She walks along with a bowed head
into her room and onto her bed.
Bitter and sour tears are shed
and nothing defies that dripping red.
~
The distant sound of a lark's cry
echoes against the dark sky.
Its bittersweet song drowns out her sigh
But nothing drowns out the tears in her eyes.
~
She doesn't know that it's a lie:
"She's not pretty, she deserves to cry."
Nobody wants to see her die
but that's what she wants to try.
~
Nobody knows the pain she must bear,
and nobody seems to give any care.
They say she'll never be an extraordinaire,
but as they say that one sound is there -
~
A Lark's Cry
This isn't my best, just something I came up with in my typing class. I couldn't quite remember it very well, so it's been modified from the original version. If necessary, you have right to tear it apart!
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140,548 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Oooooh. Shivers. This is stunning.
AAAA rhyming patterns always seem almost childish, but you do it so well that it has the opposite result. As for the rhythm, however, I think it can be improved by the rhyme sounds you use.
First Stanza:head bed shed red. Second and third Stanza: cry sky sigh eyes. Fourth: bear care extraordinaire there.
I think the last stanza throws it off a little, and as a whole, I think that taking away the last ˜ make the last stanza flow.
But my word. This creates so many questions for me, and I love it. What made you think of a Lark's cry specifically?
Thanks for sharing!
*thegreyreality
Thanks! I think I'll try a bit do to what I can to alter that one stanza because I like that one
I won't throw it out entirely, but I'll see what I can do to fix that flow. I knew it was really choppy, but I found no way to edit it... but I made this at around midnight so maybe I can edit it while I'm fully awake 
This is beautiful.
Have you ever tried experimenting with the rhythm of your words? It's difficult to make a consistent rhythm, but if you can do that, it makes a poem feel, in my opinion, pulled together very well and it just flows very nicely.
My only suggestion comes from your last stanza; I didn't understand the final line, which is a pretty important thing. "As they say that one sound is there". What one sound? Apparently I don't know what it is that "they" say.
Anyway, for not remembering it very well, you did a fantastic job. I can really relate to this poem, especially the implication of self-injury, as that is something that I have struggled with throughout my life.
Keep writing!
Thank you so much! I'll tweak it a bit
And that line means as they say that she'll never be extraordinary, one sound is there in the air - then read the very last words for emphasis 
hey Em101cats
firstly I totally loved your poem. it was simple and to the point
The rhyming scheme was good
the inner meaning of the third stanza just rocked and blew my mind
the way you have written doesn't actually seem like you just came up with it suddenly
It had so much emotions and feeling in it
once again I just loved it
Thank you so much, I really enjoy getting nice comments
you are welcome
WOW!!! That was really great! I loved the rhyming, I don't know how people can rhyme so well. But anyway, the story was very interesting and I wanted to keep reading. I have never read any of your other work (I kind of just joined...
), but I think that I will surly check out some of your other stuff! KEEP WRITING!!!!!
Thanks so much! And welcome to YWS! If you need anything, feel free to ask me! I'd be glad to help
Hey, Weymouth here to review
DDDDD
First off, OH MY GOD I LOVE IT
This poem was short, to the point, and goddamn effective. I love the AAAA rhyme scheme, it's difficult to do without seeming to eager to slot in any word that rhymes, and you nailed it. Hats off
My favourite stanza is by far the second one, just for these lines: "Its bittersweet song drowns out her sigh but nothing drowns out the tears in her eyes." The solid emotion and empathy in these lines just blows me away, because I know exactly what you're talking about XD (plus I just love the word 'bittersweet', it's perfect for so many situations! )
I think that it's great that you just came out with this, and there was no planning or agonising over particular words, I hate that, I always write on impulse and from the heart because true poetry is supposed to be straight from the author's heart to the reader's heart, which is why it's such a beautiful form of writing.
The only minuscule problem I have with this masterpiece is the second line of the last stanza: "and nobody seems to give any care." this seems a bit jumbled, and throws off the rhythm a bit for me, what I would have put is "and nobody seems to really care." Only a suggestion, the poem is still absolutely brilliant without it
Keep writing, this was just as brilliant as all your other work
Your loyal reviewer,
Weymouth
Thank you so much! Reviews like this mean a lot to me. I'm glad you liked it!