Hi InuYosha,
Mailice here with a short review # 400! 
First of all, I must say that I have never seen a poem about an albatross, and I welcome this species that you want to introduce with it. I was also pleasantly surprised by the content, I thought it would be more of a eulogy about a bird that (is it the king of birds?) scores with its breathtaking wingspan.
I see in this poem not only the urge of a man who wants to become an albatross in order to be free, but also his ignorance of the fact that an animal like an albatross also has a hard life and he thinks it will get better, but I think it will only get worse.
I like how you create indirect repetition (is that what it's called?) with your inclusion of the "good morning / noon, etc" and the adjectives that go with it. If you put them in a row, you can also see a daily routine that the albatross has and it shows me that the man is only subconsciously aware that the bird has a lot of work and has to fight for survival.
What I also like is how the other lines rhyme and you create an interesting poem that makes an exciting undertone.
How is it that you can so gracefully fly?
Good Morning, Albatross, wonderful, wonderful Albatross,
If I weren't human, I'd join you in the sky.
I like the way you express the one longing right in the first stanza, and how this immediately reveals the theme of the poem.
How is it that you can be so free?
Good Morning, Albatross, feathery, feathery Albatross,
If I weren't busy, I'd join you in the sea.
In this line, I really like how the "ignorance" is reflected and you realise that the man is a slave to capitalism, and thus doesn't have the time (or never learnt the necessary knowledge) to realise what albatrosses and birds in general go through. (Of course, you can't make the connection until you've read the whole poem).
How is it that you can find a perfect cave?
Good Noon, Albatross, drowsy, drowsy Albatross,
If I weren't tired, I'd join you in the spot that you saved.
Here I like very much that you can see a little bit in the personality that the person (in my opinion) is more in the direction of neurotic or shy, that he wants to hide.
How is it that you can befriend the wind?
Good Noon, Albatross, spinning, spinning Albatross,
If we weren't so estranged, I'd fly with you.
I like that you draw a link to evolution here. At least that's how I read it.
How is it that you can find the best fish?
Good Evening, Albatross, graceful, graceful Albatross,
If I weren't full, I'd follow you at your wish.
Here again I read out that the person probably has the urge but to be controlled or at least to have someone he has who will stand by him in any advice.
How is it that your life is so full of time?
Good Night, Albatross, carefree, carefree Albatross,
If I weren't so overworked, I'd live where freedom is not a crime.
I like the contrast between the albatross and the man in this section. Here he sees capitalism as something bad. In general, you always create a great contrast between the albatross and the man, and when he interprets the bird's flights that way, you can understand why he sees it that way.
Sadly, Albatross, my very good friend, Albatross,
I cannot join you while you savor,
Sadly, Albatross, my beautiful beautiful Albatross,
I have been a victim of labor.
I think your graduation is very sad. Maybe too sad to be honest. It seems as if the man is deadly unhappy. Maybe because he doesn't have a plan for the future or doesn't like his job. I like the parallels you draw and yet create a uniqueness between bird and man. A typical example of freedom and yet well woven into this poem.
Have fun writing!
Mailice.
)! Anyway, let's just get right into the review.
Points: 0
Reviews: 1232
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