The Shadow On My Past

Hello rose here to write a review on this lovely piece.


I hope you are doing well.


This was amazing! I really loved reading this. My favourite line was
"The shadow on my past
is like shattered pieces of glass"

I really like how you compared your past to shattered pieces of glass. The only thing that I really could suggest is changing on to of in line two. so it would look more like this,

"The shadow of my past"

but that's up to you though. Other than that you did really well on this. I really enjoyed reading this piece. I hope to see more of your work soon.

Hello Dossereana, I hope this finds you well.

I am glad to see you jumping back into the fray of poetry, welcome. I am here to do a review.

"The shadow on my past,
Is like shattered pieces of glass,
It's been broken in many different ways,
And it's ended up in many different places."

Throughout this whole poem, I would suggest adding punctuation. For any reference, I will put punctuation in the samples above throughout your poem as I dissect my way through.

The past is always explained like a mirror, a reflection, delicate and constant. Nothing in the mirror changes unless you do, but if you change too suddenly the mirror cracks. Each piece is a different part of you and flies in any direction it can to escape the force of your fists.

"It's like I was in a desert,
It's dry and hot,
With no water to subdue my thirst.

But now you've gone,
And I know it took too long.

But it's over,
And I can breathe,
And I know I will never go back."

Your shattered mirror never tried to harm you, but in its nature, it inexplicably will. That mirror turns to glass, making the sun into pinpointed lasers meant to burn you. To suck up everything green and turn it to fire, burning hot, too hot. Any relief could not be found in the situation you find yourself in, when shattered mirrors crumple it takes down everything in their path. But it's not the end, it could never be that simple. Soon time flows, and eventually, the sun slows, and it won't burn as much. Your skin will grow darker, but it will be tougher.

"This desert has now become a forest,
I'm full of life and no longer hiding,
I have been shown life vs. death,
And I will now guard my heart,
And never allow you in again."

Desert in this placement, I believe, does not have to be punctuated.

Shadows and glass. Eventually, the shadows leave, and the glass stays, making room for the sun on a new day. The sun takes its turn in the pain, leaving you spurned and burned. But with time, you begin to find the weeds. Sure, they may be insignificant, they may be small. But they are mighty, they are green, and they have perseverance in every way. Through cracks and brutal sun they grow, they grow through the cracks of the shattered mirror. They add in making you complete again and help you cultivate the land of barren sorrow into a forest. Being shown the tightrope that everyone walks, whether it's a board or a fishing line, if you look down, everyone can see the drastic measures one takes to get to the other side. You can see the walls they build and the sentries they post, to guard what they almost lost the most.

Never let the shadows consume you, and understand that the sun never wanted to burn you. The desert will always have its place, and you can leave whenever you want. Don't force yourself the burden of changing the desert, instead change your location. Make it easier on yourself to find green where green grows, to drink water where it flows. You never have to create your Eden, you just have to find it and care for it. Build your walls if you must, but know that someday, one day, or any day, one will climb a pesky vine just for a glimpse. That perseverance will remind you of the weeds that started your healing, and you may go back to thinking that weeds are bad, but try and look for some beauty. You will find it, and when you do, love it.

This was a pleasant read, and I am interested to see more of your work. I hope to see you in the green room again.

Keep creating beautiful art, and dance in the rain when things seem hard.

This is such a great piece of poetry!! Though, I'm not sure if this was a mistake, but in line 11- "And I can breath" was it supposed to be 'breathe'? Sometimes I get mixed up with the two, but I just wasn't sure. Other than that, relating your feelings to a desert is such a beautiful metaphor! The desert becoming a forest too is just so cool! Puts an amazing visual in my mind. Not to forget the last two lines pulled on my heart strings, I can totally relate. Now, I may not know what you were feeling when writing this, but I hope you feel better. <3