Back Down to Earth
To hope for heights,
Love without strain.
To fight this fight,
Love without pain.
I’m sure for light
One forsakes the rain
But I would rather bear it
For him she would,
Forget the world.
For him she should,
Let hope unfurl.
For him she could,
Let the heaven’s whirl
Though I’d rather hope for parting
As loves her dream,
Her ceaseless lift.
His heart, it seems,
Should never sift.
Their wants, their means,
Could never drift.
I’d rather die than stand it.
For I don’t fear,
The lose of light.
With my love near,
And our endless night.
His voice I’ll hear,
In our lack of flight.
It would be the perfect failure,
On our way back down to earth.
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140,137 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Love it!very nice poem.Keep up the good work.
I know this isn't much of a review, but I really liked it! Of course I'm still new to reviewing. I'm looking forward to reading more of your works!
Nice rhyme scheme, I like the last two lines
Thank you for your kind reviews! I will definitly try to work on my syllable count ;D
Hi there
Like Skorpionne I think you have a great sense of rhyming and rheum. This poem has a strong backbeat that flows all the way through it, so that was a key part of making this poem so enjoyable.
Also I like your use of italics during the stanzas. It lets it break of the usual four line stanza structure.
Okay, quick comment. I think you have a great sense of rhythm and rhyming, but you need to work on the fluidity of your work. I have the very same problem, and what helps me is reading it out to myself and seeingif it scans. Otherwise, great job.. I loved the structure. *Clicks like* Keep writing!