I used to hate Fridays. I used to hate going home on the weekends to my constantly negative mother who lacks compassion and, at 45, cannot lose a single pound. Period. Not to mention my amazing step father who complains, but can never take action for fear of what the beast will unleash. Who wants to be at home knowing they are the only reason their parents are still together? To be around the two adults they're supposed to trust most while knowing that they don't even trust each other?
But I began to like Fridays. Because occasionally at the end of the week, my English teacher gave us ten to fifteen minutes to write. Just write. To write whatever we want. And then after that time was done, she lets us share. So I wrote a short story about one morning waking up to my mother, grumpy and negative as usual. The woman who complained about my father not getting up with me without so much as a "Good morning sweetie.". I woke up to her going on about how my father has been unemployed for a year, because his job had to let him go. That thought hadn't entered my mind. Yet. Not that it wasn't just a matter of time before I eyed the other girls' clothes and brand new supplies before looking at my "el cheapo" binders that were tearing at the seams. Every day I woke up happy to go to school, every day I was reminded of our circumstances, and some days I just didn't want to go home again. That's only the half of it.
So I wrote about waking up like this. And when one boy asked me if this was my life, I was honest. I said yes. And then I continued to read about how I loved school because it was a place to get away. How school was my solace regardless of the people who shot mean comments at me that made them laugh for a minute, but made me cry for days. And coincidentally, one of those people was in my class listening to me read. And I watched the expression on his face change from apathy to discomfort.
I realized the amazing weapon I had discovered. Maybe not a weapon, but a tool. How I could show this person how miserable he made my life at school. How hopeless he made me feel. Because if I can't be happy at home, and I can't be happy at school, what's the point of living? I can make him feel my pain for just one moment and make him regret every rude comment he's ever said to me. I can make him hurt the way kids hurt me ruthlessly for years in elementary school, how fat and ugly they made me feel and how I still feel that way. I can make all of them see it, see the person I am inside for just one moment. And I can show them what they do to me, every time they ridicule me for trying to excel, for being a perfectionist.
Even though this satisfaction is only for a moment, every Friday I pray that Ms. Weycker will give me that 15 minutes and that time to share how I really feel. Sometimes writing really is the best therapy. In my writing I have discovered things about myself that my parents and my school counselors just couldn't figure out. I am strong, I am brave. But most importantly, I am me. And I will not conform just because I make people uncomfortable. The funny thing is? That's probably the most important lesson Ms. Weycker has taught me all semester. And I gauruntee you that will not be on our exam.
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139,539 Literary Works • 672,604 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well..this was quite a heavy story here. Covering some rather sad topics here throughout the thing...but an empowering message to end there...so that was a rather nice ending.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well...that is off to a pretty negative start there. That certainly seems like quite a terrible situation to be in...this paragraph certainly does the job of getting the reader's attention quite well here.
Oooh these circumstances are certainly getting worser by the minute..but I am liking the message here...this seems like a reasonably good way here of venting the kind of frustration and anger and also sadness that will definitely be part of having to live like this.
Well...that is really awesome to read...well sad too, that this sort of situation has to manifest but the bully realizing their mistakes is good to see.
Well...words definitely are a suuper powerful tool, that is for sure....well quite a powerful statement there in that story. Definitely conveying quite a powerful message here for the people that actually go through this kind of situation in real life.
Well that's a fun little touch of irony to end the story...oh well...it does have itself quite a powerful message there and I do like that message.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall I think this was quite an interesting read and I definitely liked it. At any rate, that is all I've gotta say for now.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Great story, but don't take the comments of a-holes at your school too seriously. Keep writing on
.
Hello, sir or ma'am. This is Cryaoticfangirl1367 for a review for you.
To say, this is a interesting story to read during a lovely day. I love what it is going on in this short story. All of things on here are very good. However, I saw some numbers need to be type in words. If you don't know that, it is okay. Also, I want to know that why I saw some present tenses on some sentence even though you are using in past tense. It need a little fix for that.
In conclusion, you did a wonderful job on it. Keep on doing a job work.
-Love, Cryaoticfangirl1367
Timmy here
I am here, and you know that I am always below on that teensy thing on the right-hand side of the page.
I write these reviews not because I think they will help your writing or your literary side of things, but because I think you may like just reading them? I dunno. Maybe I write them simply because it makes me feel better - not you - like for some reason it makes me feel like I have said something that makes a difference. Because there isn't anything I can say really to make this piece better as a literary work, I think. You wrote it well, and I don't like nitpicking pieces written from the heart, anyway. It seems so... heartless, I guess, to tear apart something someone wrote this way. But regardless, even if I wanted to nitpick this for grammar and blah, blah, I think I would be left with little or nothing to say. This piece is well-written. Very well.
Writing is more than a hobby, you're right. It's an amazing tool we can use to captured the minds and hearts of our readers. So when you wrote that piece you talked about, no wonder those people who had bullied you were suddenly a little uncomfortable. Like, perhaps, they truly either felt sorry for what they had done to you or at least felt a smidgeon of compassion for your situation. While smearing stuff in people's faces isn't exactly the best way to go about things (hee-hee), what you wrote was made to be heard by the heart, and everyone's heart heard you when you wrote it. One question: You actually read this out loud to everyone in your class? O.O That probably made that person(s) only more uncomfortable than they already were. Good. Maybe they'll see you have enough things to worry about without them tearing at you.
In all else, Rose, I don't know what to say. Truly. Most of the time when I read your works, I struggle to find enough to say so I can call it a review (because that's just what I write, and no wasting time on comments. Nu-uh), and it's not because you don't give me enough things to comment on or talk to you about, but because it makes me uncomfortable saying anything or offering useless, random advice. The only thing I can give you is assurance. You're not alone, okay?
They do say that "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger", and it's true to a certain extent. But you need time to get past your trials and grow stronger by them, and when you are constantly bombarded, I think the willpower begins to snap and you start throwing your hands up, thinking it will never end. I think writing is your escape to all that, and I'm glad you have it.
Yeah, weird and inaccurate example, but there it is. xD
I don't think there is much of anything, if anything, I can say to add to this. But I will say this: keep going. You are an especially strong person, you know.
And because I am supposed to leave you with a nitpick, just so this can technically be called a review....
I think you should have written these numbers out instead of writing them as you have. So, forty-five instead of 45. You know what I mean.
Comma after morning and I think you shouldn't have the period there because it's just a quote, and the period should only be on the outside - the second one? I dunno for sure. Not usually my thing. So perhaps not.
Anywho, not much more I can say on this piece. Thank you.
~Timothy
Timothy, even if you did nitpick and tear my writing apart, coming from you, it really does mean a lot. And this really did make me feel better. You always do
And yes, I read the short I described (not the one written) aloud to the class. And honestly? They've smeared my flaws in front of my face. And I know revenge isn't the best way, but I thought it was time to smear their flaws in their faces for a sec. Luv ya, bestie 
I like this short story because its feelings and emotions are so strong you can see them flooding out of every single word. Also, as Harshita had said, the grammar seemed to be perfect too.
I liked this part very much.
"So I wrote about waking up like this. And when one boy asked me if this was my life, I was honest. I said yes. ... And coincidentally, one of those people was in my class listening to me read. And I watched the expression on his face change from apathy to discomfort. "
You had managed to use simple languages and short sentences (I was honest. I said yes.) to express your own ideas. It is just what a short story needs. Moreover, the last part of the paragraph you had witnessed how your classmate who had been teasing you realized their fault and your hurt feelings. This is so strong, which, in fact, could apply to your whole story.
Your ending is quite good, although you can consider whether to use an ellipsis for your end to further bring up your emotion, leaving a thoughtful space for your readers to imagine. Nevertheless, the whole story was very well written.
P.S. I do wish the whole story was completely imaginative, but if any part of it is reality, I wish you luck, and remember to write more!
P.P.S. I love this piece!
Hi There.
First of all, I think you just related to 75% of the average teenage population, me being the top of the list. I just finished with school, all those miserable years. I could totally relate to you when you mentioned those jibes and ridiculing comments. So kudos to you for coming out with this so well.
I'm just gonna be honest, I've been on this site for a long time but I have never reviewed a non-fiction work. So this is my first time. If I've done a terrible job, I'm truly sorry.
I couldn't think of anything to point out, no points for improvement. The grammar also seemed to be perfect..
Keep writing!
Harshita
PS. I know this was probably a totally useless review..so I'm just gonna post this as a comment..
wow....
what i just read, its umdescribable, it was amazing, i loved the hole thing, how you wrote, it made me so sad, and what you wrote about it made me sad, i loved it, and i thankyou for writing this. it was amazing, at the start i was reading this to earn points, but man its going to be a comment becasue this is amazing.
wow...
Jack