she sleeps in the space between stars
dreaming of light as she rests and she waits
for the dust of her skin to erupt into fire
so that she may shine, a beacon, a hope,
when the blackness divulges honesty.
a frame, as she sweeps the nebula
with phosphorous lips, her nitrogen heart
and the oxygen breath of a kiss --
but carbon tastes like whisky and gin
and her iron-clad teeth leave crescent shapes
on a parched tongue, in a thirsty soul.
she burnt out long ago.
caressing the moon with desire;
a reflective movement, reflective thoughts
catching rays with fluttering lashes.
the warmth of someone else’s light
on the craters of her freckled face, and spite -
a motionless hand seeking emotionless gestures
and the world in which she loves,
spins and whirls and ruptures on the tips
of her fingers, then, and she is no longer
in orbit, waiting for time to stop
because she is pointless, twisting in darkness
severing the galaxy she tended to.
~
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hi Dreamwalker! I just wanted to pop by and say that I really liked this. My favorite part about this is the beginning, actually. This part is beautiful:
On a somewhat related note, I hate gin. Mostly because I hate juniper. XD
Anyway, keep on writing! And yes, I think you can call yourself a poet.
This was really gorgeous. I loved it all. The images it produced in my mind were breathtaking, not to say the words themselves were not. But really, this ranks as one of my most favorite poem I have ever read. (did that make sense?) Anyways, loved it. Keep up the amazement!
WOW!! That was one of the best poems I have EVER read on this! Seriously, unfreakingbelievable! You have so much talent! I loved the first two or three lines =] and the part about the whiskey and gin. Jesus this was really good! Kudos
Keep it up.
UNNNNNNNNBEEEEELLIIIIIIEEEEEEVVVVAAAAABBBLLLLEEEEEEE!
That was so awesome I really can't believe it! I am a poet and Lyricist, and I can honestly say that you stomp on whatever talents I thought I had upto this point. You are a beacon for young poets like us. Thank you so much. To be a nit picker though I'd have to point out the Lack of capitals, and I think if you made maybe one more stanza out of the first it would flow even better than it does now. Brilliant job mate, brilliant!
My favorite part
Oh..... my..... god.....DREAM WALKER STOP BEING SO AMAZING! You make us all look bad! This is definitely in the top 10 best poems i have ever read in YWS. This piece flows like silk and your vocab..... I had to look up half of those words and then I realize: "Holy crap, this is frekan amazing!" And you're going to write more!!!!!!!!! A solution!!!!!!!! HOT DAMN! I am so impressed (permission to start worshiping?) i've read this piece through so many times and it's just soooooooooooo good! I love this soooooo much and please please please keep writing. Keep up the good work!!!!!
TuckEr EllsworTh