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Call Of The Rebellion

by Dossereana

Authors Note: This is based around a game called Monster Hunter, please be aware that this is the first time I’ve written fan fiction before, so it might not be very good.

Call Of The Rebellion

We come from an enchanted place

were the land is made from our bones

and here you come trying to destroy nature,

you act like you own the place

but this is not your land

for this is where we belong

and we will fight to protect all we have,

our powers you will not claim

and our strength you do not own

with all the elements of the world

we will destroy you,

fangs, talons and horns shell come to our aid

as we call on the elder dragons across all seas,

we will crumble your city's

like you have done to our homes,

and we shell kill your youngsters

like you have stolen ours,

and you shell pick up your swords

and leave for only we remain here!

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15 Reviews

Points: 500
Reviews: 15

Thu Feb 16, 2023 3:58 am
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Abysalyounglord wrote a review...

I really enjoy this poem! It has a powerful message of protection and strength. I like the imagery of dragons and fangs, talons, and horns coming to the aid of the speaker. It paints a vivid picture of strength in the face of a shared enemy. I also appreciate the message that this is not our land and we must fight to protect it. Overall, a powerful and meaningful poem!

Dossereana says...

Thank you so much for the kind words. :)

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235 Reviews

Points: 6841
Reviews: 235

Wed Feb 15, 2023 6:46 pm
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4revgreen wrote a review...

Your poem "Call Of The Rebellion" is powerful and speaks to the deep connection that people have to the land and nature, and the lengths they will go to protect it. The speaker emphasizes the importance of their connection to the land, which is "made from our bones." The use of the first-person plural pronoun "we" throughout the poem reinforces the sense of unity and community among those fighting to protect their land and their powers.

You employs vivid and fierce imagery in the poem, using words such as "fangs," "talons," and "horns" to convey a sense of strength and aggression. This really helped me picture the scene as I read it even though I don't know the games. The reference to "elder dragons" reinforces the idea of ancient and powerful forces at work in the world, adding a mythical quality to the poem.

However, one small area for improvement that I would point out would be the use of punctuation, which is a little inconsistent throughout the poem. Some lines end with a comma, while others don't but there's no periods so it seems like one long sentence.

Nonetheless, "Call Of The Rebellion" is a really passionate and impactful poem that conveys a sense of urgency and defiance in the face of destruction. The poem is well-structured and effectively conveys a message of resistance and rebellion against those who seek to harm the natural world

Dossereana says...

Thank you so much for the review, I will keep all of this in mind. :)

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34 Reviews

Points: 30
Reviews: 34

Wed Feb 15, 2023 2:29 am
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Ari11 wrote a review...

Ari here.
I don't know much about Call of the Rebellion, but this was very nicely written and I thought I'd leave a review.
First of all, the descriptive language is really cool. I especially like 'where the land is made from our bones'. It gives a brilliant image of a dark, painful place steeped in tragedy. And the line 'we shall kill your youngsters like you have stolen ours' is powerful in how it actually disturbed me a little. This piece is packed with all sorts of emotion to create a gripping, painful story that I found...not enjoyable exactly, but very interesting. Great job!

Dossereana says...

Thank you so much, sorry it wasn't enjoyable.

Call of the Rebellion is just the name of the poem, but the game I'm basing it off of is called monster hunter 3/4 ultimate.

Ari11 says...

Oh, whoops. I guess my review came off a little more critical than I intended. When I said I didn't enjoy it, I just meant that it doesn't spark feelings of joy. I'm assuming happiness wasn't what you were going for, based on how it's a poem about tragedy. I'm sorry, I should've worded that better. :(

Dossereana says...

Know it's okay, thanks for the like on the poem. :)

The mind of man is capable of anything - because everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness