My Dream

Hello!
I know how you feel! I hate that about dreaming, you can (normally) never, EVER remember them when you wake up! Though sometimes, I do have reoccurring dreams... As for the poem, it's wonderful! I couldn't find anything to correct in it! Great job, and keep writing!
~Snazzy
Stay Awesome

Hi writer,
I would just like to point out that this poem is fantastic. However, there a few things i would like to say. One, This poem is a bit repetitive. I would love it if you'd use different lines for each stanza. Now, i'm not saying this is a bad poem, i'm just saying that it could use some working on. That's pretty much the only negative thing i had to offer.

I do like your rhythm though. the words are lovely. You really made me think of the dream you had whenever. It's really a beautiful piece of work. But, like i said, it could use some work. I would love to see more poetry from you. Have a wonderful day.

Hi!-
This is a great poem! I’ll review stanzas that I thought needed some work or were just really pretty.

“I had a dream
In which I saw
Someone speaking
Without sound.”

I’m not sure why, but this is just really beautiful. It has a meaning and symbolizes something within the fact that it was a dream.

“It told me that
I'd never know
That I ever saw him
After I had slept.”

Just a suggestion. Don’t use ‘it’ if you’re going to use ‘him’ later. Maybe use ‘they’ instead of ‘it’?

I wondered
What he meant
Until I snapped
Awake.

Maybe use a word in front of ‘awake’? It doesn’t match with the rest of the stanzas alone.



Who was I thinking about?
What did he say?
What did I do?
Was it a dream?

Maybe you shouldn’t use a question starting with ‘what’ twice. Try ‘where’ or ‘when’ instead, or something else.

Overall this is very pretty. Keep up the good work!

-Aqua

Overall, this is a very good poem. For the most part, the fluency is pretty good. The stanzas are very clear. The punctuation was constant, which is very good.

I feel like it had a deeper meaning than remembering dreams, if i am not mistaken. This is the message that i got from this:

Happiness is one of the best experiences in life. Happiness, however, never lasts. As you try to hold onto it, it fades away until all that is left are a few vague memories.

"Was it a dream
In which I saw
So many things
I'll never know again?"

I 3/4 of this stanza. It's hard to explain, but i feel like the last line just didn't belong. I feel like it wasn't a very good way to close the poem. If i were you, i would change that line, but keep the rest of the stanza how it is if possible.

"I had a dream
In which I saw
Someone speaking
Without sound"

I think that you could change that last line there. I personally would've said something more along the lines of "without making a sound." I feel that adding that bit of extra length would play well into the fluency of it all.

"It told me that"

You refer this person or thing as both him and it. Try to keep consistent.

"Until I snapped
Awake."

I personally would add an adverb to make that last line a bit longer. It is the only one word line in the poem, and I think that it would be better if it wasn't only a word.

Please don't take any of this in a bad way. This is my opinion, so if you don't agree, you don't need to listen to these. It's your poem and not anyone else's. I hope that you find this to be helpful! If you have any questions, just let me know!