Young Writers Society

This is absolutely amazing! I love it! The last line made me giggle, for some reason.
The only thing I'd like to say is when you said nuts than coconuts, I feel that messed with the flow a bit, but that could just be me. This poem was amazing, and I loved how it just flowed right off the page. It's short and sweet, and I just adore that!
Keep on doing what you love, and have a great day or night!

This is an unusual style... but I still enjoyed reading it! Many of the lines sound like past memories of mine - or anyone else's - life, so it's very relatable. I like your consistent starting word and how simply put it is - with a limited number of words in each line.

Great work!

Hey, this sounds like life is being described beautifully in such few words. Simply relatable.

Cheers to this writing.

As a poet ( or writer in general ) , you want to ensure that the flow of your words is natural One of the best ways to do this as a writer is to be willing to rewrite pieces until the poetry flows as fluently as possible.

1. You poem rhymes quite nicely, but if I can give one piece of advice is to change “no coconuts”. As an every stanza Includes “no” and a four letter word that rhymes with the following , except the fourth stanza. I’m assuming that was your intention to change the flow of the poem which is very great way to experiment to try different methods
It means a poem can contain a few mysteries. You don’t have to explain everything! Writing a poem is as much about sounds and word-play and emotions you can’t put into exact words.

Anyways, I really enjoyed your poem!
Keep on writing (▰˘◡˘▰)

Hi @EagleFly, hope you are fine....

This is really great..enjoyed it and liked it... Keep writing.. Have a beautiful day..

Love it.

Hello, EagleFly. Your Sister FlamingPhoenix is here with a short review for you, I'll try not to take up to much of your time.

Okay let's get down to the review.

So the first thing I saw when I was reading your poem was that you don't have any punctuation. I guess it's not to much of a big deal, but it would help with the flow of the poem if you could add some commas, and stuff like that. But that is all up to you.
I would but a comma or a full stop at the end of each line, but again that is up to you.

Now onto the good things of this poem.

Like normal, you have a really great way of making something so simple into something really funny and great to read. I have no idea how you do it, but I do hope you never stop.
I also like it that you tried to rime some of the things together. I thought that was really well done, and it kind of makes sense in the end. Even though some of the things you said here don't mach up. But that's what I was just saying, how you can take some really funny things and just make them work.
I am also really glad to see I can't see any spelling mistakes.
So great job. I thought everything was well done, and I can't wait to see more. I do hope I will get to review and read more of your poems in the future sometime. I hope you post some more works on YWS soon. Never stop writing, or don't get writers block. Have a great day.

Your sister
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.