It's funny what you can find
when you're so hungry, you pray your Dad has a snack in his desk.
It's funny how watching a show at midnight in your Dad's office
can be filled with so much drama.
And not from the television.
You open the desk, hunting for chips, water, anything.
And then you find something.
You find something.
And then you sit down, stunned.
Shocked.
Dissapointed.
But you saw it coming.
And then you feel so stupid,
the deleted texts.
The whispered phone calls.
His agitation with your Mom who moved out,
less than a week previously.
What you found was seemingly ordinary,
a woman's blue tank top
you smell the deoderant, the cheap perfume.
And you know it's her,
the woman he was seeing
just a few weeks before your parents broke up.
But how did they break up if there was never a relationship there to begin with?
You look at that tank top,
and even though your father isn't a cheater,
it still stings.
Not because he slept with another woman.
Not because your Mom moved out less than a week before.
But because the man you admired most
is a liar.
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140,186 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
Hi Gravity, Caterpickle here to review this great poem. I'm really glad that you wrote it is such a way that allowed the readers to understand what was going on. Sometimes writers of poetry tend to get a little wordy and complicated, and you were in the perfect middle section that contained a good vocabulary, but a distinguishable message.
I really liked how you started the first two stanzas with "it's funny". It shows a crude kind of humor, and acceptance of this family tragedy. I hope for your sake that this poem doesn't come from experience, because the "cheating" story is always a sad one to tell.
You got some deep emotions into this short poem. The end really got me, when you gave the true and raw reason for this child's inner pain.
Well done with conveying the emotions and the messages within this poem!
~Caterpickle
Dear Gravity,
Good job on this most excellent work of yours! Your descriptions are very vivid, and definitely bring an image into the reader's mind! I am also quite fond of the way you have punctuated this, as most people assume that poetry doesn't need punctuation, when in reality, it can improve the flow of most poems. You have done such a marvelous job here, the only error I can find is that "Dissapointed." is spelled "disappointed". Other than that however, everything here is practically perfect! I love the sense of sadness and longing you have instilled into this work, and I hope to see more of your writings soon!
Sincerely, chhlovebooks
Sad. And bittersweet. It's a poem about disappointment and pain (I think) because of lies and separation. It stings and the tank top is not just an object or a piece of cloth for the speaker.. but it was something else.. it was a sign of betrayal and being fooled for the mother and it was a sign of pain and disappointment for the speaker.. It speaks with a quiet voice of hurting and sadness. But it's a good work, Gravity! If you were the person here, please, don't give up. It might hurt, but there are others who are willing to help you overcome this event in your life. Stay strong and keep writing!