Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
A big white Sumo car arrived at the crime scene. A short statured man around 50 years of age dressed in black suit came out of the car. Behind him, three dashing figures came out--two men, and one lady. The car was of C.I.D.---Crime Investigation department.
" Where is the body? " Mast. Hell, the C.I.D inspector, said.
" Sir, it is inside the house. " answered Zanjeer.
" Did you touch anything? " questioned Volhard, the gorgeous thin lady C.I.D. inspector.
" No, ma'am---except the door knobs." replied Zanjeer.
Volhard nodded. Her short brown pony tail made a swing with the nod.
" All of you wait here. Nobody will leave. We are going inside. " said Zelinsky, the hefty bodied C.I.D inspector.
The senior, short, old man was A.C.P.---Assistant Commisioner of Police. A.C.P. is a post higer than the C.I.D inspectors. Cannizaro was his name. His name was an alarm of terror to the criminals and the title of C.I.D. was a warning of danger.
The inspectors and the A.C.P. put on their gloves as their shoes made tapping sound on the floor when they walked towards the door of the house. A.C.P. Cannizaro was first followed by Hell on the right, Volhard in the middle and Zelinsky on the left. Hell was also short, but he was taller than Cannizaro.
Cannizaro opened the door, taking care not to touch the fingerprints which might be there on the door handle.
As soon as they entered, the bloody odour met their noses. They put on their clean, white, spotless masks immediately.
" It seems as if someone had been struggling hard to get free from the killer. " said Volhard as she walked near the table with books spread unevenly on it.
" First, let's see the body and then we'll continue the investigation. " commanded Cannizaro.
" Yes, sir... "
All of them walked towards the bedroom.
" He has lost too much blood! " said Hell, raising up his unibrow in amazement.
They crossed the river of blood avoiding stepping on it and went near the body.
The body was lying on his back, chest up, and one hand on his chest, the other hand and legs spread out.
" Oh my god! How brutally he is murdered! " exclaimed Volhard.
They saw the face marred with knife stabs. The skin of the face was torn open. The flesh was blackened due to exposal to the air.
" The chest is still wet and bleeding. ", said Zelinsky. " Perhaps, the murder has occured only recently. " he continued.
" He is dead. " said Volhard as she touched the injured throat of the body.
There were stabs on the left of his chest, just above the heart. There were stabs on his abdomen just above the intestines. There were stabs on his stomach. There were stabs on his throat also.
They turned the body to it's back.
" There is no gun used. " said Zelinsky as he moved his fair hand on the back of the corpse, feeling the body if there was anything sticking to it.
There were stabs on his upper back. There were stabs in the centre. There were stabs on the lower back. There were stabs near the kidney. Everywhere cuts, wounds and flesh torn open . It was a wild murder.
" Stabs, stabs everywhere, not a single place left!! How much anger must be flowing in the nerves of the killer?!! " spoke Volhard.
Hell clicked the photographs. Volhard collected sample of blood. She put the broken flower pot in the transparent plastic bag with EVIDENCE printed in red font on it.
Cannizaro made arrangements to take the body to Dr. Ozonolysis in the forensic lab.
Zelinsky sprayed powder on the handles of the bedroom door and the main entrance door to make the finger prints visible. He collected the samples.
The position of the dead body was outlined. The ambulance arrived and the body was taken to the lab.
A yellow strip of satin cloth with " CRIME SCENE. DO NOT ENTER. " printed on it was hung around the place. The C.ID. team went outside into the garden.
Zelinsky waved the photograph in air, showing it to the the neighbours and Zanjeer. He and addressed them in his usual deep, strong voice, " The face of the body is completely destroyed. I don't think that anyone would be able to identify it. "
Everybody nodded in agreement.
" We are leaving. Our investigation is on, and nobody will leave the town till the murderer gets caught.", warned Hell.
" Okay, sir... We will abide by the statement."
The white Sumo car left speedily making the dust fly off in the air.
Read to know more...
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
Hey there! Happy Review Day!!! ^_^
I haven't read previous parts, so hopefully this will go alright! I'm interested to see who wanted to kill this guy SO badly. That certainly WAS a lot of stab wounds.
Quick, do CPR! In all seriousness though, if the body is still "bleeding" you would still be trying to save them. The fact that there is no pulse means nothing but "start CPR are faster!" You'd also do your best to stop the bleeding or control it so that you doing CPR isn't just pumping the blood out! But yeah, I feel like those folks didn't do all they could to save him!
You actually basically said this already in a line previous to this. We don't need to here about all the stab wounds again- once is enough for us to know! c:
Ambulances don't remove bodies. If they were trying to bring him back to life, than yes, they'd take him, and then if he was deemed gone whilst in the ambulance, than they'd continue to take him... but they don't transport dead people- their job is to keep people alive, not remove bodies. Body removal is the coroner's responsibility- whether he picks up the body or sends someone to (I JUST went through a course where we were talking about the coroner's act with the local police officer XP).
I'm a little confused about this chapter. This kind of feels like a first chapter in the sense where something horrible JUST happened and now they have to figure out what happened... but the title says this is chapter nineteen! I feel like by now we'd be pretty deep into the story and we'd have a better feel for the characters. There was a lot of characters in here and all of them seemed very similar! Make your characters memorable- honestly characters are what most people read for. If the characters are interesting and entertaining, we'll follow them through hell and damnation! So really try to focus on your characters and their individual personalities. Let us inside their heads once in awhile, too!
Anyway, you seem to have a lovely mystery novel in the works! I hope this was somewhat helpful! Keep it up!!! ^_^
-Socks
Hmm...I wasn't knowing about the CPR and the Coroners thingies...but, yes, I will just edit these things. And...yes, the characters. The characters here are all tall and look almost similar. I'll also try to add more clarity and make them more distinct...
Thank you so much for the review, friend! It definitely helped me.
Hello there, Eros! I like this part...so unfortunate that we can not know whose body is the murdered one in her house. Anyways, this part was full of mystery and kinda the horror which is totally my type of a writing. I like the way you had ended it with them just speedily riding away from the crime scene. This whole part was around the murder and I have no ideas who it could be the one who is the murderer. It is full with questions. Good that you had showed us a bit of each of the team's members. I hope you release the next part soon and it is even better than this one!
Now, some edits.
I think you had forgotten to write 'said' after 'inspector'.
Do not forget the verbs. You need comma before 'said' also.
Mast. Hell, the C.I.D inspector, said.
'was in front' can not be used this way.
Maybe 'was in front of everyone else' or 'he was the one who walked in first' so you show us he is the one in front of every else and first in the house.
A.C.P. Cannizaro was first, followed by Hell on the right, Volhard in the middle and ... or something like this. If not this way, you could say 'at the front' instead of 'in front'. This is just a small mistake.
You need a comma before 'taking'.
'taking care of not disturbing the fingerprints'.
Are the fingerprints people who you do not want to disturb?
It needs to be 'taking care not to' instead of 'taking care of not..'
I would prefer the verb 'touch' or something like that instead of 'disturb'.
One comma before 'let's'.
He has lost too much blood! or He was lost too big amount of blood! You decide.
'apread' is actually 'spread'.
I think you need a question mark here.
I think it needs to be 'a sample' because we do not talk about a thing we had talked about in the previous sentence. It is something we say and tell the readers for the first time. There is no one specific sample. It can be from his wound, from his arm, from his leg. So, if you want to say 'the', tell us from where is this specific sample. From the floor? You can put nothing in front of sample, also.
You do not need the comma before 'and Zanjeer'.
'We are leaving' kind of sounds better but this is optional. At least say where they are going to? Also, in the part of yours the quote mark is the first thing on the next row. As you can not start with a comma, you can not start with an ".
Overall, good job!
Hmm... So, that's the thing. I understood how the meaning changes from 'going' to 'leaving'. They mean the same in action, but while talking they make a little bit of different sense. I have now started to see each English by converting it to it's actual meaning in my mother tongue.
Also, going is used with the destination and leaving is used with the place from where the journey begins.
Thank you so much for the review! xD
Hmm... So, that's the thing. I understood how the meaning changes from 'going' to 'leaving'. They mean the same in action, but while talking they make a little bit of different sense. I have now started to see each English by converting it to it's actual meaning in my mother tongue.
Also, going is used with the destination and leaving is used with the place from where the journey begins.
Thank you so much for the review! xD
Welcome. XD