Hi again! This will be my tenth review to become a knight of the green room! Woop!
This was certainly an interesting chapter! I'm actually really concerned for Freznel; I think this guy is going to be ANYTHING but harmless!
Speaking of him, I love the chat bubbles. They're amazing and add as cuteness to the story - you know, just that extra little oomf! This chapter was really exciting and definitely sets up the context for the next chapter, which I am very thrilled about. I can't wait to get to know more about this certain Erwin guy.
The part where Freznel decides to accept the guy or not was a bit.. hm, weird? I'm not sure what I would call it. It just doesn't seem very realistic. I'm not sure how old Freznel is, but she has a job, which would make it seem like she's responsible enough and wouldn't have to resort to a newspaper article about Facebook friends. I feel like it was also used as a bit of foreshadowing and to tell the readers ALERT ALERT ERWIN IS A BAD GUY, and in that case it does feel a little much. Foreshadowing should be sneaky and very subtle, but this feels a bit more prominent.
That's about all I have to say for this chapter! I like how Freznel and Marldon's relationship is expanding farther and I wonder how Erwin will affect this.
Keep writing!
~ EternalRain
Points: 69427
Reviews: 456
Donate