If I Killed Myself Tonight

The first line really grabs the reader's attention right away and I was really intrigued. I personally know what it's like to go through this and I can see these feelings that you portray through words are amazing and true and raw. My favorite line is "Although I feel I'm bound in chains." Because it feels like you want help and you want comfort, but the line before "Just because they're thinking of their lives, their pains and ultimate gains" shows that they have their own lines and why would you want to burden them with you own? It is so short and simple yet shows a deep message that the media refuses to look at. They talk about attempted suicides from jumping off bridges and out of trees but they don't acknowledge the other thousands that die everyday and are struggling in plain sight every day but they are too busy with new, interesting news to stop and slow down. Amazing work!

I really enjoy your poetry and find strength in these words but I just noticed a few things. Your writing, though fantastic, does the same thing as mine. Your poem appears to be lyrical but you are making other ending phrases not rhyme. Please continue to write you're amazing!

The emotion really shines through in this piece. It's scary. I've thought this way before, but not for myself. I thought this way for other people. Okay, maybe I've thought of this once, but not seriously. Anyway. Your writing is so smooth. The format is perfect. The part where it says "I'm so alone, where could they be? The friends who promised to never leave." Is this with your parents? Friends who were sworn to be your friend forever, and then betrayed you? I've felt abandoned before.

After I've read this over a few times, I'm starting to get concerned. The part where it says, "I sit here sobbing, typing words. My cheeks are wet, my eyes are blurred. I'm so alone, where could they be? The friends who promised to never leave," is very emotional. If you've felt this way for real, talk to someone and get help. Please. If this was a poem caused by one event in the heat of anger and sorrow, then I understand. I've done the same.

The rhymes felt natural, instead of forced. You have a way with poems. I can't get it so perfect. I honestly believe everyone's thought this way at least once in your life before you hit 20. (Like i'm there, )

I don't have a single bad thing to say about the poem itself. The drive behind it though... Okay. Please keep writing!

Man, I totally understand everything. Sadly I've been there more than once, and I know people who have been there way more often than me.

I think this is a beautiful poem. I think it captures the mind of a lot of young (and old) people these days. I give it five stars!!

I love it!!

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes, I just want to disappear and wonder if anyone would miss me.

Anyways, this poem was so well written it had a flow and you stuck with it and therefore it was awesome!!!

Sincerely,
FullmetalDragon

P.S.
Love reading your poems.

Hey! Tigerlilly here for a review!

I can relate to this. Often I have wondered what would happen if I were to just end it. I really hope that you don't kill people, because like said in the last paragraph, there are people out there that care for you. They just get so caught up in their own life, and you cant really blame them. They don't always understand, and they get distracted with their own battles.

I also wanted to say that if you are sad, just take a deep breath. Just chill. Surround yourself with people. I was feeling really depressed this morning and I sat with some friends and it really helped me feel better. Just try to be positive

I love this poem and I love the way it flowed together, and the rhymes used were well made, not annoying like some can be. I just really like this, and I hope you keep writing. I look forward to seeing more of your work!

The very concept of being alone leaves people paralyzed. Without anyone around one could easly doubt if they're alive to begin with.

When I read this piece I thought of that feeling you get when you want to cry but you can't, leaving you chocked with tears the refuse to drop. Helplessness.

The piece evolves twoards the question - 'How could I hurt the people I love'. The exsitence of the question within the mind of the speaker shows a battle between love for others, and difficulty to love one self- presented beautifully. The speaker manages to rise above, at least high enough to see the pain of others.

"I feel I'm bound in chains"- This sentence show so much proportion. someone who considers death as a cure to pain could have easly said "I'm bound" Without considering an objective reality that contains other people.

The speaker never decided within the piece. The dillema goes on forever. every morning as we get out of bed and go to work we make a choice- to keep on living even though the question is always out there. I found it simply wonderful that your piece ended on such tone.

I enjoyed it very much- Don't stop writing!

This piece was really well written. I, for one, was able to relate to it a lot and I'm sure many other people will be able to as well. My favorite line is "I sit here sobbing, typing words." It provoked a lot of emotion in me because I could imagine you typing this poem, thinking all these powerful thoughts that are poetry gold, and simply getting them all down through the keyboard and onto a Word Document. Writing in this state of despair and vulnerability creates something beautiful, and this poem is evidence to that. Good job!
-Eva

This poem is very simple, though I think a lot of people feel this way. Not willing to admit that they are upset and depressed, so they'll just hide it all behind a smile. It's a beautiful poem, and I'm not even exaggerating. I like how you capitalized the line that holds the title, showing it as important and very meaningful.
However, I do hope you don't feel this way. I know a friend or two who would probably be able to relate to this and just know people will always be there for you, that someone really does love you and care about you. If you ever need help, I'm here to help.
Maybe this wasn't exactly a review like I meant for it to be, but I thought this poem was pretty darn good. Thank you for sharing it with us!
~Prez. T

Please don't kill yourself. I, for one, would be crying. Because this was a beautiful piece work. I understand the feeling of holding the wieght of the world on my shoulders. I liked the last stanza the most. Keep up the good work (I believe that means you have to be alive)

Looks good so far, I'll be awaiting the rest!