Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.
"R-Really?" I stutter in shock, surprised by Kasami's kindness.
Kasami laughs, standing. "Why, Isugoro, do you really think I'm not going to allow you to go celebrate your twenty-first birthday?" Kasami says as he walks around his desk, looking from me to Cent, "I'm aware you two don't get to see each often. I'm also aware that Armasons' birthday was a month ago, and you two didn't get the chance to do anything then. So, if you want, think of it as a combined present."
Cent and I exchange a look, before smiles rise on our faces. Kasami had called us both down to his office, but I wasn't expecting that he had called us down to give us both the day off tomorrow, not to mention permission to go out to Seattle! It's only a two minute flight, but neither Cent nor I have gone out into public since we got to Gelus. Hell, I don't even think Cent has left!
"But what about Sumpti-" Cent starts.
"I already spoke to your superior, Armasons. You're all cleared to go," Kasami chuckles, before he looks back at me, "You have the whole day, but you will be required to back at Gelus by no later than three a.m. tomorrow night, understood?"
"Why three?" I ask.
"Because tomorrow is the first of the month, the protection monitors will be tested at three - thirty. Thus, I want you back so that you'll be able to get in," Kasami explains, "Testing can last up to six hours, so I'd rather you two not be locked out."
"Ah, makes sense," Cent comments.
"We'll be back, Sir," I say with a grin, "Thank you so much."
Kasami smiles warmly, patting my shoulder as he always does, "You've done a lot for me, Isugoro. You deserve a break."
With that, he escorts us out of his office, and Cent and I head toward my room. As soon as we walk in and the door shuts behind us, Cent yells almost victoriously, "Yes!"
I laugh, "Calm down Cent-"
"Why? Dude, we haven't gone out together in ages!" Cent shouts, bouncing, "And now we're both twenty-one, so now we can have even more fun!"
"Cent, we've drank before," I chuckle, "And you still can't handle alcohol."
"Who gives a shit?" he laughs, "I want to have fun-"
"When you say "fun", you really mean trouble," I comment, crossing my arms as I stare at him, "The last time you said that, we were almost arrested."
"Hey, that guy cheated, and we both know it-" Cent starts.
"But did you really have to throw the ball at his head?" I interrupt, "It was a billiard ball, Cent. They're hard."
Cent shrugs. "He deserved it," he mumbles.
I roll my eyes jokingly. Cent hasn't been this excited in ages, so to see him happy gives me comfort. It's the exact opposite of his birthday, when he fell apart like that. My brow furrows a bit at the memory, still a bit shaken by it. Cent seems to notice, blinking in surprise to see my energy fading. He walks over, and tilts his head like a dog does, causing me to chuckle. "What the hell are you doing?" I ask.
"What's wrong? Your expression changed," he questions me.
I don't answer quickly, but I sigh. I'd rather not bring it back up, so I come up with something else, "I don't have money on me."
Cent's eyes widen, then his smile appears again. "Seriously? You think I'm gonna make you pay on your birthday?" he laughs, "Ma sent me some cash for mine, so you can pay me the difference when you get something from your folks."
I blink. Cent knows I don't normally get anything but a letter from Mom on my birthday, so why say that?
Before I can question him, he playfully punches me in the shoulder, causing the topic to fade as I laugh, hitting him back. Within moments, we're wrestling like we used to, but to Cent's surprise, I pin him only seconds after starting. I laugh as I look down at him, "What? You look shocked."
"Dude, when the hell did you get so strong?" he questions me as I finally release him, "Seriously Goro, you've got some edge now."
"Really?" I reply, surprised.
Cent laughs, "Goro, I think you've gone blind with that guy who trains you."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"You train with a Jeweloid, Goro," he explains, "He's naturally much stronger than you are, so you're comparing your strength to his."
"Ok? . . ."
"In comparison to him, you may not be strong, but in comparison to a common man . . . you're becoming a monster."
I laugh out loud, "Me, a monster?"
Cent shrugs, "We'll see."
My brow furrows, unsure what he means by his words. Though, he again avoids my question, patting me on the back before walking toward my door. "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow. I want to start the day with a bang!" Cent says, waving back at me as he leaves.
I just stand here puzzled, but I try to forget about it, turning my attention toward my birthday tomorrow. I shut the door, then spend the rest of my night deciding what I want to do. For the first time in a while, I use my personal holograph rod to look through the public listings to see what's in Seattle. There are multiple pubs and bars, but I'm not really interested in seeing Cent get drunk.
I mean, yeah, it's interesting to watch, but after a while, he sorta becomes an ass.
Finally, I find a small place that would be interesting to go to. It's one of the last remaining buildings from before the Continental Apocalypse, and the business that works inside is still up and running to this day. I chuckle as I read the history of the place, learning that it was the first of its kind to provide the types of drinks it does. Apparently it was at its best in the fifty years after the Continental Apocalypse and has been going strong since.
People really can't survive without coffee I guess.
Without realizing it, I fall asleep, waking to the pounding of an alarm. I sit up quickly, reaching over and shutting it off, before I slowly fall back on my bed, grinning as I decide to get a few more minutes to myself.
"Rise and shine Birthday Boy!"
The sudden shouting jolts me awake, and I turn to see Cent basically skipping into my room, excited as can be. I groan at the sight of him, "Dammit, Cent. You couldn't have given me five more minutes-"
"We have no time to lose, good Sir," Cent laughs, before he pulls my blankets away, "We have a day of celebrating to successfully achieve, and to do so, we need to go ahead and get on with it!"
"Seriously, five minutes-" I start again.
"Oh boohoo, sleep those five on the way to Seattle," Cent interrupts, leaning over to pick up the casual clothes I had decided to wear for the day, before throwing them at my face, "Now get dressed."
They hit me square in the head, but I do nothing to defend the mirage of clothing from hitting me, too tired at the moment to really care. A yawn escapes my throat, and Cent turns suddenly at the sound. I blink as he's suddenly only inches from my face, staring me down.
"Uh-" I begin.
"No, yawns," Cent says, "Do I have to do what I used to do to wake you up all the way?"
"Yeah, no," I chuckle, pushing him back as I sit up, "I'll pass on that experience. Thanks for the offer."
A joking smirk rises on Cent's face, and he raises an eyebrow, looking like one of those goofy villains off some superhero picture. I roll my eyes, removing the articles he threw at me as I get out of bed, standing firmly a few feet away from Cent.
Then, I'm suddenly ambushed, tackled to the ground. We slide for a few feet, considering my floor is wooden, but when we come to halt, I find myself on my side, and Cent kind of on top of me, looking at me like he did nothing wrong. After a few moments of silence, a smile cracks on Cent's face, and he and I lose it. Our laughter echoes through the room, probably causing the people who live in the rooms beside mine to wake. But, I don't care, at least not today.
I want to be twenty-one for one day.
"Dear Jesus, Cent! Get off of me!" I laugh, taking hold of his arms and throwing him over so I can stand. He bounces, causing him to laugh harder as he just lays there on my floor.
"O-Oh God, today's gonna be great!" he chuckles, finding it hard to speak through his laughter.
I grin, chuckling a bit myself as I pull myself up, turning to start getting dressed. As I do so, Cent just stays on the floor, talking to me about the research he'd also done during the night.
It's not until I've tied my second shoe and am basically ready that he and I decide on three places to check out in town. Who knew one town had so much to weigh?
Walking out of my room, Cent and I probably look really out of place. While everyone else wears the normal uniforms, we're back in civilian clothing. Cent wears tighter faded jeans, dark lace-up ankle boots, a white patterned shirt and an open dark charcoal wool jacket, as he hates having to deal with the buttons. I, on the other hand, am much more simplistic, wearing somewhat tight dark jeans (he made me buy them the last time we were home), grey board tie-up shoes, a faded blue long sleeve V-neck, and a PU leather coat, open just like Cent's. Hell, the only thing that even resembles the others are our dog-tags, which we both decided to wear out today for some reason.
I grin as we finally make it to the Transportation Port, met by Kasami as we reach the craft. He laughs, looking at us both. "My, you two look like regular young men," he says with a smile, "Seems the fashion out there has barely changed."
Cent shrugs, "Hey, it's comfortable."
Kasami grins, "Ah, I see. Well, you two enjoy yourselves out there, and remember, three a.m. at the latest."
"Got it," I say with a nod, "Thanks for this."
"You're welcome," Kasami says as we walk on to the craft, waving as the pilot starts the engine up, "And happy birthday, Isugoro!"
I wave back in response, now too loud for him to hear anything I could say. With that, we're closed into the craft, and before long we've taken off. Cent chuckles, nudging me. "You gonna sleep?" Cent asks.
"The flight is only two minutes, this conversation will probably last longer," I laugh.
And I was right. By the time Cent had stopped calling me lazy and other crap, we'd already made it to the loading bay at the transportation center in Seattle. Walking out, we finally look like normal people, those who'd been standing nearby as we landed looking at us as if we were just like them. I see humans, Altuvalens, Nocans and Jacboatus talking, laughing, and enjoying themselves, giving me high hopes for the day. Cent and I look to each other with a smile, leaving the pilot to do as he wishes as we continue down the hall to public transportation. Before he had told us what was happening yesterday, Kasami had given us cards that allowed us free rides on any public transportation, saying that he wanted us to make "smart decisions".
I guess he thinks we are gonna get drunk.
I’m distracted from my thoughts as we exit the craft terminal. The morning sun is bright, the only entity in the sky except a few clouds and the overhead craft traffic. The high rise buildings look twisted, reflecting in the light as they reach to the sky. The hover vehicles drive by at blazing speed, bikes crossing through and over cars, the occasionally boards jumping from the slow aisle of the lifted road to the sidewalk. People walk in hoards in and out of buildings trimmed with holographic signs and advertisements, flashing with bright colors and almost three dimensional words. While most of the city seems built of steel, in the distance, a growth of pine poke up among the buildings, while smaller trees line the walkways. Those who pass us are hurrying along with ear pieces or personal rods, a location in mind as they speak to those with them or online, in their own worlds.
None of them know what is just on the other side of the mountains. None of them who see us realize who we are, what we’ve been through. They think we’re just like everyone else.
They just think we’re people.
I laugh at the thought, though it distracts me as Cent pulls me onto a hover bus that's about to leave. "Come on, this one's going to go right to our first stop!" Cent says, as he pushes me threw to the cabin, "You can't already have your head in the clouds, we just got here!"
"Oh shut it," I chuckle, "You've made us miss tons of buses before."
He pouts in retaliation, "Not tons."
"Uh, yeah. Remember that one time your mom told us to go get that cake for your sister's birthday?" I say. As soon as I bring up the memory, Cent cringes a bit into himself.
"Yeah . . . but it was a cute dog-" Cent starts.
"We missed Alya's party, and your mom screamed at us for over an hour," I say, looking around to find someplace to sit.
Suddenly, the bus jerks forward, causing Cent and I to lose our balance. Luckily, I'm able to catch myself, but Cent keeps going, making me have to grab him before he lands on two girls. The girls look startled, but not angry, considering I stopped anything from happening. Cent smiles, "S-Sorry, I wasn't ready for the bus to start."
They girls just stare for a moment, before they glance to each other. Before us, one of them seems to mouth something to the other, before they both look back to us. One of the girls, a decent brunette, smiles as she giggles, "Oh, don't worry, no one ever is."
"I've never seen you two on this route," the other girl replies, her hair black as night, making her pale blue eyes vibrant, "Are you new here?"
"No, just visiting for the day," I say.
"His birthday is today, so we got the day off-" Cent starts.
"It's your birthday?" the brunette asks, her grey eyes sparkling, "Well, happy birthday! How old are you?"
"Twenty-one," I reply.
"Oh, so you two are going out drinking?" the blue eyed girl says with a smile, "Isn't it kind of early?"
"I didn't come to drink. I'm not lugging him around, considering he can't handle alcohol," I chuckle.
Cent nudges me in annoyance, "Hey, don't say that."
The girls laugh. "Well, maybe you'd like some extra hands?" blue eyes says, "I'm Jayna."
"I'm Caita," the brunette adds.
Cent and I look at each other. We weren't trying to get dates for the day, and I'm not really in the mood to entertain a girl. I make a look at Cent, and he nods, apparently understanding what I'm saying. We look back at the girls, and I sigh, "Well, thank you for your concern, but-"
"But why don't we just hang out and not worry about lugging," Cent cuts me off, smiling. The girls' faces light up, but I take Cent's shoulder and pull him close so I can whisper into his ear.
"I didn't want them to come, stupid!" I whisper.
Cent rolls his eyes. "Dude, relax. They're pretty girls, let's just hang out with them for the day," Cent whispers back, "Besides, they're from here, so they can help us find our way around."
"Cent, you know that I-" I start.
"I'm not saying you have to flirt, or try to get a number, just enjoy yourself today," Cent interrupts, "Just do what you do when you talk to Sammy. That's all I ask."
I don't respond for a moment, but I do look at the girls. They seem confused, unsure what we're discussing. They're harmless. I sigh, "Alright, fine."
Cent smiles brightly, "Great, then it's settled."
The girls smile, and before long, we seem to pair off. Jayna attaches herself to Cent, and Caita stays by my side, though, I don't really mind. Like Cent said, I start talking to them like I would Sammy, and I'm surprised to find that the two are actually very fun girls. They seem to enjoy anything Cent and I had planned to do, whether it be shopping or stopping by old sites. When Cent mentions the cage fight we'd talked about seeing, Caita knew the fighters by name!
It's a sight, to see girls join in without a second thought. I had forgotten how much I had once enjoyed hanging out with them. Women can change in moments, they're masters of vibrant expressions, and crazed thoughts. Emotion is their strong suit, something they refine to an art. They can see into someone's mind by simply following their actions, something I myself find amazing. Women thrive on dramatics, so maybe that's why they're so good with reading people. They want to see if something amazing will happen.
Makes sense, that's a good reason men involve themselves with women. They're very entertaining, but they are more than just a show men like to watch. At least, to me they are.
My thoughts built further in my mind as we got to the old coffee house, and the girls were even more excited than I was. "This place has the best coffee!" Caita laughed as she pulled me toward the door, "They always have."
"Sorry for our reactions, we just never get to come here," Jayna said with a giggle as she followed Cent through the door ahead of us, "It's a treat."
Once inside, the two explained the drinks to us, and Cent came up with an idea. "How about you two go get us something, based on what you think are preferences are," Cent asks.
Caita laughed, "Sounds fun. C'mon Jayna."
With that, Caita pulled Jayna away, but they're back before long, and we all sit in the corner by a stone fountain feature. Jayna gives Cent his first, as since it's my birthday, I'm saved for last. It's a cold drink, mixed with whipped cream and some kind of drizzle on top. Cautiously, he takes a sip, before a smile rises on his face, and he nods.
"Mmm, tastes great," Cent chuckles, "It's caramel."
"Salted caramel, to be more specific," Jayna laughs.
"Alright, now you Isugoro," Caita says as she hands me mine. Like Cent's, it's cold, but it's not all mixed up like his had been. Whipped cream and a darker drizzle top it, though I mix it before I take a sip. Quickly, I catch the rich taste of coffee, but it's creamier than normal black. Then, I catch another taste that tells me what it is.
"Mocha," I comment. Caita smiles, telling me I guessed correctly.
I grin, "It's good."
"Why didn't you get him a Frappuccino like you'd originally planned?" Jayna asks.
"Well, I don't know," Caita replies, "Cent said to get drinks that match preference, but since they're close, I agreed to get a Frappuccino like you got Cent. . . . Though, as I thought about it, Isugoro doesn't seem to like things all mixed up."
"You thought really deep about this," Cent laughs, "I didn't think you'd get all psychological."
Caita shrugs, "I love psychology."
Suddenly, I feel myself tense a bit. Caita looks back at me with a smile, "Like for instance, I know that when Cent invited us to come, you didn't agree with him. But, as the day has gone on, you've relaxed a lot."
I don't say anything, simply watching her as Jayna rubs her forehead, making it appear that Caita has done something like this before. Cent just stares, sipping his drink. Then, I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Anything else?" I ask, a bit curious.
Caita doesn't answer quickly, but then grins, "You have someone on your mind." That catches Cent and I by surprise, though it's short lived as Caita reached forward, taking hold of my dog tags. ". . . You're worried about someone in your world," Caita trails, her expression concentrated and inward, "This entire time, you may not have realized it, but you were never looking at either Jayna or I."
My eyes widen. Without warning, I feel my hands are becoming clammy, and my throat dries a bit. I take a sip of the drink, but it doesn't help out that much. I'm sinking. Cent enters the conversation, trying to save me, "What do mean, he's looked at you both a bunch of times-"
"I mean he doesn't focus on us," Caita explains, looking over at Cent, "In fact, this entire time, he hasn't looked really at any girl that's gone by. His eyes may land on them, but he doesn't register them as there."
"Basically, he doesn't care-" Jayna adds.
"No, that's not what I meant," Caita cuts her off. I avoid her gaze, realizing immediately that she doesn’t comprehend the weight of her words. She continue anyway, ignorant, "He just . . . has someone else he's more concerned about-"
"Excuse me."
I can't stand it anymore, so I take my drink and walk out of the shop. I don't want to hear any more of Caita's babbling, it's just making me feel weird. By the time I make it to the road, my heart is pounding, making me even more confused. I find a bench nearby, and I sit, trying to calm myself before I even attempt to go back.
But, I don't have to. Cent finds me only after a few minutes, and sits silently at my side. We drink our coffees without saying a word for quite some time. Then, I sigh, "Where did the girls go?"
"Well, as soon as you walked out, Jayna got a call from her boss. Turns out they work for the same catering company and have to go in because people called in sick. They're on their way to the closest hover bus station to try to make it before all the guests arrive," Cent says, taking another sip before continuing, "Caita told me to apologize to you on her behalf. She didn't think you'd get upset."
". . . I'm not upset," I trail, looking out at the modern city around us, "I'm just confused."
"About what?" Cent asks.
"Everything," I reply, "I didn't even realize I was doing it, but as soon as she said it, I recognized that I had."
"But you aren't worried about someone," Cent comments, "There's no one to be worried about-"
"Yes there is, Cent," I interrupt.
Cent turns and looks at me, though I don't meet his gaze. I simply continue to look straight, but even without looking at him, Cent picks up quickly. His expression fades into concern, then he sighs. "You're worried about her?" he asks.
He doesn't have to say a name. Neither or us do, it's painfully obvious who we're discussing, who Caita picked up on. The thought causes her face to reappear in my mind, that last smile she showed before I walked away from her. . . .
Maggie . . .
". . . I haven't heard any news about her since she left," I say, "Kasami didn't even tell me if she got there."
"I think they would've said something if she hadn't," Cent comments, "And considering how close she was to you, they definitely would've mentioned it to you at least."
I don't reply, too caught up in my thoughts. Cent watches me for a minute or two, before he groans, hitting me on the back as he stands. "C'mon dude, we didn't come here for you to get depressed about her. Hell, for today, we're normal guys!" Cent says, taking me by the arm and pulling me to my feet, "Let's just be us. No Gelus, no fighting, no war, no Jeweloids. . . . Let's be Cent Armasons and Isugoro Jintez; two twenty-one, handsome fellows who are here to have some fun."
I chuckle as I watch him adjust his jacket, and turn back towards me, holding a hand out to me. "What do you say?" he asks.
After a moment, I take his hand, and shake it firmly. We exchange a grin.
He really is my best friend for a reason.
The rest of our time in Seattle is a blur. Like we had planned, we went to the cage fight, and our testosterone went wild for a few hours as we watched some guys get beaten to a pulp. Sadly, the main fight wasn't as long or bloody as what anyone had expected, considering that it was a human against a Jacboatus. As people started to get riled up by the aftermath, we left early so that we could dodge any uproar, and the backed up rush when it ended. By the time we got to the final venue of the night, the sun was almost all the way down, meaning it was time for us to strut as legal drinkers, and get in to one of the most popular clubs in the northwest.
Eclipse Lounge; one of the last human owned clubs in the area.
Once in, I couldn't believe the sights. Lights were flashing from each of the four stories of the building in numerous arrays and colors, dancers took the floor and main stage, following the vibrating bass of the live music that shook us to our bones. Cent and I did our best to stay together, but before long, he found his way to the dance floor after meeting a few interesting ladies, and I found a seat at one of the bars. I don't dance, so I try my best to keep away from it, but it's hard, considering how many drunk girls there are.
One after another, girls with strong odors of alcohol coming off their breath try to talk me into buying them a drink or dancing with them, but I find a way to politely shoo them away. The Altuvalen bartender comes over to me after a while, laughing. "Seems you're a magnet for girls, Sir," he says, placing a napkin on the bar in front of me.
I chuckle, "I guess."
"Well Sir, what's the occasion for you to be here at the Eclipse Lounge?" he asks.
"It's my birthday-" I start.
"Oh, twenty-one?" he asks. When I nod, he lets out another laugh, "Well then Sir, you get a birthday special!"
"Oh?" I ask.
"Yes. Now," he says, handing me a nice holograph rod, a menu on the lit screen, "You can pick one of these cocktails, and you get a second half off."
"Wow, nice," I say, looking over the names of the eight drinks. I read about many of these drinks when I looked on their page last night. Then, I catch the name I had hoped to see; “Twilight's Nearing”. I grin, looking back at the bartender. After today, I could have a drink I guess. "I'll take that," I say.
The bartender laughs, "Alright, looks like you know good quality when you see it."
With that, he sets a glass down and starts to grab for alcohol left and right. He sets ice into it, then begins to make the drink. The crowd around me roars in excitement as he makes a show. He throws the bottles up and over his head, catching them gracefully as he pours one after another. He takes a metal cup, flips it upside down, and connects it to the glass, picking it up by where they connect and shaking it. His smile is infectious, causing me to laugh as he taps it once he sets it back down, and pours it into a new glass over ice. He bows, chuckling, "Happy Birthday, Kid."
With that, he walks off, making numerous more drinks while I sit and enjoy mine. It's smooth and fresh, the creamy taste distracting my senses from the fact that it's alcoholic. Unfortunately though, it's not enough to even phase me. Last time I tested myself, I can drink about six beers before I get tipsy, and ten is when I would say I am "drunk".
I also ask for something to eat, and before long, I'm enjoying some wings with my drink, and a good hour or so passes before I even finish the one. Though, since so much time has pass, I begin to wonder about Cent-
"Bro, this place is amazing!"
Suddenly, Cent plows into my back, jolting me as I turn to look at him. A girl holds onto him, and his arm is around her shoulder, and just one look at his face tell me one truth; he was given something to drink.
"Cent-" I start.
"C'mon man, these chicks are sexy!" he laughs, "Come out and dance!"
"No, Cent, I don't dance," I reply calmly.
He laughs harder, "Yeah y . . . you do! You're the best God damn d-dancer in town! You won first four years in a row!"
"Cent, stop," I say, pausing for a moment, "I thought you weren't going to drink anything."
"I had a f-few sips of one cocktail, Goro-" he begins.
"And you're already plastered," I interrupt, my expression falling some, "Sit for a few at least."
"Nah, I'm gonna get some-" he cackles.
"Sir, do you want your special now?" the bartender from before asks.
"Not right now-" I start.
"Hell y-yeah he does!" Cent yells, "He needs to relax-"
"You need to sober up," I snap, "You told me you wouldn't drink."
"Oh shut the hell up, I needed a drink, so do you-" Cent says, getting annoyed.
"No I don't," I say, standing as I look at the bartender, "I think I've had enough for tonight."
He looks at both of us, and sighs, "I'll count yours at a discount."
I grimace as I meet his gaze. "Thank you," I reply.
He shows me a knowing expression, sensing my irritation as he turns and speaks kindly, "It's the least I can do."
With that, he walks off and gets my bill. I pay for myself, then look back at Cent, who's now indulged with the girl. She's pretty, but her appearance makes her seem trashy, too much skin showing for any class to shine through. Her eyes also hint at darker thoughts, her occasional kisses to his neck and wandering hands warning of true intentions. After quickly getting annoyed, I start forward, before Cent pulls me back.
"H-Hey, where are y . . . you g-goin'-" he starts.
"To Gelus," I reply, "I've had my fun."
“So earrrrrly in the night?” the girl says, cackling as her hand runs down my chest, “C’mon, you need to loosen uuuuup. You can get a bitch easy.”
“I don’t want a bitch, thank you,” I say, sending her a sharp stare as I gently push her hand off. She seems to sense how serious I am, and casually releases herself from Cent’s grip to speak to one of her nearby friends. I sigh, before Cent catches my attention again, steadying himself by gripping my shoulder. Watching him, I feel a bit of anger rising in me. He’s being reckless, giggling like an idiot with glazed eyes. Coming here wasn’t a good idea. “Cent, you can’t stay here,” I say, “I can’t go back without you.”
“No Man!” he chuckles, “I’m escaping all the s-shit for a while.”
“Not everything at Gelus is shit-“ I start.
“Hell yes it is!” he says, holding his index finger up, “You can’t name one thing in that Hell that’d make me want to leave.”
My eyes narrow, catching on something he’d regret later. I turn, but Cent still feels the need to argue my decision. "D-Dude, come on-" he laughs.
I let him have it with one sentence, "I'll be sure to tell Sammy what you said."
The mention of Sammy causes the happiness on his face to vanish almost instantly, the light atmosphere shattering. He buckles some, coughing slightly as I catch him. After a second, he straightens and looks back at me, his mind apparently clearer from what I can tell. He gulps, and looks away, seeing the girl he had been with previously trying to beckon him back. He watches for a moment, then shakes his head. His dazed eyes meet mine, looking confused as he whispers, "Get me out of here before I do something really stupid."
His voice cracks a bit as he tries to act sober, but it's easy to see that his words are all he can manage. He tries to walk forward, but his legs are so shaky that he can't manage to go straight. I look around, then sigh, taking hold of his arm and putting it around my neck to support him. He looks annoyed, but deals with it, knowing in his gut he did it to himself.
Before long, we're back on a hover bus, Cent sitting down with his head hanging. We don't speak, but I keep an eye on him, knowing that the jerking could cause some issues with Cent's stomach.
When we arrive at the Transportation Center, I quickly scan to find our pilot, lugging Cent just as I hadn't wanted to. It takes me a good half hour before I finally find him leaning against a beam near the entrance to the loading bay, on a holograph rod watching some production.
"Sir!" I call.
He looks up, and quickly turns off the rod and hurries over to help me get Cent into the craft. He does his best to keep from making the lift up rocky, but it proves too much for Cent's stomach. Good thing there's a small bathroom, or else that could've been a lot worse.
We arrive back at Gelus within minutes, the clock on my rod reading 1:54.
Well, at least we won't have to worry about the testing.
I check on Cent as the pilot walks out of the craft to speak to the engineer outside. He holds his head in his hands. I sigh, putting a hand on his shoulder, "You ok?"
". . . I'm sorry," he trails, "I broke my promise, didn't I?"
"It's alright," I say with a bittersweet smile, "Let's just get you in bed-"
"I want to go home."
His words catch me off guard. After a moment, he looks up at me, his eyes bloodshot, "Can we please go home?"
My brow furrows, and I answer him quietly. "Someday, Cent . . ." I trail, "Someday, we'll go home."
He doesn’t seem appeased by my answer, but accepts it, saying nothing as I start to stand up. Though, he suddenly catches my arm, surprising me as he pulls me back down to his level. I watch him, seeing that he’s thinking about something as he stares at the ground. “What?” I ask.
“. . . Please don’t tell her,” he says in between rough breaths, “Don’t tell her . . . what I said. . . .”
My eyes widen, my heart panging some as I realize he’s talking about Sammy. He meets my gaze, and I’m caught by how guilty he looks, his eyes translating the weight of his self-hatred. “I-I didn’t mean it, I swear, I just didn’t want t-to come back here,” he tries to explain, his voice weak, “She’ll think I’m just like all the rest of them-“
“I won’t,” I interrupt, catching his attention. His eyes are big, as if he never believed those words would come out. I grimace as I speak, “I won’t tell her.”
A look of relief takes shape on his face, and with that, he doesn't say anything else. After I get him standing and steady under my weight, he allows me to lead him out. But, to my surprise, I see Anyola standing there right at the exit, almost bouncing in excitement as she catches sight of me.
"Anyola?" I say, "Why are you here so late?"
She runs over to us as we reach the ground, her smile bright as she says words I never imagined to accompany her expression.
"There's going to be a public execution tomorrow."
End of chapter
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Hi Serene!
If everything goes according to plan today, I hope to finish off reviewing all your chapters. It would be nice to be all caught up - especially as Chapter 30 is the last one of the novel! So here goes the review!
As you rightly warned us, this was a fairly long chapter. What I liked most about it was getting to see more of Cent and Isugoro's friendship we are always hearing about. It was so cute and I liked the way I could imagine this was how they were before they came to Gelus. As well as that, when Cent was drunk we got to see a more vulnerable side to him, and I kind of liked that. He always has the tough and happy guy exterior so it is nice to see through that sometimes and get to the person at the core. I also approved of the idea of getting out of Gelus. It was a nice change from the usual chapter scenery and I didn't think we would manage to escape the place in the novel once! It was intriguing to see the girl's analysis of everything Isugoro had been doing throughout the day with them. She was definitely very observant.
Speaking of her, in the moment when she is revealing everything she realized I wanted to see a bit more of her face expressions. I wanted to know what she looked like so we could understand the manner in which she was telling of all this. Did she look concentrated and inward, simply stating what she knew and not able to realize she was affecting Isugoro because she wasn't fully watching him? Or did she look determined and sharp, persisting because she felt like it was something Isugoro needed to know even if it might hurt him? I think this is the perfect example of when the expression of someone can affect the way they are saying something. So make sure you describe that for us!
Again, that stammering though >.> I know I mention it a lot but it is something that is really bothering me when it comes to reading these chapters. Describe things that might require stammering through actions and narrative instead!
I really don't understand the reasoning for that sentence being there? It was very randomly thrown in and didn't have any connection to the sentence prior to it. If it had to do with him sleeping, you need to mention it after he falls asleep otherwise the reader is lost as to where the connection is.
The dialogue in this chapter seemed more fake and stoic for some reason. It didn't run smoothly like it has in all the other chapters and that made it seem less realistic. I am not entirely sure why, but to help solve this problem you should simply listen to people talk around you to get a feel for how it should naturally sound. I think maybe it is also because you have so many exclamation marks in places where I don't think people would usually be exclaiming. An example of this is the bartenders conversation with Isugoro. Would he really sound so cheery with everything he is saying? Maybe the trouble with the dialogue can partly be solved by eradicating some of those exclamation marks as easy as it sounds. And then I think you need to make it seem more natural and flow more, especially at the beginning before they leave Gelus. I am not entirely sure how you could go about doing this, I am sorry :/ But maybe looking up a few articles could help.
There was no description of Seattle at all! I expected that to be one of the first things we would receive when they landed, but instead you shuttled them directly into a hovercar and a conversation. You should describe the scenery a bit more as in not the people around and all that, but the smells in the air. What they can see, the roads, the land, the sky. I want to know what they can hear and how good it feels to be finally be free of Gelus. I want to have a few comparisons between Gelus and Seattle even if the difference is that they have the chance to do whatever they want here and can forgot about he differences between races and also rankings. Emphasise their freedom a bit more and give us some more descripton of Seattle.
On to the nitpicks!
Where is the capital letter for that new sentence there?
I am so confused as to what you mean by who knew this town had so much to weigh? Do you mean to do, or to see, or to visit? Because to weigh doesn't make much sense to me ><
This is a question - you even end it with 'Cent asks', which means you need to have a question mark at the end there instead of the comma!
I don't have much more to say - the further this novel progresses and reaches the end, I feel like my reviews are getting shorter as there is less to find that needs improving. You have definitely also shortened the amount of nitpicks I can find, which is great. I can't wait to see what will happen in the next chapter. You almost left this one on a cliffhanger of sorts, and I can't believe Anyola would be the sort of person to be excited about this! I need to read more D: I intend to go and do just that!
Deanie x
Hi fellow writer.
I am here to review this chapter to get it out of the dreadful green room. I hope you don't mind me reviewing this chapter without reading previous chapters. I advice you to split this chapter into 2 parts. For example: Chapter 27 Part 1 and Part 2. This is because it is very very long to read and since I haven't even read your previous chapters, it is hard for me to read the entire chapter.
Also there are some grammar errors in this work. You need to correct them. The reviewer below me had given you major suggestions but it seems you haven't corrected them. It's quite good with the flow but the length is very big. I hope you take my suggestions into consideration and reduce the overall length of each chapter or at least post them separately, they are quite difficult to read. Keep writing though. Good Job!
Good Morning! I'm taking advantage of the two-hour delay to read and review this chapter for you!
For this chapter I felt like some of it was, I don't knows, a little cheesy feeling. I can't exactly place my finger on what makes it feel that way. Maybe it Cent and Isugoro being so boyish with their rough-housing and stuff that it makes it just a tad cheesy. I think maybe if you can just word things a little better or just do a little editing it will have a better feeling to it.
Also, I felt like the meeting with them and the two girls was a little unrealistic. I felt that it was strange how quickly they decided to hang out with the two guys because that wouldn't happen like that very often in real life. I'd suggest maybe having Isugoro and Cent go into the coffee shop by chance and meeting them there. To me, that would feel like a more realistic circumstance for them to kind of hook up.
But anyway, I thought the ending was great. Anyola's announcement of an execution was really unexpected, and there hasn't been anything like that previously in the story, so it's kind of exiting.
So, here are my nit picks for the day;
"'Well, as soon as you walked out, Jayna got a call from her boss.'"
If the two girls were intentionally skipping a business meeting, I find it hard to believe that Jayna would have picked up the phone when her boss called. I've been with plenty of people skipping work and they never risk answering the phone because they know what's going to happen.
"After a second, he gulps, and looks away, seeing the girl he had been with previously trying to beckon him back. He watches for a moment, then shakes his head. His dazed eyes meet mine, looking confused, 'Just get me out of here before I do something really stupid.'"
I feel that Cent came to his senses a tad too abruptly. I'd suggest just bringing him to his senses a hair slower.
Hopefully this review doesn't sound harsh because this is a good chapter. Keep writing!
-LittleFox