Here's To You

Comments & reviews · 4
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
LadyBug
Review

Wesh! Professor Jade here. Let me just give a quick review on my overall thoughts. Like the pros and cons. OK, let's go!!

PROS:
This is honest, deep, you say it as it is, and I liked the metaphors.
With a guitar or piano music I could definitely hear this a song.
The message is so universally relatable.

CONS:
The flow is off a little.
Maybe make it longer. It seems quite short.
A lot of commas make it choppy and hard to read.

But I loved this and keep up writing!

-Professor Jade

Thanks for the review! I actually have a longer version of this piece that I've been debating about posting.

If you do I'll review it!

this song really speaks out to me , it was extremely well written and the emotions leapt out a load of tears within me. it was extremely deep. the story ypou told through the song was very intresting. the length of the song was really good because it finshed on something that could not be changed. and can I just point out this was so relatable to me. your punctuation was excellent no mistakes I could find very well done. it was very nice to read this

I hope you write moreon yws good luck in the future 10/10


seekingthetruth

Thanks for the review!

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a short review for you on this lovely day, and to help get your work out the green room.

I'm really glad I came and read your poem, it was really well written, and the emotions in here were very deep. So deep they even went into the name of the poem, and in a way it made me come read your work.
I really like the story you are telling us through the song, it had a good beginning and end. It was easy for me to see it was the end, though I can't say I was glad it ended. Though I think it was a really good length. I feel like you managed to get across what you needed to say very well.
This poem was very cute, and easy to relate to in away.
The flow was really good, you put all the punctuation in the right places making it an easy read, and very enjoyable.

I'm glad I was the second one to review your work, and I'm glad I had the time to read and review your work, never stop writing and post again on YWS soon. I hope you have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix
Reviewing with a fiery passion.

User avatar
Anma
Review
Anma wrote a review · Sat May 11, 2019 11:49 pm

Hello!
Anma here for a short review!
This is really cute!! (I just have to say)

This is a really good poem. I'm glad to be the first one to review it. The structure itself is really good. You don't have any grammar or punctuation errors. The spaceing is well put, and I like the fact you mixed long and short sentences. It really gives it a great flow. The words you used are perfect. It really makes the poem readable, and fun. The message from it is clear, and the emotions. You did really good on this piece. I don't see anything i would suggest to change. Its really good the way it is now. i hope this helped a little!

I would love to read more like this!

Keep up the nice work!

Sincerely
Anma



Defeat has its lessons as well as victory.
— Pat Buchanan