Young Writers Society

This was a really nice poem! I feel there were a little to many "Oh Bothers" Which makes it feel repetitive, and at the end, the second to last line was confusing me a bit, but really, other than that, this poems great! I love the format, and I love how it ends where it began, that's really nice!
Overall, great poem! a very enjoyable read, it's fun and funny! Keep on writing, and have a great day or night!

I did see this poem when you were writing it in the pad, and have to say I think the repetition really works for this one! It creates an amplified effect as the reader reads "oh bother" again and again as the speaker's day gets worse and worse, so that the reader really feels bad that all of this stuff is piling up on them.

It's neat that you are exploring some different formatting with the italics, bold, and underline - I'm not sure that the poem needed all three together, but it does draw the reader's attention to those parts.

Nice work here Eagle!

- alliyha

I really like this. It explains the hard times that people have if they have siblings like brothers. And plus, this perfectly describes my life. Now what's your last line, I can't believe that you could end stuff like poetry with the last line but still make it good. You proved me wrong, big time. Great job on that.

Now I see you may have accidentally capitalized to stop in your poem. If you could fix that up for grammar reasons like capitalization then that would be good.

Also in one of your lines when you said.

Oh brother why don't you just eat in stead of having a sore tummy.


You could really fix that in stead and put instead.

So first off, I really like the comedic sort of tone here, and especially the premise. You don't often get a poem about complaining, and I like it for that. It's original. Um, this is more subjective, but I'm a bit irritated it doesn't rhyme. Okay, this is just me, I really like rhyming poems, I enjoy a good rhythm, HOWEVER, that's not really a proper critique, as it's more personal, though I did think the style of the poem really begged for more of a beat. The repetition (Again, you could've accentuated that more with a beat) really hammered in the premise. I also like the way it seems to be a lazy person just generally complaining about everything, which sort of reminded me of how Miloe was in the Phantom Tollbooth at the beginning. I'm not quite sure why you capitalized the "S' in the 'stop crying" part, and in the line about "my backs so sore", you might want to put an apostrophe in between the "s" and "back", and it seemed to lose its direction in the last two or three lines, but overall I did enjoy it. A few of the lines could be modified so that the rhythm flows better, and there were a few typos, but it is hard to make that kind of subject flow easily.

First of all, I like the cute, airy feel of this poem. It is a really creative - one of a kind kinda poem and I thought it was very good. I suggest maybe toning it down on all the commas but I like how Oh Bother was in almost every line. This is very different from a lot of the other poems out here and I mean that in a good way. I like how dramatic it was, which added to the cute, airy feel.

Overall I rate this an 8-10. I enjoyed it!!

This is such a cute poem!!! <3 XD

Hello little sis. FlamingPhoenix here with a review for your Oh Bother poem, on this lovely day.

Okay let's get to it shall we?

So the theme behind this poem is really funny, and it gave me a good few laughs. And it's not everyday when I get to read a poem that makes me laugh. So I think you have done a great job, and I can't wait to see what else you have in story for us in the near future.

Okay so now you know what I think of your poem, time to jump right into the review.

So I did see one or two things in this poem that needs to be fixed.

Oh Bother, my backs so sore,

Oh Bother, will you stop talking,

Oh Bother

I like the repetitive nature of the poem, and the fact we're not too sure who the narrator of the poem is talking to. I like how it flows too, and the rhetorical question adds to the overall tone. I actually like the exaggerated use of commas as I feel like the whole poem is a little exaggerated by the repetition of "oh bother"

Hey!

Here for a review.A nice poem and nice work with rhyme scheme.I think you could change the punctuation, so many comas make it feel a little exaggerated.In one line there is a typo but that's OK.
The line
" It makes me want to cry about the samething"
can be changed a little,just to modify the sound of the line.I hope this helps and good work.It's not easy to pick up such a subject and make it flow so easily.
😊