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My Word For Conspiracy’s A Theory

by Dossereana


There is a theory

People shout,

This earth is flat,

And others will shout,

And say,

The earth is round,

But me

I feel like the real

Truth is that,

The earth is round,

And round as can be,

if any disagree,

I don't care

About how they feel about it.


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Sun Feb 10, 2019 6:14 am
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Casanova wrote a review...



Heya, EagleFly, Casanova here to do a review for you.

The biggest thing I have against this, strictly speaking, is the breaking up and wording of the poem as for flow reasons.

You switch by breaking up words into just a few spaces, and honestly I think you could have done better. I read this in my head, and since it didn't sound right to me, I read it allowed, and honestly it's just too broken up for me. Maybe try adding some of it together and adding punctuation wherever it's best for flow. But that could just be me.

The next thing is wording. I feel like you could have found better ways to word things. You Use And to start three sentences, and I feel like that can be taken down to just one. I also feel like the rhyme between be and disagree is too forced, and I wouldn't be worried about rhyme at all, if that was your intent to begin with.

The only other thing is that this is a pretty straightforward poem, it doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Literally- it doesn't take picturing it to get the message, you just have to digest the definitions of the words.

Anyway, I think that's all I have on this one,

Keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Casanova




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Sat Feb 09, 2019 10:27 pm
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DougalOfBiscuits wrote a review...



Hey Eagle, decided I might as well review this before I get into working on my own poem in the other pad.

There is something I'm confused about here. This is that you first say that some people will say that the earth is flat, others will say that it is true. Compared to that contrast, it seems like when you say "But me", you are going to introduce a third, unique point of view. I get this impression because "But" implies that whatever you are about to say is contrary to the view of people who believe the Earth to be round. This means that when your conclusion is picking a side, it sounds a bit jarring because it's not what I feel set up for.

Additionally, I'm not sure this is the most hot-button issue in the world. By this I mean that I don't think it's an enormous act of defiance to claim that the world is round, since this is overwhelmingly mainstream, normal teaching. Why would it matter that you don't care what conspiracy theorists think, since barely anyone cares what they think anyway?
I think something you could have done is choose a conspiracy that tends to get more people believing it the more it is heard. For example, anti-trans campaigners who are convinced that trans women are men trying to sneak into women's bathrooms. This is a current subject of debate in many Western countries, so an act of defiance against them would be much more impactful as it would be standing against a more powerful force.

What I really liked here though was the wordplay. I really like the short lines and the way you repeat "round" a lot. I don't quite have the vocabulary to express this but it feels like it could be spoken aloud with a beat quite well. Let me know if that doesn't make sense. I'm a fourth year literature student at university, I really should know how to say that better xD

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)




Dossereana says...


Thank you for the review I understand it very much. :D it really helps when someone writes a review.



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Sat Feb 09, 2019 5:06 pm
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Snoink says...



Sorry for the initial blank post! I was reading your poem and wrestling with a baby!

Anyway, since I’m here...

It’s not very clear what the conspiracy is? Like, conspiracies tend to be almost plausible, but the flat Earth movement, while still around, is kind of a joke. If you added more details and descriptions to your poem to give credence to the flat Earth movement and then pivoted, so that it seemed more conspiratorial, that would give it a definite sense of charm though!

I sort of wish you ended on a rhyme, by the way... I know you broke the rhyme deliberately, but rhyme tends to give poetry a special sort of whimsy!

Anyway, thank you for the poem! It’s fun! :)




Dossereana says...


Thanks for all the advise, and bye the way its okay the blank think is now gone, I am just so happy that I could have you saying something about the poem. :D



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Sat Feb 09, 2019 7:10 am
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alliyah wrote a review...



Hi EagleFly! This goes so well with the theme of "conspiracy" for the Poem A Week contest. :) And I enjoyed reading this poem quite a bit!

Meaning
The "to the point" language was perfect for a poem subject like this.

I feel like the real

Truth is that,

The earth is round,

right to the point. You don't try to hedge around what you believe. The speaker is clearly trying to address a point of debate, that they find unreasonable - they are telling whoever cares to listen that they believe the earth is round and not flat.

Language/Word Choice

I've said it before in a review of your poetry, but I very much enjoy your unique phrasing that you use. For instance some people would phrase this as a "conspiracy theory" but you change the phrase from the conventional form to "conspiracy's a theory" -> while this isn't the standard way of saying it, I think it still makes sense, and just adds an element of unique voice to the whole piece.

Additional Points
I think you could possibly make it more interesting by making the poem itself round (this website allows you to to do that actually: festisite if you are interested ) or you could perhaps include some flat earth or round earth puns or imagery or facts. For example why do you think the earth is round? Is it something you learned in science class, or from observations you've done regarding stars, sun, or shadows? Any of these additions might make the poem a little bit less simplistic.

Grammar/Spelling
That being said, your spelling and grammar for this piece were quite good - I didn't have any trouble understanding it. You could capitalize "if any disagree" just because you've capitalized the beginnings of all the other lines.

Well done friend! I will be looking forward to your next poem!

-alliyah




Dossereana says...


Thank your so much Friend, I did post this in topics in here clubs/2989/forum/78391 Maybe you just did not see it.



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Fri Feb 08, 2019 1:47 am
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salmintea wrote a review...



Dear EagleFly,

I like that your poem is addressing a current conspiracy theory with a lot majority on the "round" argument.

But I also feel the need to say a few things...

And others will shout, And say, The earth is round,


I think the "And say," in the above statement isn't really necessary. It seems like it would flow better if that line was not there.

I also think the "and" in
And round as can be
doesn't need to be there. It also seems like it would flow better in the poem overall if the line was just "Round as can be".

The last thing I want to mention is that the last line:

bout how they feel about it.


seems a little awkward because of the repetitive "about"s. Anyways, those are just my thoughts.

- B




Dossereana says...


Thank you for the review it helps me a lot. :D




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