then smoothing it out then adding more snow etc.
Try adding some feeling in the middle (like the chorus) because all it seems, this seems to be the backdrop of songs.
Another thing, is the spacing. However, you can leave it the way you must. Completely up to you since you are the poet/writer of this.
Overall, this was a good piece of lyrics and hopefully get to read more of your work!
If you like me to go over anything, let me know!
Steggy
Hi KingQueenKnave, Felistia here with a review on your poem.
Firstly happy review day.
Now on with the review.
This poem feels a little to repetitive to be a poem, it feels more like a song format. Over all I like the theme and it reads pretty smoothly. There isn't much description in here, but there is a thin thread of emotion. I think the poem needs a bit of punctuation to tell the reader how to read the poem. I couldn't find any grammar mistakes. I still think that this would serve well as a song, because it reads and feels like that. Over all I liked it. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
I posted it as lyrics.
Oh yes you did. Sorry really late over here.