Mr. Quirk looked around. Again around 50 people were looking down at him. The one nearest to him was — he sprang up hitting the President at his nose. A few of the doctors and nurses rushed to the President with whatever they got near their hands.
“How– how come I am here?” Mr. Quirk forced out the question ignoring the few serious faces looking at him; most of them had turned towards the President whose nose was bleeding.
To his astonishment, the president answered. “Oh! You fainted. I am really sorry for this but as you were not answering the Government officials, we were forced to do this. Tisonts, please take him to the adjacent room,”he said gesturing towards a thin, tall yet handsome man, “I guess we can arrange the meeting there.” .
“But sir your nose—”
“It's an order and you are bound to follow that. No need to worry about my nose.”
A feeling of guilt rushed through Mr.Quirk's blood. He was the only one responsible for this. What seemed stranger was the calmness of the President. Is he really like this? he thought, or he wants something from me? The latter one went perfectly with his view of the political leaders.
Not before he entered the room, did he realize that that was not actually a hospital? The room, he saw, was full of innumerable files.
“Please sit down.” pleaded the President. He sat down, it would be a futile try disobeying the request or rather the order. He was gazing at the president.
“So, I will be asking you a few questions and kindly answer them correctly. Right?”
“Right.”Mr. Quirk said, his heart pounding faster, brain filled with suspicion.
“You know that the country will be facing an attack. Right?”
“Yes, but the way of the attack still lies undiscovered.”
“Yes, our Government spies think that it will not be a military attack because we are much more advanced than them in the field.”
“What kind of attack will it be and what is my role in that?”
“They think that some sort of financial disaster or else some sort of poisonous gas or else we don't know what the thing is called. If the last happens, we will be in hell danger.”
“How can I help in that? I am not a spy”
“We have ransacked our Government records and got something interesting and dangerous and it was invented—” He was interrupted by the panting figure of a man standing at the door. He hurriedly stood up and asked, “What's wrong?”
“Sir–sir the country has probably faced the attack. The administrator wants to have an urgent meeting now,” he told hastily.
End of chapter
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137,484 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
Hey Forever!
RandomTalks here with a review!
This is a good second chapter. I feel like there is a lot more structure to it than the previous. You maintain a pretty fast pace throughout in all your works, but it still feels like you rushed a little here. Mr. Quirk is a hundred year old man who seems to have been kidnapped by the government and can also throw a pretty great punch. This man has already captured my interest but I would like to know more about him - his thoughts, his observation, his life. Maybe we will get more of that in the later chapters.
And the descriptions of course. He seems to be in the government right now, and that there is itself a great chance to get into some descriptions. And I feel like the conversation between the him and the President could use some dialogue tags.
Other than that, the plot itself seems to be interesting. The country is in attack, and I am going to guess that they need Mr. Quirk for something, I think it is for some scientific reason if we take into account the later half of their conversation. Also, he is after all a hundred years old. I am not sure how much he can help in a field!
I liked the cliffhanger at the end. It came out a little sudden but it certainly made things a lot more interesting. I am a little curios about the background though. Why are they in attack?
Looking forward to finding all these answers in the next couple of chapters!
Have a great day!
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayy...not a bad second chapter here, it manages to continue where the other one left off quite well here...and we have yet another cliffhanger there to keep things interesting, at any rate, its a touch fast paced but there's definitely a lot of interesting things happening here and I like it so far.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayy...that was a bit of poor security there on the part of the president, the fact that someone that's standing next to them could just hit him in the face suggest his security isn't very good there. Also...the doctors and nurses kind of seem to appear a bit out of nowhere there...
Oooh...well, Mr. Quirk is certainly quite a character here...I've started to like him here, for a hundred year old person being able to punch someone hard enough to cause a nosebleed means he's gotta have some serious punching power tehre.
Okay..looks like he's not being brought there for any malicious means there...or at least it doesn't appear that way so far...it seems the president was simply forced to take certain measures when Mr. Quirk refused to believe any of the government officials.
Hmm, considering how nice the president is being to him at the moment, I would definitely think the second one is true there, no one treats you quite that nicely after a punch to the face unless they want something...xD. At any rate, I love the thoughts here...you can see him reacting to the situation with some pretty good logic.
Okay...well, that's certainly an interesting sounding room there, the description is a tiny bit more sparse than I would like because we don't quite get the sense of its scale of where people are relative to the other, but I'd say its passable for now.
Hmm...being suspicious is definitely the way to be in a situation like that one there...although it looks like the president is being pretty legit so far.
Hmm..a reference back to that attack I see...well...this is sure to be a pretty interesting conversation here if that's what these folks are going to be talking about here.
A little bit of overconfidence there by the president...I'd expect him to be a little more cautious before throwing around that their absolutely sure it won't be a military attack...he should probably have at least some measure in place for that.
Poisonous gas and financial disasters are definitely very different but equally deadly things there...so that third option definitely makes me quite curious to see what could be going on here.
Ooooh...another neat little cliffhanger there I see...well, this is shaping up to be quite interesting, especially the detail about some form of invention there...I've got a feeling that's something capable of quite some damage.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, pretty exciting things being discussed here in this chapter, hinting at some potentially crazy weapons of mass destruction and those are always fun to read about. I think I will go ahead and take a peek at Chapter 3 too here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey! Thanks a lot and it was as useful as your reviews always are!%u263A%uFE0F
You're Welcome
Glad you found it useful!!
Hi foreveryoung299,
But it's a good cliffhanger.
Mailice here with a short review!
I didn't think the story would go any further now. It was a good continuation from the first chapter and I see that you have developed a great structure to get the plot going. However, there are still some moments where I think you are in too much of a hurry and the reader doesn't always keep up. (Examples below.) I like how everything develops and it seems as if Mr. Quirk is not wanted for a crime, but for an invention. I'm very curious to find out what that could be. Too bad the President was interrupted.
Some points I found while reading:
Your first paragraph brings some questions with it. Your descriptions are a little short here and do not help to save the reader's confusion.
You started your sentence with an answer from the President, but at the end you´re adding a “he said”. I would stay with one description of speech (answered / said) or putting a description in between. Since he´s first speaking with Mr. Quirk and then speaking with the Tisonts, you could add there a sentence, that for example the President is approaching the Tisonts and continues his speech.
Since it´s a thought that Mr. Quirk is thinking, you should remove the question mark and add a comma and probably also putting it into italic. And in the second half there is a “does” missing between “or” and “he want”.
Your first sentence here seems a bit off. I would rephrase it to give it more structure like: “Even before he entered the room he realized, that it was not actually a hospital.”
Two other things I noticed while reading, where that the spelling of the word “President” is inconsistent. You should stay with one style, probably writing it with a capital P. One other thing was during the ending. Your dialogue gains there a bit of dynamic, but it is to fast for a reader without the necessary information who´s speaking. I would try to add sometimes a “said Mr. Quirk” or “said the President.”
It was a bit of a dizzy chapter, but I think I can make now a bit of a picture about the plot and how everything is going to progress.
Have fun writing!
Mailice