For far too long I have lived my life in darkness.
I’ve waded my way through clouded, gray days
and long black nights. the stars and the glint of the moon
has its own sort of beauty, that’s true. Of late, I’ve come to
see these particular canvases for what they are,
flecks of beauty, of hope, of a respite from my mundane existence
always out of reach.
When what I want most of all is to feel the sun,
not just for a passing moment, but forever.
It will shine on me again, they say.
In the meantime I don’t know how much more of it I can bear,
For I am so cold without its embrace.
And yet,
If I ever tire of the stars I remind myself
that there are nights where I cannot see them and I know
that their absence is always worse.
If I ever tire of the clouds
I remember the summer when I was a girl and there was no rain.
The grass grew brown and trees shriveled up
in its absence and I longed for the cool touch of the clouds
to give us some relief.
I must remind myself that I’ve felt the sun before,
not just for short bursts, false starts or teases, but truly,
deeply felt it.
The last time was probably the most most pleasant and comforting,
for it was the one times I can truly say that all felt right in the world
And I felt like I belonged somewhere and to something.
(I can count such times in my entire life on one hand)
Yet I recall that it was close to night and
I watched as light became dark in the blink of an eye.
I don’t know why life has to be this way and why the golden rays of sun
can never be long for this world.
Yet, if I felt it again, I must once more.
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hi there Elinor
1. What did i like the most in the poem Elinor is that For far too long I have lived my life in darkness.
I’ve waded my way through clouded, gray days
and long black nights. the stars and the glint of the moon
has its own sort of beauty, that’s true. Of late, I’ve come to
see these particular canvases for what they are,
flecks of beauty, of hope, of a respite from my mundane existence
always out of reach.
When what I want most of all is to feel the sun,
not just for a passing moment, but forever.
It will shine on me again, they say.
In the meantime I don’t know how much more of it I can bear,
For I am so cold without its embrace.
And yet, Elinor is was truly feeling like you can be yourself without any judgment.The sun symbolizes freedom and joy.It’s what you’ve looked forward to,waited for,desperately.It’s the thing you have longed to feel.Something you must have.Something sacred.Those are just my thoughts,anyway.I really liked reading this.
2. What do i think need to be improved Elinor is that i can say that this poem was about yourself because it say's here that you said If I ever tire of the stars I remind myself
that there are nights where I cannot see them and I know
that their absence is always worse.
If I ever tire of the clouds
I remember the summer when I was a girl and there was no rain.
The grass grew brown and trees shriveled up
in its absence and I longed for the cool touch of the clouds
to give us some relief.
I must remind myself that I’ve felt the sun before,
not just for short bursts, false starts or teases, but truly,
deeply felt it. so that's why i thought the poem was about you Elinor
Have fun writing!
Jay"
beautiful work!
Not a review, but just wanted to say I love the rhyming in:
The line breaks especially in the first part give me a sense of wandering, meandering, and kind of getting lost at points, with the enjambments.
I think this is about truly feeling like you can be yourself without any judgment.The sun symbolizes freedom and joy.It’s what you’ve looked forward to,waited for,desperately.It’s the thing you have longed to feel.Something you must have.Something sacred.Those are just my thoughts,anyway.I really liked reading this.I hope that you have a lovely and fun day and night.