LAPIS :Chapter 30: (THE FINAL CHAPTER)

by SereneSimpliciT

Published February 19, 2015

12+

In LAPIS

"Hey, Isugoro."

"Good morning, Jintez."

"Hi, Isugoro."

"Hello, Goro."

"How are you, Jintez?"

I grin, chuckling as I acknowledge all the familiar faces passing me. "I'm good, nice to see all of you," I answer.

The Jeweloid cafeteria this morning is how it normally is, lively and spirited. I've become accustom to the normal groups of Jeweloids, giggling as they walk up to me while I'm in line, and sparking up conversation about whatever it is on their minds. Normally, it's the females, but occasionally, a few males do come up as well, though they actually seem to be asking me to help them with a girl most of the time.

Though, it's not long before they all pass, and I'm walking towards my normal table, where I can see Sammy already discussing something with Cent, while Anna, RUBY as I once knew her, sits and watches. Her eyes then turn, and land on me, brightening as she sees me approaching. "Goro!" she says, standing and skipping over to me, taking my sleeve to pull me forward, "Sit next to me today!"

"Haha, alright," I laugh, following her to the empty spot in between her and Cent.

Cent looks back at us, and grins, chuckling as he sets his eyes on Anna, "I don't think Goro is going to go anywhere."

Anna's peppy expression cools as she meets Cent's eyes, frowning. "I'm well aware of that, as is everyone else here. There is a status quo set, and I believe all are happy with it, so why would they mess it up?" Anna questions, her tone and speech abruptly matured.

"That's not what I meant-" Cent starts.

"Are you being dumb then?" she interrupts, “I mean, you are of a lower caliber of thought than Isugoro by a few miles, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.”

Cent's eye twitches, thus prompting the start to our normal breakfast conversations. Sammy and I look to each other and sigh, smiles crossing our faces as we watch the unfolding of another Cent vs. Anna argument.

"No, I am not being dumb," Cent says, looking down to start picking though his scrambled eggs, "I was just trying to be funny-"

"Well that was a poor excuse of a joke, if I do say so myself," Anna replies with a slight rise of her shoulders, "And as I can see quite well, everyone else here seems to agree with me on that fact."

"Maybe it's because you took it too seriously," Cent retorts.

"Not in the least, I just answered what you said with a mature response that your immature mind couldn't correctly process," Anna says with a grin. Cent looks back up at her, obviously not amused by her words.

"What is it, Penny-" Anna starts.

"It's Cent," he interrupts, "That joke was never funny."

"Seriously, I haven't even sat down yet, and they're already going at it full on?"

I blink, turning around to see Savannah standing right behind me, her eyes locked on Cent and Anna's stare down. I chuckle, "Yeah, they started early."

Savannah grins, laughing to herself as she sits in between Sammy and I, "How like them."

"I'm older than you!" Cent answers, pulling us back into their drama.

"That's not true," she explains, "In terms of how long my consciousness has been around, I am of the mindset of a twenty-three or twenty-four year old. That makes me a good two or three years older than you and Goro. Sammy is four or five years younger!"

"Actually-" Sammy starts.

"At least I don't look like a kid," Cent mutters, finally looking away from Anna as he takes a sip of his water.

Suddenly, Anna's calm demeanor shatters, her eyes widening and her face turning bright red, almost the same hue as her hair. Her eyes race back and forth, trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. "S-Shut up! It's not like I chose to be stuck like this!" she cries, embarrassed.

"And tears in three-" Savannah says.

"Two-" Sammy continues.

"One-" I start.

“You're so mean!" Anna shouts, tears starting to stream down her face. As she cups her face in her hands, I stare at Cent, who seems to purposefully looking away from me. Though, he can't keep his eyes from meeting mine forever, and once they're connected, I gesture to Anna. He gives me a drawn out annoyed expression, before he sighs, looking back down at his food. "I'm sorry, you're not a little kid," Cent apologizes almost robotically, "You're really pretty and will one day marry a really attractive guy-"

"Really, you think so?" Anna says, her tears stopped and a wide smile plastered on her face as she looks at Cent.

He nods, "Yep."

"Yay, thanks!" Anna laughs.

"Geh," Cent mutters. I chuckle. He can't win against her, no matter how hard he tries.

Sammy smiles, looking over at Cent as she asks, "Why do you say anything if you know that's what will happen?"

"Wishful thinking, I guess," Cent replies, causing her to laugh. He turns to look back at her, and his eyes widen, surprised to see she scooted closer to him, which he had missed due to his previous stare down. Before he can look away, his face starts to redden, causing Sammy's brow to furrow.

"What? Do you feel ok?" she asks.

"I feel fine," Cent replies, turning away.

Sammy blinks in confusion, and the rest of us simply grin. He really can't win.

"Why do you come here for breakfast if you know all this will happen, Armasons?" Savannah asks before taking a bite of her bagel.

"Because . . . they're all annoying," Cent trails, trying to come up with an excuse. He looks at me, looking for help.

"That, and his morning duties are closer to here than the other cafeteria, so Captain Sumpti told him to eat in here to assure he's not late like he used to be," I explain, covering any blunder the others might have seen.

The others look to each other, then shrug. Sammy grins, "Do whatever works for you. I'm sorry if we're a bother-"

"You're not!" Cent answers quickly, before he pulls back, "I mean, you guys are nice."

"Smooth," Anna comments.

"Shut it," Cent snaps.

Savannah and I laugh, before we continue on with eating and normal conversation. I smile inwardly as I watch, happy to see the peace that has come over everyone recently. It's been five months since the execution, and since, not much has really happened. Well, at least not here at Gelus. Southern Orienus and Vesperia have been the main targets by the Noxcus recently, so the bases here in the north are all on standby in case back up is needed. For us, although we're also on standby, it's highly unlikely that we'll be called up, since we're one of the farthest away. Liber, on the other hand, is probably really busy, since it's the farthest southern base in the Northern hemisphere besides Quator.

I sigh. The peace here is fragile, but it's been really good for us.

Thinking over the past few month, I myself haven't done that much. I've just been training with Marcus and Savannah every day and helping Kasami when I'm needed. My day normally consists of breakfast, a few hour training session with Marcus, lunch, another training session with Savannah, a wrap up hour with both, and then, if I have enough time, I go to see Kasami and see if anything has been reported. To my dismay, every time I have, there's still no word.

I haven't heard anything for quite some time, even though I have been kept in the program as the first candidate for a Class Zero Partner. It's not anything official, since the Class Zero herself isn't even at Gelus, but Kasami wanted to keep me abled and informed just in case anything came up. Though, it's starting to seem pointless, since there's been nothing ever since she left. It's gotten to the point that some days, I start to question whether or not she'll ever come back.

A tinge of hibernating anxiety sparks as the thought peeks to the front of my mind. If she didn’t come back, my training wouldn't be for nothing, I've noticed that I've gotten a bit bigger and my strength has grown. I'm much more agile and I'm a point now that Marcus and I can spare for a good time now, before he eventually takes me out, which I've accepted as just how it is. But even so, the meaning behind it all would collapse and I'd have no reason continuing the struggle if it turned out she wasn't going to return. A swimming sense of dread begins to eat at me, but I have to push it back. It’s not like. I have to believe that.

"Goro!"

"Huh, what?" I say, startled.

The others laugh, coming back into my vision as I realize I got lost in thought. Savannah smiles big, obviously aware of what I thinking, "Thinking of your Jeweloid girl?"

"No-" I start.

"Now, now, we don't need to get into all that today," Cent interrupts, before he meets my eyes, "Did you hear what Sammy just said?"

"Uh, no, sorry," I say honestly.

Sammy chuckles, "It's fine, Goro . . . But I said that I'm actually twenty-one now. I have been for about three months."

My eyes widen. "What? Really?" I ask.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Anna asks.

Suddenly, Sammy's eyes fall. "I forgot . . ." she says, "I didn't remember my birthday."

The table falls quiet. My brow furrows as I recall being told that Jeweloids are prone to memory loss, but I didn't think it'd be as extreme as forgetting your own birthday.

Then, Cent perks a bit, "But, you do now, and we'll make sure you don't forget again."

Sammy's expression turns to shock as she looks over at him, and slowly, red rises in her face. Then, a warm smile forms on her cheeks, and she giggles. "Thank you," she replies.

"What made you remember?" I ask, curious.

"Her birthday," Sammy replies.

Savannah looks confused, "Her?"

"Oh, sorry," Sammy laughs, "My best friend, her birthday was a few days ago. When I remembered that, for some reason my own birthday popped into my head."

"You really did love your best friend if you remember more about her than yourself," Anna comments.

Sammy smiles, "She was like a sister to me. Of course I loved her. I mean, she's the reason I'm this way."

"What do you mean?" Cent asks.

Her expression changes suddenly, looking away as if she's said too much. Cent and I look at each other, before I start, "Sammy, what is it-"

"Isugoro?"

We all turn in surprise to see Anyola standing beside me, a smile fixed on her face. In return, I fake a smile back. "Oh, hi Anyola," I say.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but do you mind coming with me?" Anyola asks, "I have something to run over with you."

My eyes widen. "Like what?" I question.

"It's something private, I'm sorry," she replies, looking honestly apologetic.

After a moment, I sigh, and turn back to the group. "Sorry, I'll see you guys later," I say as I stand, taking my leftovers in my hand.

Everyone smiles sadly. "It's alright, I'll let Marcus know that you're with her," Savannah replies.

"Thanks, see ya," I answer. I look back at Sammy to see she's still quiet, now thinking to herself beside Cent, who appears concerned. He looks at me, and makes a motion with his eyes, relaying that he'll take care of it. I nod, before I turn and begin to walk off with Anyola. After throwing away the leftovers, we walk out of the area and she leads me to an elevator, swiping her card before pressing a button on a panel. When the door opens, she turns towards me.

"Get in," she instructs.

"Uh, sure," I reply, "Where are we going?"

She doesn't answer quickly, putting me a bit on edge. She presses a button on the inside panel once she steps inside, and the door closes quietly. It's silent for a bit longer. Then, she sighs, "You don't know."

"What?" I say.

"You don't know what they are capable of, Isugoro," she replies, "How they can completely destroy everything around you."

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

It's a few moments before she answers. "The Jeweloids . . . they aren't perfect beings like they make themselves appear to be," she says, "There's a reason they're below us."

"Which would be what?" I answer, annoyance quickly rising in me, "I haven't seen any reason so far that would make anything that the human soldiers do suddenly right."

Silence consumes the space until the elevator comes to a slow stop, and a click sounds. "That's why I brought you to see this," Anyola says.

The door opens slowly, and what I'm met with is a stale smell of decay. I blink, and am shocked to see the destruction before my eyes. Before us is a dismantled room, trashed with turned over tables, broken chairs, shattered pieces of equipment, and down sections of the ceiling and walls. Following Anyola, I step out and see papers strewn all over the floor, caked in a good amount of dust. Above, I see a domed ceiling, parts missing in four different places that look eerily familiar. Looking back down, I make out rubble. Marble chunks.

A numbness starts to spread through me as I look around. "Anyola . . ." I trail, "What is this place?"

"This place . . ." she says, "It was the original Power Processor."

My eyes widen as I look over at her. "The original?" I repeat.

"Yes, back when Jeweloids were first discovered ten years ago, the specialists at the time didn't know the capabilities they have, so they created this Power Processor with insufficient equipment and safety measures," Anyola explains, "Many humans died in this place, victims to the insane Jeweloids-"

"Why are you showing me this?" I ask quickly.

She falls quiet, then, slowly, she turns, and walks off to another side of the room, stepping over what's left of the divide between the observation section and the ring to something hanging on the wall. I follow shortly after, and am surprised to see it's a plaque, name after name recorded on the tarnished silver. My brow furrows.

The humans that died.

Anyola looks down, before she reaches into her pocket, pulling out something that looks slightly torn and burnt. She holds it tenderly, though I can see over her shoulder that she's shaking. Then, she turns to face me, and holds it out to me. Cautiously, I take it, turning it over to see it's a picture.

My breath catches. In the picture are three people; Anyola, a man that looked similar to her . . . and HERA. Anyola smiles bitter sweetly.

"That's my big brother, Deran," Anyola admits, "He was in a relationship with HERA."

Wait, what?!

"But, humans and Jeweloids are forbidden to-" I start.

"Not in the beginning, they weren't," Anyola interrupts, "When Jeweloids were first discovered, it was quite normal to see Jeweloids and humans together. Deran and HERA weren't an exception."

"So . . . what happened?" I ask.

The life in Anyola's eyes vanishes as she says bluntly, "HERA killed my brother."

I can feel the warmth in my body draining. I have never heard about a murder taking place, much less involving HERA. Anyola continues on, "On the fourth of Clarus five years ago, HERA was leading a protest against the Power Processor. Deran was against it, especially because at the time, there was a new Jeweloid going through the process. They stormed this space, and amongst the confusion, HERA and Deran got into an argument . . . and in a moment of anger, Deran told her he was done."

I don't say anything, prompting her to keep speaking, "That moment, HERA snapped, angered . . . and she went into a second Insanity State. She let out a power shock that shattered the dome, and the other Jeweloid in her Insanity State started to attack the specialists. The Jeweloids that had followed HERA were already fighting with the humans, and chaos erupted."

"Please," I say, not wanting to hear more.

"HERA attacked him. She threw him like a rag doll, beat him as she laughed-"

"Anyola-" I start.

"I can still hear his screams as she ripped his arm from his body, his eyes were wide and filled with fright-"

"Stop-"

My heart is racing by just imagining the horror of the entire accident. Anyola looks hollow, making it worse as she continues to recall the scene.

"His blood was everywhere, and then she finally broke his neck when she got bored-"

"ANYOLA!"

Her eyes widen and she jolts in fright. She meets my eyes, and is shocked to see me breathing hard. Her eyes search my face, before she finally looks away, seemingly defeated. Her shoulders tremble, and my brow furrows as I see tears start to drip down her cheeks.

"The Law was set soon after . . . to ensure that what happened to Deran and the rest of the people that died that day wouldn't happen again," she says, her voice a bit rough as she cries, "HERA was allowed to live due to her position and the fact that she did it while in an insane state. . . . My brother's murderer walks free . . ."

"Anyola . . ." I trail, unsure what to say.

Her distaste of Jeweloids, as much as I hate to say it, seems justified by her experience. She feels her brother was wronged, and I can understand that. In fact, a lot of things about the Law I understand, at least, in a technical way. It was meant to be a safety measure, to protect people. But instead it became an oppressing and discriminating way of thinking.

And it kills the innocent.

"Isugoro . . ." she trails, catching my attention, "They may make it seem like they're good, but they just destroy . . . everything happy."

"Anyola, they're not all like that," I say in a hushed tone, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do for you."

"Don't go to that Jeweloid," she says in between her tears.

I know as soon as she says it who she is talking about. Maggie.

"Anyola, I have already promised to be her Partner," I say calmly, "She needs me to be there for her. I'm one of the only people she trusts-"

"She'll kill you!" Anyola cries.

I'm taken back by Anyola's statement. I've never thought that Maggie would kill me, even if angry. She didn't even kill me in her Insanity State. "You're being extreme-" I start.

"No, I'm not!" Anyola interrupts, "That Jeweloid is just like HERA. Hell, HERA is her mentor, isn't she?! She'll be a monster!"

It's now that I finally realize it as well; HERA is Maggie's mentor. I can sense my face paling as the fact sinks in. HERA hated me, and it's been about six months since she took Maggie across the country to train her as a Class Zero. Would she have told Maggie what happened?

What has she done to Maggie?

I look away, my eyes moving about the space. I need to distract myself, before I start to panic. Finally, I speak again, "Why did they leave this place like this?"

"So to keep the reason behind the Law real," Anyola replies, "For people like you."

"Like me?" I question.

I turn back and I see tears still silently falling down her cheeks. "To keep you human, Isugoro," she says, "Before you become totally enveloped in them."

I can't answer that. My mind is spinning, so muddled by what I now know and all else I thought I understood that I'm starting to not be able to make sense of any of it. I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Why now, Anyola?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Because, it take a while to get permission to come up here, even for me, and I have a family connection," Anyola explains, ". . . Isugoro, just be careful. I don't want you to die."

"Stop thinking that I will," I answer without thinking, "Maggie won't hurt me."

"You don't know that," Anyola says calmly. A lump forms in my throat, keeping me from saying anything more. Finally, Anyola passes me, gesturing to me. "Come, it's time to go," she says.

I follow silently, getting back on the elevator and allowing the twisted image to evaporate behind me as the door shuts. I'm relieved when it opens again to reveal the halls I know well, making me feel calm. As I step out though, Anyola catches my arm, surprising me.

"What?" I ask.

She quiet for a moment, before she speaks. "I'm sorry, but please keep what I told you between us," she says, "You're the only person I've told about that."

My eyes widen.

"You weren't ordered to tell me?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "No, I just wanted to warn you," she replies, her cheeks flushed, "I thought I'd be a bit more credible if I told you the truth . . . forgive me if I overstepped my boundaries."

I can't be mad at her, not for this. She was just trying to help prepare me for the future, to make me more aware.

I grimace, patting her shoulder, "Don't worry about it, I won't tell."

She blinks in shock, her face turning redder as I walk away. Then, as I turn the corner, I hear her shout, "Thank you."

I answer her with silence. She's a bit twisted, but she doesn't mean to be a bother. I've come to accept that.

I see the time on the wall; 9:45. My first session doesn't normally start until 10:30, so I have some time before I have to be at Marcus' training room. Walking down the main hall, I decide to stop by Kasami's office. I'm sure he'll be surprised, but happy to see me so early in the morning. Once I reach the door, I'm sure I hear more than one voice on the other side of the door, so I stop myself from just walking in as I normally do. I knock, and the voices hush, before I hear Kasami call out normally, "Who is it?"

"It's Jintez, Sir," I reply, "May I come in?"

I hear muttering, before Kasami calls again, "Come in."

I feel the atmosphere is different before I even touch the handle. Kasami's tone was much more serious than usual, making my heart pump quicker. When I push open the door, my body almost freezes as I'm met with an old face I hadn't thought I'd see for a long time.

HERA.

She stands right beside him, her arms crossed as she looks over her shoulder at me. Her eyes are dangerous, and I avert my gaze. My eyes glance across her hands, her sharp nails reminding me of claws. The imagery Anyola set up for me runs through my mind, and I feel my gut sinking. To think, she truly did murder her lover with those hands, and still stands today. I can only imagine what HERA herself thinks of the situation, what she must have felt like when she came out of that second Insanity State, only to discover she had killed him.

What did that feel like?

"Jintez, you remember HERA, don't you?" Kasami says, smiling at me.

I nod, trying to suppress my sudden anxiety from what Anyola just told me, "Y-Yes."

HERA eyes me questioningly, aware that I'm on guard. "What? You look even dumber than normal," she says, her voice still sleek and unnerving.

"HERA, that’s not necessary, is it?" Kasami says, looking a bit unhappy, "Isugoro has been working diligently for her return. At least recognize that."

"Has he now?" she says, stepping closer to me. I look her in the eyes, swallowing my knowledge as she comes to stand right in front of me. I do my best to hold her gaze, trying to see something human in the gold. She doesn’t seem to catch on, and grins, letting out a chuckle, "He's definitely still stubborn. You've gotten a bit bigger as well. . . . Good."

She turns and looks at Kasami, "I leave him to you."

With that, she walks out. I blink in surprise, then turn back to Kasami, hiding my relief as I step forward. "Why is she here?" I ask.

"She occasionally comes back to check in with what is happening here," Kasami answers, "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"I see," I reply, a bit down. I was expecting another reason, it seems.

Kasami grins, "Well, there is one thing."

"Oh?" I reply, brightening up a bit.

Suddenly, a sharp jolt resonates through me, catching me off guard. Kasami appears to feel it to, his eyes becoming enlarged as he turns slightly. I follow his lead, looking toward a window. Although I don't see anything, in the distance, I can hear an eerie noise similar to something I've heard before, but can't place. A strange sensation overcomes me, one I haven’t felt for a long time; Hope.

Then, without warning, Kasami comes out from behind his desk, takes my wrist, and pulls me out the door. "Come now, boy!" he says, excitement in his tone.

I'm totally confused, unsure what to make of his actions as he drags me through the Sector. As we continue through, I catch sight of familiar faces, though to my surprise, they all share the same expression of shock and awe. When we turn down another corner, I pass Savannah, and she looks the same, but once she sees me, she grins, mouthing something I can't make out 'cause we're walking too fast.

Before I even know what's happening, we're entering the Transportation Bay. I call out to him, "S-Sir, what is going on?"

"Just get ready," he says. I can feel my heart pounding as we finally stop in front of a craft, which appears to of just landed. I start to make conclusions without realizing it, my anxiety going crazy as I start to get excited. There are many people here, and to my shock I see the Commander appear as well. Once he does, we all salute him, and he grins. He salutes back, and we lower our arms. Then, he connects eyes with mine, and begins toward me. My hands are becoming clammy.

"Officer Jintez," he says, his gaze sharp.

"Yes, Sir," I respond.

He grins, and continues to as he speaks, "I'd like to be the first to introduce you to your prospected Partner."

I hear the clicking of footsteps behind him, though I can't tear my gaze away from the Commander. I'm in shock.

"It isn't official, but you are our best candidate, so you will be acting under the title until the Class Zero makes an official announcement," the Commander continues, "So without further ado."

He steps slightly to the side, and my mind stops.

Her sapphire locks reach to her hips, down except some hair that's been pulled back to keep it from flying everywhere, her bangs framing her face, and hiding her pierced ears slightly. Her uniform is black with red trim and purple padding, the top cut off from below the breast down with a medium collar and long padded sleeves, while the bottoms are tight with padding on the sides. She wears tight boots that come up to her knees and a gun belt hangs empty around her hips. Around her neck is a black sash wrapped a few times, from which hangs a gem that resembles her bright eyes and tattoos. Her gaze is powerful, much more overwhelming than I can remember.

"Isugoro Jintez, meet your Partner," the Commander says, "Jeweloid 009."

She steps forward, prompting him to continue, "Or, as she's now known, the newest Class Zero . . ."

As if on que, she looks up and meets my eyes. In an instant, something reconnects.

I can't help but mouth her name. A small smile forms on her face.

Maggie.

"LAPIS."

Comments & reviews · 3
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Deanie
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Deanie wrote a review Review · Mar 29, 2015

HI Serene!

Happy review day!

I just wanted to kick off this day with reviewing the final chapter to your novel. I feel honoured to have read this far into the novel and reviewing along with your writing. You've done a great job with showing us this whole story and I feel like it has been quite the experience. And even though you have given this story a great ending where many things seem to be summed up and we seem to get the feeling of a conclusion, there is still a lot of unfinished business. I want to know more about Sammy and her friend, and how she ended up the way she is because of her. I want to know more about the events that went on at the execution. There's so much more to this story, I sincerely hope you are going to be writing a sequel and that I will be able to read it as well! Once you take a break and possibly edit through this one as well ;)

What I didn't quite understand was the argument here. I mean, I understood why it was included - to show the relationships of all the people at the table and show that they have managed to establish a friendship and a routine that makes them them. But even though I understood how some certain parts of the argument could be seen as offensive to one or the other of them (basically the child calling) but not in some cases as well. I didn't understand why calling a joke dumb was so offensive. It seemed almost childish for Cent to retaliate to something like that because if it's a dumb joke, you say it was just a joke and then drop the subject and start a new one. I didn't understand why he would pick at the point like that. It didn't make much sense to me >.> Maybe have her say something worse to prompt the argument into starting? It's okay for it to be bad, because Cent does say some pretty mean things later on.

At one point Isugoro wonders if Maggie will even come back fleetingly, like it is just a passing thought and doesn't affect him at all. Trust me, I have lost best friends, and it always hurts a lot. Even when you haven't lost them yet and you feel like they are slipping away from your or have deserted you. I feel like him thinking about it would even open up a bunch of sadness and hurt emotions within him as he wonders if he is forgotten. And wonders how she could possibly forget him while he still remembers her as clear as day, and misses her so much. I felt like it was so unfeeling of him to not seem to care much!

I grin, patting her shoulder, "Don't worry about it, I won't tell."


In this case I felt like grin was the wrong word to use here! I felt like he shouldn't be smiling at her after what they just experienced together. Maybe a grimace would be more appropriate? It's just another way of saying a grim smile.

I found it super weird that Isugoro couldn't predict where Kasami was dragging him after HERA showed up in the room. Firstly, he has been hopeful she would show up. Secondly, they are heading to an aircraft that landed from somewhere else. And thirdly, HERA is even here. I was surprised that Isugoro was so dumb and couldn't put two and two together. I know you are trying to build an element of suspense here, but you don't have to tell us it is Maggie for sure. But say that as he is being dragged away that he hoped above all hope that what he thought was going to happen would do, or say he had his suspicions of what would be in the aircraft. Something to show he is smart :3

When Isugoro sees HERA, I feel like you can make a lot more out of the moment. His perception of her has changed, and I want to see this in his viewing of her. Maybe have him reevaluate her physical appearance and start to notice things that can be seen as threatening to others that he hadn't picked up on before. Or maybe he could simply look into his eyes and try to discern what is behind them, and what she is thinking. I just want a bit more of the moment when we see her again after what we have learned about her past.

Time for the nitpicks!

"Well that was a poor excuse of a joke, if I do say so myself," Anna replies with a slight rise of her shoulders, "And as I can see quite well, everyone else here seems to agree with me on that fact."

"Well,


In the paragraph I pulled out, we see the word 'well' thrice. The first time you use it, there needs to be a comma after it anyway. But having two dialogues start with it is repetitious, so I would get rid of it in the first one because it isn't as needed as in the second use of it.

Would she of told Maggie what happened?


The 'of' should be have instead.

Because, it take a while to get permission


*takes

which appears to of just landed


Again, the 'of' should be a have instead.

Or, as she's now know, the newest Class Zero


*known.

That's all I have for you! If you ever do post a sequel, do let me know. I would love to read it <3 This story was great, Serene, and I am so happy to possibly have helped improve this story!

Deanie x

I'm glad to finally see your review!
You brought up a lot of good points that I will definitely look at while I'm editing this.
This is definitely a series, I've already figured there will be about 5-6 books
DUET, the second LAPIS novel, has already been announced, and I will definitely keep you updated
Thank you for everything
~Maddie

fallenoutofgrace wrote a review Review · Feb 22, 2015

HEello there member of the ferice fitebolts here to review your last chapter on this review day.
I must apologize first I have a computer that despises me.

Now only nickpick I have is Anna I agree with the person below. You can make her into a man-child type of character the adult that's always a kid at heart and that would work out here just remember the fine line of child at heart and a kid.

Other than that your chapter is well written and have brilliant imagery and diction. As for it ending rath er short I have to disagree I think your ending was great you tied up all the loose ends but left enough wiggle room for the reader to come up what happens next. I loved how you ended the chapter with the two saying one another names. It was an awwwww moment to the max.

I haven't read the chapters before this but from what I see right here you did a rees job.

Sincerly, Fallen.

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LittleFox
Review
LittleFox wrote a review Review · Feb 22, 2015

Woooo alright last chapter and just in time for review day! I don't want it to be over, but that's just too bad I suppose and I'm excite to see how you wrap everything up so here we gooo~

I have to admit that Anna seems a little strange to me. She is supposed to have the mind set of someone in her thirties, but she is still very childish. I'm not saying she can't be childish, but she is a little too much so. I think maybe if you just toned her back a little it would feel more authentic. You could perhaps aim more for the maturity level of Claudia from Interview with a Vampire. If you haven't seen that, then never mind lol.

Other than that, this was great :D I would have liked this to end with a bigger bang somehow though. This last chapter was rather short and it just sort of feels like there should be more. But this does hint that Duet will be a continuation, if I am not mistaken? I suppose it has to be since I remember you telling me about scenes that didn't happen in here. Actually, you probably already told me, but my memory can often be a sad thing.

Anyway, this does at least leaving the reader feeling a little suspended and makes them want to grab on to the next installment, so get writing!

Congratulations on finishing this! I'm really happy that I got to be here from beginning to end for Lapis! Now I am inspired to finish my own soon. I hope my previous reviews have helped you out! Keeping those creative juices a flow'n!

Happy Review Day from Team Firebolts~

With love,
-LittleFox



My life, my loves, where are they now?
— Richard Linklater