Young Writers Society

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today! <3

I really liked this poem a lot. It was almost grace like but portrayed a deeply moving topic, which most of us stray our eyes from today. (This is my first review so try to take it easy on me, as it might take a while to finish.)


Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
You use lots of great imagery in this which is really profound considering what you wrote about is such a conflicting subject.

"and it always portrays endless love everyday"

"their feathers always kept clean after their wash"

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Okay, I know I say this a lot (mostly just to be nice,) but I totally LOVED this, for reals this time. I found myself smiling during the entire poem here. It just was such a sweet, happy, optimistic poem to me, explaining how chickens are such gentle creatures. I have to say that this is by far my favorite poem here on the site so far

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
What I know is that you explain how gentle chickens are, from their feathers kept clean after their wash, to how gentle they are to their eggs in their nests. But unfortunately people take the eggs just to be put on display, but sometimes the beautiful, curious chicken breaks through, waiting for its purpose.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements

are now always

and it always portrays

endless love everyday

the great curiosity

a lovely chicken

is now set free

I couldn't help but hop on another one! I won't be so long-winded this time.

I noticed one case of a misused homophone, and like I said on your other poem, it's an easy fix.

but soon their will be / another in its place breaking

Hello Doss!

In all honesty, I am writing this instead of paying attention to a rather boring class. It's a bit of a busy season for me and your poem was such a lovely break from stress!! But enough preface! Let's get into the poem!!

First off, I have to say, your rhyme scheme is impeccable!! I really enjoyed some of the rhymes your used and it made everything flow so nicely. And your choice to eliminate capitalization and punctuation (excluding the ending period) also make for a very smooth read. It also adds a feeling of timelessness that contributes to your topic of this ongoing cycle in the life of a chicken. It makes it so you could loop back to the beginning of the poem and read it again as if from the point of view of the chicken that was just hatched. It kind of reminds me of the whole 'which came first: the chicken or the egg?' debate.

I did notice that you wrote "there" a lot when I think you might have meant "their." Also the 'b' in 'but what could it be' is capitalized while most everything else in this poem is lowercase. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not.

Well, that's all, I hope you have a great day!!!

Greetings Poet!

Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye a lovely poem titled “The Gentle Creatures” that deserves a good review. Therefore without further ado, let’s begin.



You've written a lovely poem, that uses rhyme and repetition to tell a nice tale of a chicken that is exploited for its eggs and then set free. The use of rhyme in your poem creates a rhythmic and musical quality, something that spreads an atmosphere of resilience and hope.

Your writing style is quite simple, but still unique. But it is mostly your imagination that created this appealing piece. You describe the feathers that are "always kept clean", and apart from the others. They get "endless love everyday", even when the eggs are being put on display.

The repetition in your poem emphasises the main idea and creates a sense of continuity, almost as if it is a never ending circle. That is why the repetition really carries the whole poem, because it deepens the emotional depth.
Your poem uses the chicken as a symbol of a creatures that are being exploited and oppressed by humans, but also have a hope and a will to live.
The poem could be interpreted as the resilience of nature and the value of freedom, it really brings out a deeper meaning.

In many lines of your poem, you use the word "there", I think you meant "their". Mind fixing these grammar errors for a better flow and to avoid confusion.
You could also consider using capitalisation to improve the readability and clarity of your poem; think of commas, periods, apostrophes, and capital letters to mark the end and beginning of sentences and phrases, and to show the possession and contraction of words.
You could also experiment with using more descriptive language in your poem, it will give it a whole new look.

Everything in all and all in everything, your poem has some true potential and it was a genuine pleasure to dive into this. You should definitely consider writing more of these.

That's it, that's all.
While lengthy reviews may dive deep, short reviews can still make a splash.

Yours in Puzzling Shadows,
Rose