LAPIS :Chapter 1:

by SereneSimpliciT

Published August 23, 2013

12+ Language

In LAPIS

"Alright Men, welcome to Gelus."

I blink in surprise, taken back by surprise as the hatch door in front of my group opens wide. At first the light inside is blinding, causing most of us to cover our eyes until they’re able to adjust. After a moment, I finally look up, and my eyes widen at the grand site. The hall is wide, lighted with bright white rod lights lining the walls, larger ones above hanging from the ceiling. The ceiling is about fifteen feet tall, looking to have symbols etched into the steel. Stepping inside, our footsteps echo in a strange chorus of rubber soles, though no is very bothered by it, each of us gawking as we are enveloped in the strong presence Gelus has.

"This base was established around 2200, during the time of the Great Uniting, as a symbol to the rest of the world that we would be able to return to a stable and peaceful world. . . ." the Captain leading us starts to explain.

"Hey Goro, look over there," Cent whispers, nudging me.

"What?" I reply, looking over to where he's gesturing.

My eyes soon land on the window of one of the rooms lining the walls. From what I can see, there's an Altuvalen woman, an Ambassador from what I can tell from her uniform, with a man probably in his mid-30s. I mean, that's normal, considering that since the Terrestrial Peace Pact, many of our allies from the other societies of the Universe come to visit the bases here on Earth. Many have even joined our military and risen in the ranks to be Vesperian and Orien Commanders. Though, it's the man that must have caught Cent's eye. At first look, he looks like any other man, but take another look, and you see that the man has tattoos on both sides of his face, and even though the window is tinted, it seems that the man's eyes are. . . . yellow. Though humans are much more advanced nowadays, the basics of our looks and genetics has not really changed. Our eyes are normal colors; Blue, Brown, Green, and then the usual in-betweens, such as hazel, blue green, grey, and even black. Yellow is not in there.

"Now Gentlemen, each of you have your own strengths and your own weaknesses. But, here at Gelus, we will train you at a much more advanced rate, and will be sure to make you masters in your own areas," he continues.

"Weird, wasn't it?" Cent says.

"It wasn't that odd, it was probably just the tinting of the glass," I whisper back, trying to think logically.

Yeah, it was just the window. That makes more sense. . . .

Cent gives me his signature "You gotta be joking" stare, meaning he doesn't believe me; not one bit. I roll my eyes and look forward, surprised to I find our group is walking towards another large hanger door at the end of the hall we've been walking down. On the door is a simple inscription, in what I'm guessing is Latin.

It says “Milites Altorum, Populus Heri”, probably describing whatever is on the other side of the door.

"All of you standing before me today will make great names for yourselves, some of you will make fame across the galaxies of our Universe," the Captain continues, his eyes meeting mine, and he gives a small grin, "I wish all of you the best of luck. Now, it's time I introduce you to some beings that you will be living with here at Gelus."

"Wow, he's really gonna show us the top secret soldiers without running our identities or any of that other shit they did back at Liber," Cent comments.

"Cent, be quiet," I whisper.

"Seriously, do you not remember when we first got there?" Cent continues, "They made us give thumb prints so we could get bagels!"

"Cent-" I start.

"And they weren't even good bagels. Ugh, they tasted like toasted cardboard-" he keeps ranting.

With that, I swiftly find a pressure point on his back, and with no remorse to give, I press it. Instantly, he shuts up, trying to keep his knee from giving as it usually does when I do it, his teeth clenched. I smirk, knowing I won the squabble.

The door in front of us begins to open. "Meet the Jeweloids," the Captain says, stepping over to the side.

With that, we all stand in anticipation for these "Jeweloids". At first, when the door opens, we don't see anything. Then, without warning, we’re consumed in a bright white light from what I assume may be a major explosion. We all automatically cringed into ourselves, not expecting such an abrupt shock. Though, that’s hardly the end of it, as it’s not long before we’re all slammed with an extreme energy blast.

Now, in the group, there's about 30 guys, including Cent and I. Upon impact, only four of us still remain standing. I am somehow able to stand pretty solid without much struggle, as my body knows how to react to this pressure, although I've only experienced something like this once before. Cent, on the other hand, seems to be using all his strength to keep from falling to his knees beside me, his fists tight, and his expression showing strain as beads of sweat forms on his brows. The other two guys around us are panting, doing even worse than Cent is at this point. One barely even qualifies to even be called standing, considering he is hunched over with his hand on his knees. I look back up, and like myself, the Captain doesn’t appear very phased. He grins at me, then grins at Cent and the other guys that are still up.

"Well, it seems you few are strong. You have to be if you want to be able to withstand a Power Shock," the Captain says, stepping closer, "Especially you, young man."

I blink, shocked that he's addressing me.

"Yes Sir?" I say.

"I've never seen a new recruit that was able to withstand the blast as you just did. Have you ever met a Jeweloid before. . . ." the Captain trails off, unsure what my name is.

"I'm 1st Rank Warrant Officer Isugoro Jintez, Sir," I say, saluting him.

He nods, allowing me to go into at ease, grinning brighter. "Well Officer Jintez, have you?" he asks.

"No Sir," I answer simply.

The Captain chuckles, "Well, you're about to."

"Captain Sumpti."

I blink, as does the Captain, both of us turning around to see a man saluting him. My eyes widen in shock as I lay my eyes on him.

It's the same man from earlier, except now I can see him clearly. His eyes are most definitely yellow, dashing any of my rational ideas that I had put forward earlier. His hair is silver, a gold tint to it, and the tattoos that I had seen before now look like lightning bolts in a way against his pale skin. He looks over at me, and chuckles.

"What, something in my teeth son?" he asks, his voice low, but gentle.

"N-No Sir," I stutter, embarrassed that I was caught staring.

He laughs, and takes hold of my shoulder, his grip strong as he shakes me some. "Boy, relax, I'm just messing with you. You'll have to loosen up if you want to be able to work with my friends and I," the man replies.

"Excuse me, Sir?" I question.

"Officer Jintez, this is my good friend Major Kasami, or Jeweloid 002, GOLD." Captain Sumpti says, his gesturing to the man beside him.

I blink.

"So wait, he's one of the special soldiers, Sir?" I ask.

The Major nods.

"That's right," he replies with an amused smile.

"But, you're human, Sir," Cent comments out of the blue, finally over the shock.

The Major looks over at him, and laughs. "What? Were you expecting some robotic looking Terrestrial?" he asks.

"Yes," Cent replies honestly, nodding.

In response, both the Major and the Captain start laughing hysterically, while I rub my temple. I swear, this guy will never grow up, even with his military training, he still acts like what he did when he was ten years old.

"Well Son, what are you good at?" the Major asks, acknowledging Cent now.

"Engineering, Sir." Cent answers.

"Well then, seems you and I will be getting to know each other quite well," the Captain says, "I run the Weapon Development department, and I could use a man like you."

Cent instantly grins, obviously happy to hear something intriguing from this man, as it seems he's been drifting in and out since we got here.

"That would be great, Sir," Cent says, a change of liveliness in his tone.

The Captain grins, then looks around, seeing that finally, all of the other men are up.

"Alright, GOLD will explain Jeweloids to you," the Captain says, before gesturing to the Major.

With that, the Major steps forward, clearing his voice as he looks over us. "To all of you, I look like a normal man, with a few mutations in the hair and eyes, and other physical features. But, in truth, I'm nothing like you," the Major starts.

My brow, like many others, furrows, confused by the statement.

"Anyway, there are a few things that you should know about Jeweloids," he continues, "One: No Jeweloid is the same, each of us has our own personality, and our own abilities. Some of us are stronger physically, others mentally, and others, as you just saw, energetically. Two: . . . Each Jeweloid . . . was once a human being."

Our eyes widen. Personally, I wasn’t expecting anything like this. I thought that the new soldiers were some type of robotic or artificial intelligence. How can advanced beings like I’ve read about have once been human?

"Take myself for instance. I was human, I had brown skin, green eyes, and my hair was most definitely not silver," the Major says as he plays with some of his silver ponytail, causing some of us to chuckle, myself not included, "But really, I am not human, I am of a species all its own. Even though I look somewhat the same, I am not. Three: Jeweloids are hundreds of years old."

Alright, what?

"I myself am 846 years old, I was born in what's currently Calor of the Aesta Island chain; Maui, Hawaii when I was human. Then one day during vacation in Vancouver, I fell through some ice, and I was instantly frozen by the Gold Recalor atoms in the water, and now, I am a Jeweloid, trying to help Vesperia thrive." the Major says.

This time, I’m not the only one flabbergasted by what we were just told, as it seems when I look around, some are wide-eyed, and there are more jaws dropped then I've ever seen in my life. I turn back to face the front, and see that the Major is somewhat smirking.

Then, I hear chuckling beside me, and I look over to see Cent is quietly laughing. His expression isn’t one of light humor, more confusion and strain, which I can understand. Cent is a very logical person, not to mention realistic. So, for something like this to be thrown at him, especially on our first day, is probably a very abstract concept for him to grasp.

"Cent-" I start.

"T-This is a joke, isn't it?" Cent says, obviously very perplexed, "I've done this tones of times with newbies at Liber, you're most definitely pulling a prank."

Yeah, that makes sense. . . . This is all just a prank . . . just a prank. . . .

The Captain and Major watch us for a few moments, quiet as they let Cent’s reaction sink in. Though the Major soon sighs, his expression a bit heavier as he meets Cent’s gaze. "Son, you're thick headed," the Major says, "Unfortunately, I'm not joking. Everything I've told you is absolutely true." Cent's forced calm fades, his composure cracking slightly to expose that he's beyond confused, and will probably not be able to take another explanation. All fall quiet for a minute, before the Major breaths deeply, looking to the rest of us. "Follow us," the Major instructs, walking through the doorway.

As one blob, we move after the Major and the Captain. Even from behind, the two look very dignified, standing tall with their shoulders squared. Keeping in step with the Major, the Captain looks back at the group, his eyes pinned on Cent and I.

"Jintez, Engineer, come here," the Captain says, gesturing to both of us to come forward.

Cent and I look at one another, before we move through the group, coming to stand right behind the two head officers. "What's your name, Engineer?" the Major asks, apparently already passed the awkward encounter of a few minutes ago.

"Uh, I'm Command Sergeant Major Cent Armasons, Sir," Cent answers, a bit hesitant.

"Well then, Jintez, Armasons, you two have appealed the most to us," the Captain says, looking back at us with a grin.

Cent and I perk up. After the back and forth, I don’t think either of us were expecting them to be fans. "We're honored to hear you say that, Sir," I answer, feeling a bit better about myself.

The Major smiles as his eyes lock on me. "Well, I may have you working with me Jintez. I've been looking for someone who could become a type of assistant to me, and learn more about Jeweloids," the Major says, raising an eyebrow, "You up for it young man?"

I nod instantly. "Y-Yes Sir, of course, Sir," I say, smiling brighter than I have in a long time.

This is exactly what I was hoping for . . . a chance to work up close with these guys . . . !

"Alright then, I'll take you to my quarters once we're done with the tour," Major says, before turning back to address everyone, "Gentlemen, this is the Jeweloid Sector. Here, they train, learn modern history, and basically learn everything you know now. Though there are many male Jeweloids, the majority of our Jeweloids are female."

"Score," Cent comments.

"Cent, we aren't here to flirt," I retort.

"What? You have to admit that it'll be awesome once we get some our first Jeweloid girls," Cent says.

"Unfortunately, that won't be possible Armasons," the Captain says, overhearing our conversation.

"What do you mean Sir?" one of the other men in the group say, the first other than Cent or I.

The Captain turns all the way around, and his looks serious, causing all of us to stop. "This is the top law of Gelus, Gentleman. If you are to disobey this law, you will not only be stripped of your current rank, and returned to a Private, but you could face prison," he states with a deeper meaning in his tone. We all blink, looking at one another. After a moment of whispers snaking through the group, he continues, "The top law of Gelus . . . no Human may be in a romantic relationship with a Jeweloid under any circumstances."

"Why, Sir?" Cent asks.

The Captain looks over at him, their eyes meeting.

"Because, Jeweloids cannot have successful intercourse with Humans. Also, there have been horrible situations that have arouse because of the relationship," he explains plainly. Again, we look at each other, the atmosphere very uneasy now as the subject come across. Then, the Captain sighs, "Come Men, follow me to the shooting grounds."

With that, we all stay silent as we're lead though the sector, soon being passed by young women every few moments. Like the Major, they each have bizarre looking hair colors and eyes, even more brilliant against their pale complexions. Though, they definitely aren’t bad looking. In fact, every girl is very pretty, exemplified by Cent, who seems to be in Heaven, checking out each and every one. Though, to his dismay, it seems most of them are more interested in me for some reason, winking and smiling, whispering hello. To their dismay, I simply pass with a grin; nothing more, nothing less. Though, Cent does get quite a few takers, one even putting her barrack number in his hand as she passes, grinning.

It seems the law the Captain was talking about isn’t a favorite among the Jeweloids.

Moving past the thought, I look around to find that we’re now entering a shooting range. The range itself is an amazing sight to see, stretching at least two miles into the distance, not to mention dipping and rising to mimic realistic battle situations. The ceiling is high, about fifty feet up, definitely top of the line for an inside shooting area. Looking straight ahead, we see a Jeweloid at one of the cubbies, her back to us, holding a huge bazooka with a single hand. The first thing you notice about her is her straight burnt orange hair, tied back in a low side ponytail, contrasting against her tanned complexion, the darkest from what I’ve seen so far. Her uniform is yellow and indigo with black trim, her boots similar to the ones I was given for my uniform, though hers are the same bright yellow that's in her uniform. Lastly, and though she's squatting, it’s easy to tell she’s pretty tall, looking to measure around Cent's height.

"Gentlemen, this is Jeweloid 060, QUARTZ. She is our top shooter in the Large Weapons Unit, and today, she's going to help us present one of the amazing things about Jeweloids," the Captain explains, before turning towards her, "QUARTZ, power up."

"Yes, Sir," she replies, looking through the view finder as she lifts the bazooka up to sit it on her shoulder. My eyes widen in surprise as I watch her movements, astonished that she’s hardly phased by the weight of the enormous weapon. Cent on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to that trait. He grins, and leans over to whisper to me.

"She has an accent, must be from the South," he comments.

I fall slightly without thinking. "You know the rule," I reply.

"I know, I know, just saying that it's cute," he answers, trying to claim innocence.

I roll my eyes.

"Now, she's aiming for a target that cannot be seen from where we are currently. Though, using her ability to track, she is able to find it and lock onto it," the Major explains.

"Target sited Sir," she says on Que.

"Prepare for the shot," he answers.

"Yes, Sir." With that, she takes a deep breath, and before long, the atmosphere shifts. The air comes to stand still. Cent and I look at each other, before we begin to see this dim light beginning to form all around her, the hue a light yellow. Her presence begins to spark to life, and within one second the light around her grows to be almost blinding, causing us to shade our eyes with our hands. As this happens, I can see some of the lights on the bazooka lighting up, coming to life with her power. "Full power, Sir," QUARTZ says, "Permission to fire."

"Permission granted," the Captain replies.

"Fire in the hole!" Quartz yells.

With that, she pulls the trigger, causing a great blast of light to fly at almost impossible speeds in the distance, only milliseconds passing before we all see the grand explosion in the distance. The shock wave shoots towards us at lightning speed, the impact much more powerful than the first energy blast we experienced. This time, even Cent goes down, I myself straining to stay standing straight. I start to pant, my body trembling under the pressure. Though, I hear harder panting coming from in front of us, and I look up to see that QUARTZ is on her hands and knees, her bazooka still in the holder.

"Target hit . . . Sir," she says in between breaths.

"Well done QUARTZ, you're off for the rest of the day," the Major says, his voice kind as he walks over to her, "And for your willingness to help, I'm letting you take the day off tomorrow."

She laughs as she looks up at me. "Why thank ya, Sir," she says, taking his hand that's reached out to her, standing.

"Damn, that packed a punch," Cent comments rather loudly, using my arm to help himself stand.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see QUARTZ’s head turn, her face not facing us. I hear a light hearted chuckle, followed shortly by a warm, mezzo toned voice. "Well, I'd hope so, that's one of my best attacks, boy," QUARTZ says, obviously responding to Cent.

Cent smirks, apparently amused by her innocent comeback. "Yeah, yeah, well, that was pretty well done. . . ." Cent starts as he looks up, trailing off all of a sudden. I blink, and glance over at him. What I see is something I honestly wasn’t expecting. He looks totally blind-sided, his eyes wider than normal as he stares straight ahead, not even blinking.

My brow furrows, and I follow his line of sight, surprised by what is on the other end.

Now I am not one to normally be taken by women, but I won’t lie when I admit QUARTZ is very attractive. Her sharp, warm eyes are the same bright hue as her hair, her nose, ears, and bully-button pierced. She has tattooing that frames her eyes and belly-button, looking similar to barbed wire, with small circles in the pattern. Her body is, well, voluptuous, though she definitely carries herself with grace and sophistication that displays her as a smart woman. While one could say she appears edgy, in juxtaposition, she carries an air of warmth and gentleness that just makes her approachable. I grin at her, though she’s too distracted by Cent to notice me.

"Miss. . . ." Cent trails, breaking the silence.

My eyes widen. Cent has never called a girl "Miss" in his whole life, so for him to start now means one thing, and one thing only.

He has a crush.

I nudge him. "Cent," I say strictly. My voice pulls his eyes off her, then meets mine, the sight something I've never seen before. After a moment, he glances back at her, showing an apologetic grin, before his eyes focus back on something in the corner. Her response, is something similar, but a bit more disappointed as she looks down. Oddly enough, neither the Captain nor the Major do anything but watch, at least until the Captain sighs.

"QUARTZ, you are dismissed," the Captain says.

"Yes, Sir," she says with a weaker tone, walking though the group in a way that allows her to pass right next to Cent. She slows slightly as she comes beside him, whispering loud enough only for really the two of us to hear, "My real name is Sammy."

Cent blinks, looking after her for a moment, then grins, turning back to the front. The Captain watches him for a moment, before he breathes a deep breath. "Alright Gentlemen, follow me to the cafeteria, and we'll discuss your diet out here in the mountains," the Captain says, beginning to file us out of the shooting range.

As we begin to walk out, I feel something catch my arm, causing me to turn. I blink in surprise, as it's the Major.

"Sir?-" I start.

"C'mon, I'm taking you to my division," he says, "I’ve already told Captain Sumpti, so follow me."

"Y-Yes Sir," I answer, doing as he says as we turn the opposite way of the rest of the group.

He chuckles. "Son, you can call me Kasami," the Major comments, "I'm not fond of being called by my title by my associates, got that Son?"

I nod, replying, "Alright Si-"

"Eh, what did I just say?" he asks.

I sigh, giving a grin. "Sorry, bad habits die hard, as my mom always says," I say.

He grins, laughing a bit. "My mom said the same thing to me. Guess a few things haven't changed in this world," Kasami comments.

"So, you're really 846 years old?" I find myself asking.

"Yep, I was frozen in the ice for a little over 800 years," he answers, acting totally nonchalant about his words.

"Sounds like Hell,” I comment.

"Well, I don't remember any of the time I was in the ice, neither does any of the other Jeweloids. I just thought I had fallen asleep like I do every night. But then, I found myself surrounded by scientists, all telling me different things, the biggest being that the year is 2997."

I watch him for a few moments. He seems a bit more depressed, probably thinking back about his life, the life he lost. It must be hard.

"I'm sorry Kasami," I say honestly.

He grins bitter sweetly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Son," he replies.

I grin. "So, what are we gonna be-" Without warning, a high pitched alarm begins sounding from above, almost blasting out my ear drums. "What the hell-!" I start.

"Oh my, this is a Code 054,"Kasami says, his eyes wide as he gestures to me, "Follow me Son, quickly."

"What, why?" I call after him as he runs off ahead.

"We have a new comrade coming in," he says.

"What?-"

"A new Jeweloid has been discovered."

My eyes widen. "R-Really?!" I stutter.

"Yes Son, amazing timing: your first case on your first day," he says with a broad smile.

"Major Kasami!"

We both turn as we see another person running after us, a woman, a Human woman in a white coat. She’s tall, maybe 5’ 8”, though has a rather small figure, with sandy blonde straight hair, cut at an angle, and wears a rectangular pair of glasses, framing her deep emerald eyes. She glances at me for a second, her eyes appearing to widen, though she quickly adverts her eyes, picking up her pace to now be beside Kasami.

"Anyola, what is it?" Kasami asks.

"This is a major one Sir," she says as she brings out a rod, clicking the button on the top to activate the hologram screen. Instantly, a bright screen of multiple spreads appears, each reading different data and other facts. Kasami looks over for only a moment, before he turns his eyes back on the winding passage.

"How major?" Kasami asks, leading us down an adjacent hall.

"This is like a glacier of ice. I have never seen this big of a piece in this program Sir," Anyola comments as she scans the screen.

I look over at Kasami. "How big are the things of ice usually?" I ask.

"Only a bit bigger than a usual person on a normal occasion," Kasami answers, "And if it's big, I know one thing."

"What?" I ask.

"This Jeweloid is going to be strong."

With that, we finally reach a real hanger like chamber, and our eyes widening bigger than I've ever known as we see a great piece of ice hanging from a metal claw above. "Holy . . . crap. . . ." I trail as we walk in, not paying attention as Kasami tells the guards that I'm with him.

"Man, that's not a piece, that's a freaking ice berg," Kasami comments to himself, before he looks over at Anyola, "How should we do this?"

"That's something you're supposed to be figuring out, Sir," Anyola replies.

While they discuss, I look toward the ice in amazement. Then, after a moment, I begin to question my eyes, feeling like I can actually see a mass. I walk forward with my eyes focused on the thing deep within the berg. It's some type of shape, or object, and as I’m finally able to make it out, I realize what it is.

A girl.

She looks to be trying to swim, probably her last attempt to get free before she was encased in the ice. I can't tell what color her hair is, but it seems that even though she's frozen, her hair has actually grown through the air pockets in the ice, showing that her hair is curly. She's wearing a thick coat, snow pants, and furry boots, meaning she must originally from somewhere in the North.

I walk closer, and for some reason, no one stops me, something you would think someone would do, considering this is only my first day. For the first time, I glance away from her, and am shocked to find that without realizing it, I have walked all the way to now be standing right underneath the berg. If there’s any give in the suspension, I'll be as flat as a pancake, though I don’t care. I'm entranced by her, wanting to see her face clearly, though at my current position, all I can see is the underside of her chin.

This girl. . . .

Before I had realize, a strange sensation had sparked to life in my gut, and was now spreading throughout my body. It’s something similar to a feeling I’ve felt before, but I haven’t felt that in years, so if anything, my mind is just playing games with me. My mind is focused solely on the intrigue I feel for the girl above, though as to why I am, well, it’s the same situation as the sensation now beginning to crawl into the higher part of my spine.

"Jintez, you might want to back up, we're going to break the ice," I hear Kasami say from behind me.

"How do you do that?" I reply, still unmoved.

"Well, basically, we take an ice pick, and keep hitting at the surface until it cracks all the way through. Or, if it's thicker, we put it through a heater to melt it, though only until the Jeweloid is near reach, but still fully encased. We don't want to hurt them," Kasami explains.

"Though there have been times when the Jeweloids themselves have been able to get out, but this ice is too thick for this young girl to be able to do something like that," Anyola adds as she still plays with data on the holograph rod.

"How do they do it?" I ask.

"Well, something sparks their power, whether it be a word, or action, but when it happens, the Jeweloid wakes up," Anyola explains.

"Ah. . . ." I trail off, still consumed in my own thoughts.

I wonder who this girl is. . . . Where is she from? . . . When was she born? . . . What's her name?-

"You sure do ask a bunch of questions."

My eyes widen in alarm. I just heard a girl's voice in my head!

"Don't panic, stupid. God, I swear, you're such an idiot.”

It's now I realize I'm not in the same place. I'm outside in the wilderness, in an open field of tall grasses and wild flowers. I've never been to such a place, but it seems nice here. I look to see that the field is surrounded by a lush tree line, and in the distance right in front of me is a waterfall, a mountain top gleaming in the sunlight off in the far distance. I grin as the warm spring breeze blows past my face, the smell that of the near flowers and other plants.

"Hello? Earth to Isugoro."

I blink, and look over my shoulder to see a girl staring at me. My eyes widen as I take her in. She's beautiful, much more stunning than the girls that I passed going through the Jeweloid Sector, even more so than QUARTZ. I can't see much of her lower body, or even her chest, but what I can see dominantly are her striking duel colored eyes, deep blue melting into wisps of yellow near the middle. Her slim, but gently curved cheeks have curly tattoos, telling me that she must be a Jeweloid. I can't tell what color her hair is at the moment, too drawn in by her face.

Though, I’m taken back as she groans in annoyance, rolling her eyes. "Damn, you're annoying, and you won't speak. Now, say something," she says, her middle range voice sewn with fire and elegance.

"S-Sorry," I stutter.

Again she rolls her eyes. "Just follow me, will ya?” she instructs as she turns away, before suddenly disappears.

"H-Hey!" I call, "Come back!"

"Call me by name, idiot!"

"Jintez."

I blink, and look around, finding myself back in the hanger, Kasami looking at me with concern as he and Anyola now stand beside me under the ice. "Y-Yes?" I ask, still a bit unsure of what just happened.

"You weren't responding, you alright?" Kasami asks.

I nod in response. "Yes Sir, I just saw . . ." I trail, finding something implanted in my head from the vision.

He raises an eyebrow. "Saw what, Son?" he asks.

"Sorry, I just have a random name stuck in my head," I say. Again and again, the name runs past my eyes, sounding in my head, irritating the Hell out of me.

"What name?" Kasami asks.

I look up at him.

". . . Maggie," I say.

CRACK!

All of us look up in alarm as we hear the ice above us beginning to shatter, a light forming from inside the ice. We all gape in shock, but it’s not long before Kasami regains his senses, pulling at Anyola and I. "She's woken up!" Kasami calls, "Everyone get back!"

"Sir, she won't be able to break out! It's too thick!" Anyola says as we run out from under the ice.

"I seriously doubt your thinking Anyola," Kasami says, "This girl must be strong. I guess that name was her trigger."

"Maggie?" I say.

Kasami nods. "How'd you know that name, Son?" he asks as we finally reach a safe location, standing behind a steel shelter outfitted with large enforced bullet proof windows.

I shrug. “I’m not sure, Sir," I answer truthfully.

With that, the room goes completely silent. The air falls still, just like it had when QUARTZ had paused before firing. Suddenly, we're all having to get down as the ice literally explodes, flying in huge chunks all over the room. Some hits the wall behind us and lands beside me, my eyes widening in surprise as it seems the ice is glowing, then slowly morphs into a blue mass, yellow specks appearing as it takes on the appearance of a gem stone. I look around, and see that other chunks are doing the same, becoming a more gem like material than the ice it really is. That's when I glance up, my eyes wide as I see the girl suspended in midair by her own power. Though, it’s not long before it looks to be dying out, as the light becomes weaker, dimmer.

"Sir-" I start.

"She's strong," Kasami comments, bewildered in a way by this new comrade.

Then without warning, she begins to fall, still unconscious.

I don't really know what happens next, as the next thing I'm know, I'm panting, and an unconscious girl is cradled in my arms. I guess my instinct to protect kicked in, and I must have caught her, but really, the whole thing is a blur. I shake my head a bit, before looking down at her. My eyes widen in alarm as I register her face. It's the same girl from that vision!

Now, I can tell that her hair is dark blue, the same shade as the gems now lying around us. Her bangs are long, grown far past her cheeks to probably be about to her thighs, the rest of it is probably triple my height. From holding her, I can tell she isn't that tall, maybe 5' 5", maybe 5' 6", and doesn't weigh too much.

I'm enchanted by her . . . who exactly are you Maggie?

Comments & reviews · 11
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ChimeraMania
Comment
ChimeraMania commented Comment · Dec 10, 2014

Tears in my eyes. I love this chapter

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cgirl1118
Review
cgirl1118 wrote a review Review · Nov 12, 2014

Wow first chapter and I'm in love. While reading I always try to imagine how the scene looks like. For this I want to know how the surrounds are and not just how each character looks like. You describe characters perfectly but maybe do the same for settings. Otherwise, this is going to be an amazing story.
Can't wait to see who Maggie is!

Thanks for the input, I'll try to remember that for future reference :3

~Maddie

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Kale
Review
Kale wrote a review Review · Mar 20, 2014

Many reviews on this one, as well, I spy, so again, I'll start with talking all about that image at the start.

As much as a really liked the image in the Introduction, the image at the start of this chapter just doesn't have the same impact, and it actually hurts the first impression of this chapter because it's nowhere near as polished as the image in the previous section. Additionally, the color choice for the border is quite eye-searing (and this is coming from someone who is partially green-blind), and when coupled with how long the image is in addition to how much white space there is up top, the image feels like more of a hindrance than an asset.

While this isn't a bad picture by any means, its placement at the start of the chapter doesn't help make a good first impression of the chapter. Rather, with how long the image is, it's more annoying than beneficial as there's a lot of scrolling needed to reach the text of the chapter itself. Rather than inserting the images into the story, I think it would be a better idea to create a thread in the Writers Corner to post related images and even informational asides, like the Dictionary. That way, people who enjoy your story can enjoy all the lovely extras without those extras intruding upon the story itself. A wonderful example of this can be seen over in TheSunChildren's Appendix Thread.

About human eye colors: people can actually have yellow eyes, though it's rare. They're most commonly called amber, and depending on the person and the lighting, they can range from looking like a very pale brown to full-on gold. I once saw a family whose children, including the toddler, all had full-on gold eyes, and it was incredible. If you're talking about a yellow that isn't within the amber range, then you'll need to be a bit more specific with your description.

Also, that window must have been pretty close by if they could distinguish eye color unaided. Eye color becomes more difficult to determine the farther away you are, so it's something to keep in mind when you describe eye color.

One other thing: QUARTZ is in uniform, so how are they able to see that her belly-button is pierced? That's not generally an area that's visible with most dress codes.

PiesAreSquared wrote a review Review · Jan 26, 2014

Alright here to review. This has been a fantastic chapter, enough meat but not too much, with a good bone structure. This chapter I feel has been rushed. Misspellings and grammar mistakes abound and must be corrected. There is a certain hurried feel to the story writing, which I think should be rather slow paced, considering the number of events in this chapter. Am I correct?
I will first look at some of the ways improvement can be made in the way the story is told before moving on to the story itself. I will not give hints to every sentence I find disconcerting.
...Cent gives me his signature "You gotta be joking" stare, meaning he doesn't believe me. Not one bit...
If I give anyone a “You gotta be joking” stare without any qualifiers, it implies that I do not believe them. Therefore, repetition. Split this up into two sentence makes it much nicer to read. “Cent gives me his [stare]. He does not believe, not even a bit.” Alright. To signature stare. Different people do this stare differently, so you have to give at least a brief explanation of how it looks like.
...And it's at this point, that I'm hit with a large energy blast...
Start not a sentence with “and.” It does not usually end well!
...Now, in the group, there's about 30 guys, including Cent and myself, and with this blast, about 4 of us still remain standing....
Start not a sentence with such a topic with “now.” It sounds awkward. Like a conversation filler.
..."So wait, he's one of the special soldiers, Sir?" I ask....
Unless you want heads to roll, never speak to a superior officer in such a manner unless permitted to, especially since Goro is not an officer himself. That is, unless society is so different here that Majors salute Captains and Warrant Officers can implicitly order Captains to hold.

On to the Plot. There are several things I want to note.
Recruits with high rank, I do not understand. Why would recruits have a rank other than recruits? You could call them newly assigned, but they are certainly not new.
There are two major acts. The tour and the release of Maggie. As far as this chapter goes, this is not bad for an opening. I have no suggestions for plot improvement at this point other than to repeat my opening statements.
Keep Writing! I try to keep my review word count low, and try not to repeat the others...I might have though.

Grammar does get better! Yes, I wrote chapters 1-4 in late 2012 - early 2013 so they're a bit worse grammatically than the later chapters. I'll point out some in a pm.
I'll be sure to take ur comments into account, thanks a lot.
~Maddie

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Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Dec 8, 2013

Hey Serene!

I finally got round to reading this chapter. Sorry that it has taken so long! I'm mighty glad I did though, because this story is wonderful! It's so captivating and amazing, and I really think it's like a book which should be published. It's good enough in quality for it. I also really like the idea you're working with here, the Jeweloid's and the forbidden love. Making the love forbidden makes it easy to predict that both Cent and Jintez might have a relationship anyways. But I'm sure you'll be able to mix it up in an entertaining way.

As you said as a reply to my last review, the description definitely does get better the further in we are going to the story. Keep it up. It's truly enchanted me :) Let's move on to the small mistakes I saw, or things that needed improving. It's mostly just technical stuff. By that I mean grammar, punctuation or just vocabulary range.

that, I quickly poke him in his weak spot, on his back, on inch to the left of the middle of his back.


You should cut out the 'on his back' in the middle of the sentence because in the next bit you mention that the area is on his back again! It gets too repetitive otherwise.

You use a lot of 'with that' as a paragraph opener. It starts to get a bit too repetitive again, so just shake it up every now and again. Suddenly, following this, next... words like that can replace it. Within context of course.

I blink.

"So wait, he's one of the special soldiers, Sir?" I ask.

Major nods.

"That's right." he replies


You don't have to start a new line for every action. Yes, if it is a different speaker, then you need to. But actions by the same speaker? They can be on the same line. For example that quote would be:

I blink. "So wait, he's one of the special soldiers, Sir?" I ask.

Major nods, "That's right."

You even cut out some unnecessary words there if you do it ;)

I'm straining to stay stand straight.


...to stay standing straight.

QUARTZ or quatz. You switch between the two. I think you should just choose one, and stick to it.

I hope this was helpful! I will be continuing on to the other chapters as well.

Deanie x

It's supposed to be QUARTZ, I guess I missed one XDD

Thanks so much for the advice! I've never actually known how to correctly do dialogue in between actions, but that really helps ^^

I'm happy you're enjoying this so far and continue to read
And yes, I actually do wish to publish LAPIS once I get the first book (yeah. it's long) done ^^
~Maddie

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JayBlu
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JayBlu wrote a review Review · Sep 20, 2013

This is completely mesmerizing. The story line is getting deeper and I myself am beginning to wonder about this Maggie girl.

One question I have, you explained why Humans and Jeweloids can't exactly mix with each other, but you never really gave a decent explanation as to what happened that made everything this way.

Other then that I was just going to say Cent is a horndog as people around here call it. I gotta say I like the way the character's are being developed and I feel Isugoro is going to play a very important role somewhere, though of course that should be obvious. Dont even know why I mentioned that.

Later.

horndog? Wait, are you from Alaska???
If you are, dear God, I need your assistance later on XD
The Jeweloid/Human thing is explained later when Maggie is more into it

Thanks again, continue to comment!
~Maddie

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LittleFox
Review
LittleFox wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Alright, you already know I love this, but now it's time to go into detail! I love that theres always something going on to keep the reader's interest peaked. There's a good balance between action and dull moments. The voice in this is really great too. And the story itself is pretty original. I have very little to criticize. There are some parts that could use better flow, but all in all, great job Maddie! Hope you continue to post More on here because I really want to read more! Never stop writing!

I never shall stop! I vow it Morgan! LOL
Thanks love! XD

InfiniteSnowfall wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Hey there!

This is a really good first chapter. It wasn't boring at all, even if most of the chapter was information. The pacing is really nice. Also, I like how you distributed the information throughout the writing. There was a lot of information, but you managed to get it all onto paper (digital paper?) without it being an info-dump. Great job!

As you can probably tell, I really like this so far. It was a little on the long side, but I enjoyed it nonetheless I liked the sort of military mixed with science fiction/fantasy.

Now for the review.

As you already know, there are some grammar mistakes and such. I understand that this is such a long read that it can be hard to pick out all of them. So, I'll help you out a little. :)

Instantly, he shuts up, trying to keep his knee from giving as it usually does when I do it, his teeth clentched.

~ Edit: clenched

Now, in the group, there's about 30 guys, including Cent and myself, and with this blast, about 4 of us still remain standing.

~ Suggestion: The numbers could be spelt out instead, making it look more neat and professional.

You have to be if you want to be able to withstand the an Anima Iaculat."

~ 'with the an Anima laculat.'
With the an? I think you accidentally added one too many words there. It could be either just 'with the Anima laculat' or 'with an Anima laculat'.
I don't even know what a Anima laculat is, so I'm not sure which would work best. :)

He laughs, and takes hold of my shoulder, his grip strong as he shakes me some.

~ This sentence sounds a little weird because of the word 'some'. Maybe a different word would sound better. Just a thought.

Those are just some that I thought I would mention. I really enjoyed reading this. If you can, please let me know when you post more chapters. Good luck with editing and happy writing!

Yours till the Chocolate Chips,
Snow

Thank you for your review, I'll be uploading the rest soon, so be looking :D

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kazza
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kazza commented Comment · Aug 25, 2013

Brilliant, I thoroughly enjoyed this story - it reminds me of a program, anyway about the story, it simply an amazing idea that has kept its interest the whole way through. Improvements - check your spelling.
Your description was superb with fantastic adjectives used - adverbs too. I liked the cliff hanger where you've left off at the end - simply magical, something a child of eleven to fifteen would thoroughly enjoy as I did. I see pure talent in your writing son, keep going, the whole community would be counting on you if they had read this. Well done ~ Kazza

I'm glad you enjoyed it XD

Grammar hates me lol, I will definitely keep looking through it to find the mistakes. Thank you for saying that :D

I hope you'll continue reading!
~Maddie

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manisha
Review
manisha wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

?Hi Serene!
Happy review day!
manisha here to review!

As this is kinda long I'll review as I read.

Though, it's the man that must of caught Cent's eye.
'must of' isn't grammatically correct. I've seen many who use it. It is a common mistake for many think that when someone says "must've" they here "must of". It is like peopel using "your" in place of "you're" because they sound same. Unless you're using it is on purpose(the character might be someone who makes that mistake) it is not right.

. At first look, he looks like an other normal guy, but take another look, and you see that the man has tattoos on both sides of his face
an other is one word- another.

You have to be if you want to be able to withstand the a Anima Iaculat."
I guess the 'a' before Anima Iaculat is a typo.

"Well Son, what are you good at?" the Major asks.
Son doesn't have to be capitalized.

Cent and I look at each other, before we begin to see this dim light beginning to fom all around her, the hue a light yellow.
Typo. Fom is form.

Whoa!
You have a great story going on here!
You have excellent flow and description! I was gripped from the very start!
I like the concept of the Jeweloids. You do not try to overload us with a lot of information but slowly ease the different concepts. I am immediately drawn to Maggie. She seems to have the power to telecommunicate. Also in the start Goro is the one who tries to keep his friend Cent in check when he starts to flirt with the Jeweloids. Now, it looks like Goro has fallen for Maggie. I predict a love story between the two.

Overall, I loved it! I would love to read more of it! You have a few typos here and there, but they can be corrected with a re-read.

Please post on my wall when the next chapter is up!

Hope I helped!
You keep writing Serene!

-manisha

Typos, such evil things XD
I will check those out, thank you ^^

Yeah, that is obvious that there's a love story, it's more ironic in this chapter than any, considering the previous events with Cent LOL

You will like Maggie, she is my most popular character to date on dA, other than my Bleach OC, and is my personal favorite as well :D

I hope you will continue reading ^^
~Maddie

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ArcticMonkey
Review
ArcticMonkey wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Heya Serene! Here to review as promised :)

I'll start off with what I liked about this chapter and I guess that's just to do with it carries on nicely from the last part. We're getting more hints about who this mysterious girls is and whether that premonition is going to come true- we learn loads more about the characters which is always good- and what I particularly like about that here is that you always do it through showing not telling.

The hall is wide, lighted with bright white rod lights lining the walls, and larger ones above on the ceiling.

To repeat 'light' and 'bright' here sounds a bit off because those two words were in the last sentence.

Not to my knowledge yet, this chick is gonna be the cause for most of my new problems here, but will also change the path of my life.

I dislike this line because it's kind of revealing everything that's about to happen, and I'd rather learn that through reading the rest of the story,

Okay I think my main issue with this piece was the pace of it, it was just way too slow! Everything happened really slowly and it really wasn't as engaging as it could've been. In all honesty, I couldn't quite understand what was going on a lot of the time until right at the very end when that girl was mentioned. I think it's great to be detailed, but I think here it was a bit too much. Either that or I think it's the variation in this piece. There would be one section which just had descriptions, then one with dialogue, then one with actions. Instead of this you should try and merge it all together and vary it more so that it's a bit different and the reader stays engaged.

I think however a bigger reason for this is the amount of dialogue that is in this, and how much of it is so close together. I actually noticed this in the Introduction, but I think there it worked because it was funny and didn't seem to slow, but here because there's so much of it- again it's about variation- and it gets a bit boring. Dialogue is a great way to learn about the characters and who things that are going on, but too much would mean it starts to get slightly boring and I found myself losing interest in it.

Overall, I thought this was a good addition to your story but needs some brushing up. I mean, I think a strong point of this piece is the idea of your story, and really that's the most important thing because you can always practise your writing but it's hard to practise coming up with good ideas. I hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you'd like another review on anything.

Keep writing!
~ArcticMonkey x

Again, please blame the manga-ka in me. XD
Again, horrible excuse, but that is the real reason that this is happening XDD
I did this whole manga in a week of another of my shorter storylines, and it was so much easier, because I don't have to give details about the scenery or expressions, cause you can see it!

I do know this is very slow, that is obvious to even me XDD

I call this the "calm" chapter, cause after this, a lot, I mean, A LOT of things will happen very quickly, especially once you get to the giant that is Chapter 6. This is the boring chapter that just gets us more acquainted with our main Isugoro, gives us more intel on the situation and introduces the idea of Jeweloids, gives a small intro to a later major character (I bet if you look through, you'll know who I'm speaking of), before finally giving us our main focus of this story, Maggie. I think you'll like her, she does more actions than talking, and from the reaction she's gotten on dA, her personality is well-rounded.

Thanks!
~Maddie



HONK
— The Golden Goose