The Terrible Youth of Freznel: 27

by Eros

Published June 12, 2016

16+ Mature Content

In The Terrible Youth Of Freznel

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

        Chapter 27: The beach

Freznel was sitting down on the dusty floor in the same position, back tied to the pillar and legs stretched free. She glanced at the clock. It was four o' clock in the afternoon. It was a clear weather outside, cool and soothing.

The wooden door opened with a loud bang. She was scared at the sudden noise, which made her blood pressure rise and then it slowly calmed down. Erwin entered through the open door.

She turned her head away. 

"Take care of your attitude...", said Erwin.

"Huh.", uttered Freznel.

Erwin opened the chains of Freznel and asked her to stand up. She refused.

Erwin turned around. Within a second, he again turned to Freznel and swiftly removed the gun.

She was afraid of the gun and Erwin. She quickly stood up. It was all out of fright.

Erwin grabbed her by her hand and said, "Baby, I'm taking you to the beach for a date. So... just have a shower and get ready". She was given a short aqua blue frock with small white dots on it. 

She had a shower and came out wearing the aqua blue frock. She was looking so beautiful... so beautiful, as if the water fairy has arrived on Earth.

"Good." said Erwin.

He handcuffed Freznel with the iron shackles. He blindfolded her with a black cloth.

She said nothing. Erwin led her outside the lonely and shabby house and towards the beach.

When they reached the beach, Erwin stripped off the black cloth which covered her lotus eyes. 

Freznel gazed at her surroundings. The swishing sound of the air, the rocks and the splashing of water against it, the cool breeze, the crystal clear water, everything. She could actually see the scenario, the noises of which she had only heard till now. 

Erwin moved from Freznel's side and came in front of her. He rested his chocolate brown hands on Freznel's shoulders.

Freznel looked down at the shining golden sand.

"Baby, come with me." said Ewin. He took her to the changing room which was built a little away from the beach. He gave her another dress to wear.

She was about to say something but stopped herself when she saw the black gun stuck inside the belt of Erwin's pants.

It'd be better for me to stay quiet...otherwise---

"What are you thinking, my lovely lady?" said Erwin.

Freznel shook her head.

"Have you resolved that you won't talk with me today?" asked Erwin getting impatient.

Yes... she thought.

"Listen, I don't care whether you talk with me or not. I will do whatever I want and nothing can stop me.", he declared.

She took the plastic bag from Erwin's hand and went into the changing room.

"Aaaahh! Sexy lady on floor!" Erwin exclaimed as soon as Freznel arrived wearing the pink bikini she was given.

She was not at all ready to entertain Erwin's nonsense actions. But she had no option.

Erwin walked up to her. He moved his long slender fingers delicately on the streamline waist of Freznel. 

He took a position by her side. Placing his one hand around Freznel's fair neck, he started to walk towards the shore. Freznel had no choice but to walk with him. 

"You know, Freznel. I always loved you. But when I saw that  you are getting attatched to that Marldon, that evil dog---"

"Don't dare to call him anything!", Freznel pushed Erwin away, "He is my life, he is my entire world." 

Erwin grew angry. He shouted, "O just shut up, Freznel. I have been tolerating your attitude since a long time. If you don't want my animal instinct to rise up, just keep quiet and listen to me!"

She was scared from the loud voice for a moment but again returned to the normal state. She sighed.

Erwin again occupied the same position, his hands around her neck. They resumed their slow walk towards the shore. He went on in a soft voice, "Freznel, I have always loved you. But I knew that weren't into me, and I know you still aren't. So, I kidnapped you. You are my dream girl... though I know, I am not your dream boy. I am not fond of threatening you with the gun, but my anger compells me to force you because you would never agree to be mine. My anger can force me to do anything...even a murder."

Feznel was constantly feeling the terror creeping in her body as she kept on realizing that she is walking with such a dangerous man.

They reached the border of the shore. Erwin stopped making Freznel to stop too. He stood facing Freznel. He ran his hand through the soft silk strands of Freznel's blonde hair which bounced over her shoulders. The chocolate skin of Erwin's hand glided down the fair skin of Freznel's upper arm. He rubbed her hand gently. 

"Come, my beautiful lady... let our bodies feel the cold water."

They both stepped in the clear water. The tiny whirls in the water massaged their feet. 

Erwin lightly pushed Freznel on the border of the shore. She fell down softly on her back. Erwin laid down on the sand beside Freznel. He rolled closer towards her. He rose up a little and pushed Freznel's hands down on the sand. He went so close to her that she could not see anything except Erwin's face. Erwin's brown body over Freznel's snow-white fair skin... it looked like a vanilla ice cream with chocolate toppings, though the chocolate was an evil one.

Erwin grey eyes were lost in Freznel's hazel eyes. Freznel closed her eyes quickly. She didn't want to match eyes with this demonish human.

Erwin kissed Freznel desparately. There was not an inch's space between the two.

Suddenly a male voice came, "Stay away, Erwin!" 

Freznel was delightd to hear the voice. She sighed and thought, Thank God! Someone has come to save me!!

Erwin stopped the kiss and looked around to see who it was.

Comments & reviews · 2
Myteacherforcedmeto wrote a review Review · Jun 13, 2016

so this has defiantly caught my attention. I know this is a prologue but I don't know ow I feel about how it written with the you's and I's. I do like it know that I think about it. It has an interesting feel. Almost eerie like how this is. Um so I have no idea what's going on but I fell there may be experiments that will take place or have taken place and that is interesting.

There wasn't much wrong with this that I can see. Yeah your grammar was good and spelling was fine. Nothing wrong or our of the ordinary that I could see. Um if you do write more on this let me know because I would be very interested to read it and see where this goes. Well have a keep writing and have a nice night

Eros replied · Jun 13, 2016

Thank you for the review! I have released the next part too. But before that, you may have a look at the previous chapters for a better understanding... I am sure you will enjoy the novel. There is action, romance, and mysteries in the previous chapters. xD

User avatar
Elijah
Review
Elijah wrote a review Review · Jun 12, 2016

King Here

Hello there. I am pretty glad to see the next chapter already! I an really curious. Who is actually going to save her? I hope it is the one she loves the most but I am not so sure. Anyways, good job with this chapter also. Hope to see more sooner or later. I expect a lots. Now, to the small edits that I think may be done over this work.

She was scared at the sudden noise, which made her her blood pressure rise and then it slowly calmed down.


You had written 'her' twice. Remove the second one.

"Baby, I'm taking you to the beach for a date. So... just have a shower and get ready.


You need a quote mark after the end here. You do not have it in the text. ( " )

He rested his chocolate brown hands on Freznel's shoulder's.


'shoulders' it is there.

She was about to say something, but stopped herself when she saw the black gun stuck inside the belt of Erwin's pants.


You can not have comma here because of the order of the parts of the sentence. You can not have comma because it is independent sentence + dependent one.

Erwin walked upto her.


'up to'.

She was scared from the loud voice for a moment, but again returned to the normal state.


Again, no comma here.



That is all from me for this part. Keep on writing.

Eros replied · Jun 12, 2016

Thanks. Well, how can Marldon come and save her? His murder itself is a mystery for the CID...
I hope you enjoy the next parts too...
I wanna read the next part of your novel too. I am just dieing out of curiosity!!!

Eros replied · Jun 12, 2016

OMG!! 20th part out!! You are like a silent bomb. And a change in name of the novel... Nicee name this one too. :)



If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
— Lemony Snicket