Her dark curly hair
teased by the slight autumn breeze
shining in coppers and golds and auburns
as the unusual sunshine casts its light
upon her pale, sallow skin.
The reflections of the leaves,
their golden wonder
shining on her chestnut eyes
glowing in the awe of looking
and finally seeing
for the first time.
Her world is awake for once
she's not a zombie
She's Alive.
She can feel the air in her lungs,
the rough feel of bark on her fingertips.
Indian Summer,
a warm autumn
the awakening of a warrior
of a girl who seems meaningless
but could go on to change the world.
Indian Summer,
an autumn of new beginnings
for this one girl breathing sunshine,
this one girl who only ever breathed sorrow
the immortal musings of a life that could be joyful
Not happy, the superficial word for when you're too distracted to be sad.
joyful.
Indian Summer, an autumn of awakening.
of new beginnings.
of breathing sunshine.
of hope.
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140,178 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
There's a lot going on here, and I'm not sure I understand it all. You have a way with words, clearly. There's some amazing imagery in here, for example the first stanza when you describe the different colors- those are all colors one would commonly associate with an Indian summer, a sort of out of season splendor.
Maybe I'm reading into this too much, but I figured that there's something a little dark underlying this poem. It reminds me of a poem by Emily Dickinson under the same name, in which birds come back to take "a backward look." So I feel that the hope this girl is feeling will end in a few days, when autumn sets in. It's as if this girl has been reborn, maybe she just came out of some sickness or some strife that kept her in all summer, and she has a newfound appreciation of the world around her. I feel as if that hope will be broken by whatever long winter is ahead, or by something exterior.
Anyways, excellent imagery. This poem can be read into many ways, but that's the way I saw it. It feels classic and tragic, but has a sort of melancholy, sort of hopeful vibe to it.
whole poem was not clear to me , as what are you trying to say...
its not supposed to be, that's poetry
Nice! Good emotion. Word choice could be better.
Gorgeous imagery. Love, love, love it.
))
However, I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but there a few errors here and there, punctuation-wise. Just an example:
"Her world is awake for once
she's not a zombie
She's Alive.
She can feel the air in her lungs,
the rough feel of bark on her fingertips."
I love this stanza, but here are a few edits you could make:
"Her world is awake for once --
She's not a zombie;
She's alive.
She can feel the air in her lungs,
the rough texture of bark on her fingertips."
Idk just a few little things here and there. But overall, it's beautiful with all the sensory details and such. Really good.
This was TERRIFIC! I just loved it! It was so awesome! You do not analyse such sunlit perfection, you just bask in its warmth and splendour.
This is so refreshing. I normally don't read a lot of poetry, but the title of this caught my eye and I really enjoyed it. Your style is very nice & readable and I like the topic of starting over. I can really relate to this piece a lot! Kudos to you!
Hey! EverWinter here for a review!
This poem was well written! I can tell you spent a lot of time on it. From it, I assume the girl is an Indian. You could use the first part to describe her better, showing really forcefully that she is an Indian. (I did like your beginning, it was just unclear for a while that she was Indian, which is important.)
Next, You switch from focusing on her to the "Indian Summer" which is confusing. Try to relate it back to her more, because you can't just ditch her. She is the hook of the poem!
Lastly, punctuation. Poetry is really hard for me to get punctuation right, but I know that you need to capitalize words that come after a period, especially when it starts a new line.
Otherwise, you're good! You did really good letting the reader visualize what you were writing, which is a very important skill.
Good job!
Ever
Um. This might be able to clear up a lot of confuson. An Indian Summer is an unusually warm autumn XD it wasn't referring to the girl
The title originally reminded me of a favorite song, but this piece has nothing to do with the topic of the song.... Lol
I think this may be your best poetry yet. <3 I love it.