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Canary word: Present
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Hello!
This poem is absolutely beautiful. I love the way it’s written, it almost pulls the reader into a second universe. The feeling in it is so skillfully woven into the words; I especially love “my body is a barrier, a testament to the weak and sorrowful woman; a crack in the vortex of reality yet still as bright as a solar system.” And “but I still allow the nebulae to cradle my spirit; swirling colors painting my soul.”
This is an incredible work of art and emotion painted beautifully. Incredible job! Keep writing!
(I would offer some constructive criticism, but I genuinely can’t find anything that could be improved about it!)
-Fable
Hello Ley! Your second review from me today. Either congratulations or my condolences, you decide which.
Your command of words is admirable. You shape images and feelings both deliberately and easily. A few of my favorites are:
(but I recommend making it "the infinite" here, the lack of "the" pulled me out of the rhythm.)
I have one real critique, and it was something as small as a possible typo.
It needs to be "a plea".
Keep writing and creating beauty! You are an artist who paints with words.
~Pickled Chrissy
Thank you so much for the reviews! <3
hi ley! here's some thoughts about this poen:
~thoughts and compliments~
-this poem speaks to me on superficial levels. the feeling of trying to set things back to normal, and trying to be normal again but just being unable to is so... relateable
-ugh the space metaphors. i love them. space is such a vast expanse that so often goes unexplored, yet poetry with it is so so beautiful.
-"a plead gone unanswered" "i. am. broken." <333 i love these
~critiques and suggestions~
nothing much to go here.
only that you should write more like this.
~ending comments~
i love this poem so much you don't even know
this poem is my blood right now <333
ilysm <3
herb/century
Omg ilysm <3
this.
<33