Top ten reasons
Why top ten reasons
Why top ten reasons
Why top ten reasons
Etc.
All a question of oneupmanship
All a matter of perspective
Though we all know this society is very exclusive
To those with observant anecdotes
Or who like the right TV shows
Or follow the right religion
(cue corny quote from Genesis)
Top ten reasons
Why top ten reasons-
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139,787 Literary Works • 672,768 Reviews
Hi KingQueenKnave, Felistia here with a review on your short story.
Firstly, happy review day.
The story: The story was fairly simple, but nice to read. It was a bit short, but it was still a good poem. Well done.
The punctuation and grammar: The punctuation and grammar seems to all be in place and the punctuation is not over used or under used.
The over all: I liked it.
Problems: It could do with out these lines in the beginning. (Why top ten reasons
Why top ten reasons
Why top ten reasons) Just keep one of them.
They really drag on and stop the reader from being immersed in the poem. They also are a really bad hook for reviewers.
Over all a nice poem and I look forward to your next work. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
Hi!!
Welcome to your first month at YWS!! I really like the direction and quality of your poem. It's an old topic that gets passed around each generation: the cool kids club, but I enjoy the fresh spin you put on it. There were a few things I didn't like, for example: why do you repeat "Why top ten reasons" over and over again... I don't know what it means and as a reader to me it carries no meaning in the poem. I could finally get into the poem once the "All a question of oneupmanship" started, and I love what follows that, but it tends to get a little repetitive again with the last two lines. I'd also like to see this a little longer because I think you could ellaborate a bit more with this topic.
Any questions just message me
XOXO Rascalover
Rasca, the ten reasons is referring to the huge fad YWS had a few weeks ago which was "Ten reasons why Nate is afraid of YWSers/lampposts/tampons" and all that. The popularity contest, I believe, ties straight back to that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, though.
Oh! Sorry I had no idea about any of that. I just jumped right back into reviewing.