Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Full Novel Synopsis: Sequel to 'The Spiralling', itself a sequel to the Kick-Ass (2010) movie. However, this novel can be read on its own. After Big Daddy died, Mindy was driven mad, subdued by Dave, and locked away in an Institute after killing all who she deemed responsible but Dave. Will she recover? What will happen next to a New York without her nor the Motherfucker? Elements of the Kick-Ass 2 (2013) movie and comic series will be taken in.
The Descent
Chapter 8: Old and New Friends Part 2
At The Prayer Area…
I was excited! I knew from the bottom of my heart that I’d get to see the face again! God! So I skipped to where everyone else was praying, and I followed what they did. I knelt down and put my hands together. But I didn’t know what to say.
I looked around at Dave and Daddy, but they were busy talking to the others in church. So I looked the other way, and there was this man who was on the stage earlier. He was just beside me, looking at the cross. He wasn’t praying. I wanted to ask him for help, but I was afraid to. He looked big, and tough.
But I didn’t need to! He saw that I was looking at him, and he turned to look down at me. At first, I was scared. I thought I did something wrong, but he just smiled down at me.
“Oh, new kid!” He said. He had a funny way of saying things. He didn’t sound like the rest of us. He seemed happy to see me. Everyone was happy to see me, like Pastor Harkman. “Whatsamatter? You need help with something?”
I was a little afraid that anyone who heard would laugh at me, so I had to whisper it to him. He had to bend low to listen to me. I feel a little guilty for doing that. I whispered to him: “Could you teach me how to pray to God? I would like to see him again.”
“Sure thing, kid.” He didn’t seem to mind at all. He seemed nice after that, and no longer mean looking. His teeth still looked a little scary though, “Now, just put your hands together. It’s a sign of respect.” I did it like he said. It was exciting! I’ll get to see God again soon! “And look at the cross.” So I looked at the cross.
“Now, just listen to my prayer, then you’ll follow after me, okay kid?” I said okay, and he went on with his own prayer first. He closed his eyes and bowed his head a little, “Dear God, I come before you today to thank you for your guidance. Please bless me for what comes next, so that I may bring justice to New York, just as you brought justice down upon the D’Amico tower – twice now, I might add. Thank you and in your name, Amen.”
I still couldn’t understand what to do, then there was what he said… What he said… D’Amico Tower… D’Amico Tower… D’Amico Tower… Sounds like… Something I… I… Can’t think… Can’t think straight…
“Your turn, kid. Now, it’s your prayer, sweetheart, so you get to say whatever you want.” The nice big man said. What happened to me just now? I went back to listening to him, but I was still confused. He seemed to know that by just looking at me, “Just be humble and good okay? Remember, God is a person with feelings too.” I couldn’t follow what he was saying. What happened to me just now?
“C’mon, let me lead you in.” The nice big man finally said. He touched my shoulder, and it stopped me from thinking about what happened just now. I followed what he said, “Dear God…”
“Dear God,” I repeated after him. He started giving me clues. It was just like school, but more fun and friendly! I started praying with his help! “I want to thank you for saving me from the bus accident, and taking me back to my family. Thank you for giving me the best daddy in the world, and Dave, the best big brother in the world. I would be a happy girl if I get to see you again. Thank you, and in your name, Amen.”
When I was done, I opened my eyes again. I saw that the nice, big man was looking at me in a sort of weird way. “You know, there seem to be something ‘bout you, kid. You’re kind of familiar.” I stared at him in the eyes. I find it easier to look at, but I don’t remember him. Why does everyone keep saying that? Principle Dixon said that, and now this man too. Yet Dave said that I had never met Mrs Dixon before.
“I- I don’t know you, mister.” I didn’t know what to say. I looked away, because it was getting harder to look at him in the eyes.
“Nah, I think I’m just getting on in the years. I’ve seen a lot of kids in my time. Sorry, sweetheart.” The nice, big man said. Mrs Dixon said that too, “My name’s Sal Bertolinni by the way. It’s nice to meet you.” He held up his hand. It was huge! I was scared at first, but I didn’t want to be rude. I shook his hand, and he was very gentle.
“I’m Mandy… Mandy Lizewski. Do you… want to be friends?” I can’t help but to be a little shy and ashamed to ask at first, but I did. He was old and I was young, so it seems strange for us to be friends. But Daddy and Dave were like friends to me too, except they were also my family, so why can’t Sal be my friend?
“I would love to, Mandy.” He didn’t wait to say yes. I’m so, so happy! I made another friend! He didn’t stay for long though. I wish he would. After looking at his watch, he said, “Well, look at how the time runs! There’s something I need to do, so I’ll see you next week.” He waved goodbye and left.
An Hour Later…
“They may wear costumes, but it isn’t Halloween.” The television in my room blared as I was sitting in bed, getting my suit off, “They’re real life superheroes, and in the two years since ordinary citizens don capes and masks, the movement has started to spread.” Upon hearing about superheroes, I was getting pumped.
“I became a superhero because of Kick-Ass.” A very familiar man in a red-and-white costume said when the same reporter interviewed the man. It was Doctor Gravity, the superhero I’ve decided to meet and form a team. We were supposed to meet on Monday night. He looked so much more epic on the high-definition camera the WNRD used. As he swung his zero-g device towards the camera, I was actually fazing back a bit.
“Yeah, you just come home from work, grab your gear and go out on patrol.” Another superhero, this time someone who didn’t appear on the first page of Google, replied upon being asked about the routine of a superhero. I saw ‘RJ’ on his helmet, but I couldn’t figure out what it stood for. He looked like he was equipped in bulletproof armour, but he had two hacksaws for weapons. It reminded me of Hacksaw, this huge guy decked in black from head to toe with a yellow lightning bolt for a logo that reminded me of Flash. His weapon of choice were hacksaws, predictably, and I wondered if RJ and Hacksaw were the same person in two different outfits, “I usually do 4 hours a shot, sometimes 6.”
“Help us make the street safe.” A couple of similarly dressed superheroes appeared on screen said when queried about what their objective was. Blue sports jacket with orange stripes down the shoulders and arms with matching mask that looked a size too huge as they don’t fit snugly. They wore a T-shirt on the inside with a picture of a boy. They looked like a real couple, or even married.
I was pumped. The next time I suit up as Kick-Ass and take to the streets was tonight, but I decided to get out a little earlier than that, maybe in a few hours’ time, go on a full 8 hours’ patrol. With any luck I might get interviewed like the rest. There were people recognising me as the first and only Kick-Ass in the dead of night. With me going out in broad daylight and creating public awareness that Kick-Ass was out again, the few remaining criminals left in New York would be packing. To tell you the truth, I might be a little delusional and self-glorifying. I guess I could only be thankful that I didn’t have a lot of time to continue down this road. There was something I needed to do.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hey, Dark Raven!
So, I finally became smart and looked up just a little bit of background info about Kick-Ass and what happened in some of the comics, and it sort of surprised me. I totally just assumed that Kick-Ass was an organization rather than the name of his alter-ego, specifically because he's always talking about 'becoming Kick-Ass.' Show just how out of the loop I am. Yet, I was always able to tell that Hit-Girl was Mindy's old name... Strange.
Going back into Mindy's perspective was really interesting, and I liked it a lot more this time around. While still capturing her essence and innocence into everything like the descriptions. The choppiness has gone down tremendously, and it was great seeing how she reacted to the man's words. However, I don't think I recall much from last chapter about how Mandy reacted to the man's words before. (Did Dave put his hands over her ears or something...?)
I'm sort of suspicious as to why Mandy doesn't question anything about him and what he does, since Dave seemed kind of edgy around him, since he brought up the dark days. Anyways, there seems to be something missing about her reactions and what he's done, perhaps its just me.
What really threw me off was at the very end. That was mostly the reason that prompted me to search up what Kick-Ass was really about. I didn't really understand what it was meant by 'being the first and only 'Kick-Ass' out at night' because now I believe that he is the only Kick-Ass...? That sentence also threw me for a loop because it made sense for people to recognize him, but I don't get what he meant by 'going down this road.' Just try to clear up the meaning of the paragraph (if you're confused, shoot me a message and I'll try to elaborate better).
Final thing, how old is Dave? He's in highschool, yes, but I picture him in his nineteens or even twenties, and doing all this superhero business (because I'm not sure when he started) how in the world has he kept up with it all? Maybe try to find a way to insert these kinds of things in there.
Keep on Writing,
~Wolfare~
Hi
A good chapter, and it's interesting. I'm sure Mandy's memories are going to come up more and more as she starts to think about what he meant with the mention of the D'Amico tower... It was a really close call because he could've said a lot more. Mandy's response was strange, she only focused on it for a while before moving on. It must be a child's short attention span.

Here I am for the daily dosage of The Descendent
I think there are a few too many exclamations in Mandy's part. I know you want her to should like a chirpy and excited young girl, but right now it sounds as if she'd be going ooh floor! ooh window! Every time she passes one. I would cut down on the amount, but make sure you have quite a few in there still, because she is more joyful than usual.
Personally the whole thing about Hacksaw and RJ was confusing me. I saw too many mentions of the words 'saw' and then same person and I was like... whaaaat? So do you mean that Hacksaw and RJ are both superhero's played by the same person? Please, explain this to me. And perhaps make it a bit more obvious in your story as well (so long as I'm not just having a really dumb moment).
Not any obvious technical mistakes here. Not even anything remotely serious when it comes to tense jumping either. Great! And a great description of the Italian man through Mandy's eyes. It was a nice contrast from when Dave saw him in the previous chapter (plump, common, unthreatening) to how Mandy saw him (monster-like manner, sharp teeth, well, only at first). But you managed to do this really well, which is great. You have got a great sense of imagery with your words, which is great to have.
I don't have any large complaints about this chapter at all, just keep on writing! I'm liking what I'm reading, and the story has once again picked up the pace and suspense, what with Mandy remembering little details. And people hinting at them constantly. I can't wait till that line of suspense emerges. Be careful not to wait too long because the reader can easily tell that she is likely to remember some of her memories. We don't know how she shall react to them (this is the real suspense you've created) but if you drag this bit too long the reader can begin to lose interest. Just be wary of that
Deanie x
lol, I think you mean The Descent.
Anyway, I like your feedback about using too many exclamation marks and the part about the 'saw' bit. I'll be sure to look into that in the next big revision.

I hope the next few chapters won't be considered a drag. I guess different people have different definitions of draggy. You look like the kind who won't consider the lack of action-packed sequences draggy, so it looks like we're on the same page.
If What I said is true about you, then the next few chapters won't be draggy... At least I hope so.
Right, yep that's what I meant
I haven't read any of the pieces before this, so I'm reviewing you based on what I've read. 1. lay off the exclamation marks. It makes the tone of the story seem almost annoyingly chipper.
Never use the word "getting" or "get" or "got" because there is almost always an alternative. For example, use the word "taking".2. I hate it when authors write novels on here, and the chapters have parts. Honestly, novels you read in real life do not have parts. It takes time to write a novel chapter, so just write it all at once.
3. Don't use subtitles. It's annoying, distracting and it almost makes you look lazy. You could just start a new paragraph saying "In the prayer room (blah blah blah)" Instead of using a subtitle.
4.
That's all I "got".
Bye
While your review's okay, more or less, your second point is way off. Chapters are divided into parts because 1,500 words is the recommended length of a work here in YWS. That's not all - Everything I've uploaded so far has long been written! I'm merely just importing them here from elsewhere so that I could get critical feedbacks!
Also, try not to sound so emotional and personal. I more or less get it that maybe it's your drift/style/pattern (which does not mean I'm not stirred up a bit), but you may not be as lucky with other people.
Well, I've done over 40 reviews just like this and no one seems to have an issue with it. I'll admit I can be sarcastic, but as far as the paragraph thing, it's just annoying. So I'm sorry if you didn't like my tone.
No complaints and negative feedbacks does not mean that no one has an issue with it. Maybe they're just being courteous, or tolerant. You ought to remember that this is the internet. Already, in real life, people tend to hide things from one another. On the net, you're one extra degree removed from what people really think and feel.
Since you're so sorry about your tone, I suggest you change that, and stop imposing on others the burden of tolerating your habit. This site has an incredible creative, positive environment for writing, at least out here in the literary zone, and such an environment depends on a friendliness and professionalism. Sarcasm and attitude has no place here.
As for the paragraph thing, I'm fine with that. It's my stylistic choice but I see the merit in your argument. However, I wasn't referring to your feedback on that. I was referring to your feedback in your second point, as in the point numbered two. I'm saying that I have no choice but to upload my work in parts here, even if I've written everything weeks before hand.
Hi D4RKR4VEN, Dream here with review on your story. First of all, Happy Review Day!
I have to say, you have a very good story with exciting description and detailed. It helps the reader feel the impact of this story. I have no problem, just want to applaud!
What I like:
1.
The only important details given, simple but effective.
2.Imagery. Often used in poem or song, but here, it just work. Your story managed to appealing to the five human senses.
You told what you see and tell what you feel in great ways.
3.Emotional impact.- Your story managed to gives space to the reader to deepen the main character and thus have an impact mood.
Overall, I really like your writing style here! Just keep it up. Maybe there are some verses that seem less effective and the use of inappropriate punctuation, it still appears to be successful as a potential story.
lol you sound like you're reviewing a poem
But thanks for the review
I'm glad you enjoyed it, though I seriously doubt I'm appealing that much to the 5 senses. Like a lot of people, I tend to have a problem with favouring the sight.
Review day forced me to review a story,lol! And I am not so good on it. *sorry*
Well... I wouldn't use the word 'forced'. I believe it 'motivated' you to review, considering that there's no actual way the website could coerce you in any meaningful way to produce reviews.
As for you not being good at it, I suppose the only way is to do it more often and learn more about how to review better?
For the time being though, your review's pretty okay. I've seen reviews that were far worse, and by God, they were. Thankfully, none of them exists here in this universe you call YWS. They exist in a chaotic parallel universe known as Fanfiction.net
Yeah, u r right. I suppose to learn more on review a story