Freznel reached the Town Hall building by her rich-black coloured scooty at half past 9. She took 15 minutes to search the Fraunhoffer Fashion House. She re-set her clutched hair by glancing at the side view mirror. She was in tension but her confidence killed her nervousness about the interview.
Knock knock...
" Come in, please " said the voice.
The translucent, glass door opened and Freznel walked in, humbly but stylishly. Her walking style impressed the manager who sat in awe. Freznel's beauty somewhat affected his heart.
" Goodmorning, sir! " greeted Freznel.
" Goodmorning miss-- "
" Miss Freznel ", she introduced herself.
" Miss Freznel... Please have a seat. " , offered the manager who was sitting on the black chair, which seemed as comfortable and as cozy as a cushion. He was dressed in a dark blue coat, which seemed so light in weight. On the left near the heart, the coat had a crystal clear, silvery badge which said, " Mast. Marldon McCarty ", with " Manager " written below the name. The badge reflected the light of the bright tubelight, proudly. 'Mast '! Oh, he was a young bachelor!
Freznel sat down and put her biodata on the transparent, glass table, beside the ivory - coloured pen stand. The smooth texture of the pen stand screamed about how costly it was. Above the biodata there laid her decorated portfolio.
Showing them to manager, Freznel said, " Sir, here is my portfolio and biodata... you may have a look."
The manager rolled his deep, blue, ocean - like eyes on the sketches and the biodata, and immidiately developed a good impression of Freznel. Meanwhile, Freznel gazed at the manager's personality and wondered that a guy could have such an immense beauty too. She could see the folds on his light - weighted coat in the shape of the rippling muscles of his chest, that seemed to form the six packs under the clothings.
The manager interrupted, " These are awesome, Miss Freznel..."
" Thank you, sir ", replied Freznel while her fair hands recieved her documents from the baby- like, soft, pink hands of the manager. She was startled by the rosy complexion of this handsome manager.
Freznel had a sip of chilled water from the porcelain glass before the interview began.
" So, Miss Freznel, do you know which is the leading fashion house in this city?" asked the manager.
" Yes, Sir. It is the Young's Fashionista which is at the first place, and yours is at the second currently. Last month's record says that Fraunhoffer Fashion House was at the first place. But the new fashionable dress created by Lady Jigstansta, the leading designer of Young's Fashionata, led it to spring up at the first place"
" Hmm... you are quite aware of the fashion world miss ", said the manager with a tone full of amazement.
Freznel smiled some, and blushed some.
" And what accessories and dresses are going crazy among the people? "
" Sir, the latest style of wearing loose watches which rolls on the wrist when wearing jeans, and while wearing the balloon dresses, a net hairband worn on hair, are going too crazy around the citizens. Silk evening gowns are crazy for the party wears too. In men, the jeans with a dusted coloured patch are famous. According to the Survey of 2016, the fiery orange coloured dresses are popular among the young, gorgeous ladies of our city."
" You are well related with our city, Freznel ". A smile spread on the cheeks of the manager---the fair cheeks which were pale green coloured because of the shaving he did that morning.
Freznel smiled back with a shine of smartness in her hazel eyes.
The manager didn't wished to ask more as he understood that Freznel was very well aware of everything.
" Please fill in the form at the counter and you will recieve the results within four - five days on your address."
" Yes, sir... May I leave? "
" Yes, you may "
" Thank you, sir ". She stood up and politely left the air conditioned cabin, again in the same style of walking, humble and stylish. She softly closed the door behind her.
Freznel filled the form and submitted it at the counter before she stepped out of the Fraunhoffer Fashion House. She heaved a deep sigh of releif as she turned on the key of her scooty.
End of chapter
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140,793 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Chapter 2........one word, Beautiful. I loved Frenzel air of confidence when she walked in the building. She most defiantly a show stopper, and the manager knows. Lol, it would be ironically, yet funny if she don't get the job though, but that's just a mean twisted and not everyone thinks like me. But overall you wrote clear and beautiful. I loved it, and I cannot wait to read more. I am still waiting on the terrible part, but I guess that's why I am continuously reading. Thanks again for posting such a tasteful chapter and here's to chapter 3. I cant wait to read.
-reviewed by your friend Kwanza
Oh, thank you so much, my friend! I am glad that you liked it. The terrible would be somewhere around the chapter 17th... But the ending is happy one. Hope you enjoy the read!
Hey. AnarchyWolf here to review.
I wanted to come back and see what the beginning of this story was like, so here I am.
I liked this short little chapter. It does quite a bit to set up the story, and it helped me to understand the later chapter that I reviewed quite a lot. Now I've read that chapter and this chapter, I can see how the strings pull together to form the story, which is an important part of any story.
Secondly, what you could improve. Quick question - why is your dialogue in italics?
"...half past 9. She took 15..."
Write numbers out in full when writing fiction. When writing essays, however, it's okay to leave them in.
"...humbly but stylishly..."
Show, don't tell. Show us that her walk was humble, by perhaps a slight hunching of the shoulders or refusal to make eye contact or small movements, and show that despite that it was stylish, liken her to a model or a cat or something elegant.
"Freznel's beauty somewhat affected his heart..."
If Freznel is the POV character, then this shouldn't be here. If she's the POV character, we see into her head and her head only. Say this by having Freznel notice something rather than telling us what's in his head.
"... ivory - coloured..."
Ivory-coloured.
"... ocean - like ..."
Ocean-like
"...Freznel gazed at the manager's personality..."
Sorry, Freznel. You can't see personality. Also, you've just met. You don't know him properly. Calm your hormones.
"... light - weighted ...[b]
Light-weighted
[b]"... These are awesome..."
'Awesome' isn't a professional word. Try 'amazing' or 'inspiring' or 'remarkable'.
" Hmm... you are quite aware of the fashion world miss ","
"Hmm... You are quite aware of the fashion world, miss,"
I'm not quite sure that it's the fashion 'world' exactly. More like the fashion of that town.
"The manager didn't wished to ask more..."
We shouldn't know this. It's Freznel who's the POV character, not the manager.
"...same style of walking, humble and stylish..."
We've had the description before - we don't need it again. Just say something like 'she stood up and politely left the air conditioned cabin, again in that same trademark walk,'
The major problem here is your grasp on Point of View. If Freznel is the POV character, we can only see into her mind and her thoughts. We can only know what she knows. We shouldn't be getting thoughts or facts from other characters like we did from the manager in this chapter. Despite this, it was generally well-written, although some character flaws wouldn't go amiss.
-AnarchyWolf
Thank you so much, AnarchyWolf! I will edit this and surely try to improve it. Thank you so much!
You're welcome
-AnarchyWolf
I had read and reviewed the previous part and I was surprised to see you had already released even more. I have no time right now to review and read the fifth part but I will do it sooner or later. I really love the way you described her manager and her kind of an attack to him. Maybe there will be something between them both? Who knows. Kind of curious I am. But I feel like she likes him and he likes herx at least a bit? Heh, anyways, I did not find anything wrong. I hope this manager gets along with the main female chara and she works for him. At least he looked impressed. It will be interesting to see what may happen between them at work. So for the thing I want to complain about which is only one but on several places.
You need comma before each 'sir'.
You need comma before 'Sir' also not only after it.
This is all. Keep on writing and I wish you luck.
Thank you sooo very much, GreatKing!!
I hope you will find the next parts even more interesting. I have the 7th chapter also ready. I'll publish it soon. I will try my best to minimize such mistakes in every part of the novel. Thank you for the corrections. 
You are absolutely correct about the manager liking her and she liking him. But it will take turns. I hope you enjoy the next parts.
You are welcome. Good luck.