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Here's To You

by AmadeusW


For a time, I felt so lost and alone.

When the world was on the brink of war, I thought there was no hope.

But then you came and brought a light.

You came to me bearing gifts of clearer sight.

And you held my hand - not too strongly, not too soft.

You told me there was hope for us, after all.

You showed me there was a better way to live my life in joy,

And I took your advice, I made my sacrifice, I never bled.

With every word you spoke, I felt a wave of gratitude,

With every long embrace, I knew you were my friend,

And you and I, we never once let go,

With every dance we had, we never missed a step.

-

Here's to you, my lover from the distant land.

We'll walk through the valley of the shadow of death with hand in hand.

Here's to you, here's to you.

I'll raise my glass and enjoy your view!

While we sit, while we lay,

We'll dream of things so far away.

-

Here's to you, my lover from the east wind.

You brought with you a frigid storm, but you make me so warm.

Here's to you, here's to you.

I'll raise my glass and enjoy your view!

While the world is torn apart,

I'll find my comfort in your heart.


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User avatar
26 Reviews


Points: 29
Reviews: 26

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Mon May 13, 2019 7:25 pm
seekingthetruth wrote a review...



this song really speaks out to me , it was extremely well written and the emotions leapt out a load of tears within me. it was extremely deep. the story ypou told through the song was very intresting. the length of the song was really good because it finshed on something that could not be changed. and can I just point out this was so relatable to me. your punctuation was excellent no mistakes I could find very well done. it was very nice to read this

I hope you write moreon yws good luck in the future 10/10


seekingthetruth




AmadeusW says...


Thanks for the review!



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393 Reviews


Points: 19119
Reviews: 393

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Sun May 12, 2019 8:52 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a short review for you on this lovely day, and to help get your work out the green room.

I'm really glad I came and read your poem, it was really well written, and the emotions in here were very deep. So deep they even went into the name of the poem, and in a way it made me come read your work.
I really like the story you are telling us through the song, it had a good beginning and end. It was easy for me to see it was the end, though I can't say I was glad it ended. Though I think it was a really good length. I feel like you managed to get across what you needed to say very well.
This poem was very cute, and easy to relate to in away.
The flow was really good, you put all the punctuation in the right places making it an easy read, and very enjoyable.

I'm glad I was the second one to review your work, and I'm glad I had the time to read and review your work, never stop writing and post again on YWS soon. I hope you have a great day or night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix
Reviewing with a fiery passion.




AmadeusW says...


Thank you!





No problem! :D



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122 Reviews


Points: 264
Reviews: 122

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Sat May 11, 2019 11:49 pm
Anma wrote a review...



Hello!
Anma here for a short review!
This is really cute!! (I just have to say)

This is a really good poem. I'm glad to be the first one to review it. The structure itself is really good. You don't have any grammar or punctuation errors. The spaceing is well put, and I like the fact you mixed long and short sentences. It really gives it a great flow. The words you used are perfect. It really makes the poem readable, and fun. The message from it is clear, and the emotions. You did really good on this piece. I don't see anything i would suggest to change. Its really good the way it is now. i hope this helped a little!

I would love to read more like this!

Keep up the nice work!

Sincerely
Anma




AmadeusW says...


Thank you!



Anma says...


No problem!




Besides, if you want perfection, write a haiku. Anything longer is bound to have some passages that don't work as well as they might.
— Philip Pullman