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LAPIS :Chapter 29:

Gelus is no longer what it was. Although most of the human soldiers seem basically unmoved by the events two days ago, I myself am a shell. Cent had to lead me out of the auditorium and to my room, stunned like I was, but not as affected. I guess it's due to the fact that I know Nathan and Syria personally. I 'knew' them personally.

Cent sat with me for awhile, watching me to make sure I wouldn't do anything stupid. I've been known to have outbursts when overwhelmed like this, but it's been some time since something this horrible happened to either of us. He doesn't want me to blow up like he did.

If I crumble, we'll both fall apart completely.

I don't recall what time he left, but it was later in the night. Once he had, I simply chose to turn off the lights and lay back, focusing my eyes on the blank ceiling above me. The thought of changing or even getting under the covers didn't cross my mind. My mind was stunted. The thought of sleep made my muscles tense and a sense of depression to sink to my core. So, I stayed awake and tried to fight off the poisonous nostalgia of the experience. Lying there, I hoped Cent was better than I was.

Neither he nor I wanted to have to go through something like this ever again.

When morning came, I was robotic in my actions. I changed out of my attire, washed my face, and headed out without thinking about anything. I walked to the Jeweloid sector, and was met with a silent, dead emptiness. There were people, but like me, they moved mechanically, the death of one of their own causing a dark shift in everyone. The sight of me caused emotion to spark in the eyes of the Jeweloids I pass, but every time, it was negative. They cursed me with their stares.

I tried my best to ignore them. I understand their anger, but at the same time, I feel hurt. I'm one of the people who defend Jeweloids, and in time, when Maggie returns, I'll be a Partner.

But even so, I'm a human.

A lump formed in my throat as the thought crossed my mind, and I paused slightly in my step. I never wanted to think anything like that. I came to the realization of Maggie's position long before now, but I never imagined turning such thoughts on myself.

After a moment of thought, I shook it off, not wanting to make myself even more upset. Thinking in such a way will just make things that much harder to contemplate. Distracted, I looked up to see I was back in front of Kasami's office. I stepped forward, but I felt held back somehow, pausing as I came to the door. Kasami was already upset yesterday about Nathan, and seeing me may make it worse for both of us.

Though, it was then I recognized a paper hanging on the door. I looked closer and realized it was addressed to me and a few others, maybe other subordinates I haven't had the chance to meet. It read that the Jeweloid Sector was shut down for the next three days, and that the others and I were free for the time being.

A nostalgic feeling spread through me as I took in the order. I immediately knew the reason for the shut down. Kasami knew that Nathan and Syria had been loved by the majority of the Jeweloid sector, so by doing this, he gave time to grieve. In a way, it's the Jeweloid Sector's version of a moment of silence.

Since I read the note, I've stayed in my room, thinking through the events and how it affects everything from now on. Now, being a day or two later, I've come to one concrete conclusion.

Gelus is much darker than it appears.

Suddenly, I hear a knock on my door, jolting me from my thoughts. The ceiling is the first thing I make out, still stale white and empty. I look around, surprised to see it's already midday from the view outside. I sigh, and rub my temple.

Again, a knock beats my door, a bit more agitated than the previous. I feel my muscles tense up, though I amazingly manage to get up and walk over to answer the door. To my surprise, I am met with the faces of some of the highest ranking officials of Gelus. Automatically, my arm rises, putting my hand to my temple to salute them. They salute back, and each of us lower our arms.

"Sir," I say, looking to all the men.

There are a total of four, each having his own characteristics that make him intimidating. The first, one of two colonels, is lean and tall, his cheekbones protruding from his face. The next is a brigadier general, a little shorter than myself, though a bit larger around the middle with much more skin than hair showing on his head. The second colonel is much shorter, stouter with very unkempt bushy eyebrows that seem fixed leveled and unemotional. Then there is the first lieutenant. Being the lowest ranked of the four, he holds the others' things and papers. He's a few years older than I am, about my height with black eyes.

The brigadier general speaks, "We are in need of your assistance, Officer Jintez."

"With what, Sir?" I ask.

The four look amongst each other, then the stout colonel grins. "I suppose disposing of waste is one way to say it," he says.

His words cause my stomach to begin to twist as I watch his face. Without any other clues, I can tell this has to do with Nathan and Syria's execution.

My expression must be less lively than before, because the brigadier general slightly nudges the colonel, signaling him to quiet himself. The lanky colonel clears his throat, proceeding, "You are the only human subordinate of GOLD's that knows the back route to the Detention Sector. We need you to help some guards get there."

"But why me, Sir? Wouldn't it be easier if someone from the Human Section did it?-" I reply.

"Because the route goes through the Jeweloid Sector," the first lieutenant interrupts, looking just as displeased as I feel, "If we were to send someone through there, the Jeweloids would get suspicious of us. Whereas, if we sent them with you, they wouldn't notice because you are on the inside."

"Why would they be suspicious?" I question.

The four look at each other, before the lanky colonel leans over to whisper in my ear, "We are transporting the body of Syria Hurrans and the remains of COBALT."

My eyes widen in shock. Suddenly, the first lieutenant groans, "We shouldn't be asking this man for help."

The other three look at him in surprise. "Why not?" says the brigadier general.

"It states clearly in his files that he is the only human member of the Jeweloid Sector that was detained in the Detention Sector," he explains.

"But that was hardly a criminal offense-" the lanky colonel starts.

"He was imprisoned in the same cell as COBALT!" the first lieutenant snaps, "It was even recorded that they acted friendly with one another. Why would we send him to take care of that tyrant's ashes?"

I feel my heart stop for a moment. "Ashes?" I repeat. All four look back at me, and I continue on, "What do you mean ashes?"

"He was cremated after the execution," replied the brigadier general, "Unlike Hurrans, who has family that requested her body returned, COBALT was basically a john doe, so we are going to dispose of his remains outside of Gelus."

I'm speechless.

"We should choose another man-" the first lieutenant starts.

"Enough boy!" the brigadier general shouts. Immediately, the first lieutenant shrinks back, intimidated the the brigadier general's dangerous tone. Even I feel a lump form in my throat as I watch the exchange. He glares him down as he continues to speak coldly, "The Commander issued this order, and said himself that Jintez was no threat. He is a human soldier. He is one of us."

His words cause my stomach to twist completely into a knot. Even though technically speaking, he's correct, the way he's referring to me makes me feel dirty. They turn their attention back to me now. Realizing I won't say anything more, the stout colonel speaks, "You probably weren't aware of it, but the elevator that goes down to the Detention Sector has one other stop; the elevated air bay."

"It's a small bay used only for emergencies, though we need it now so to stay inconspicuous," the brigadier general says, "Normally, we'd just use the Transportation Center, but we don't want to cause any more drama, so we'll ship Hurrans body and dispose of COBALT there."

Still in a bit of shock from what they did to Nathan, I don't speak, but I nod.

With that, the lanky colonel pats me on the shoulder, "Good, be at the entrance of the Jeweloid Sector at 18:00. The guards will meet you there."

It's only a few more moments before they vanish down the hall, leaving me overwhelmed and stunned.

The first lieutenant is right, I am not the right person for this job. Having to walk beside a box Syria's body is in and some container Nathan's remains are in is hard enough just to imagine, but they want me to do it with little to no emotional reaction at all. And they know that I had known the two of them on top of it!

It's as if the Commander is trying to punish me indirectly for ever being around them.

So I don't freak out, I decide to take the few hours I have to train alone down at Marcus' training area. I take the bare minimum of a darker change of clothes, and head down to the room. As I suspected, it's deserted, but luckily, as he always does, Marcus left his room unlocked. I flip on the lights and am caught by surprise to see Marcus sitting by one of the windows, staring out at the rocky world beyond Gelus. His expression reminds me of Maggie's when she saw outside for the first time, but much more saddened.

He turns slowly, looking at me as if he was expecting me to eventually show up. His face isn't as hard as it normally is, the countenance revealing that he's been thinking for some time.

After a moment of silence, he sighs, his shoulders falling as he turns back towards the window. "It's a screwed up world, ain't it?" he says, "To think, humans can think such things are just and right. Humans talk themselves into thinking that they're good, that they're doing what they do for the better of everyone involved, when in reality they do nothing but judge and alienate. They discriminate for dumb reasons, and enact violence when someone points out the problems with their mindset."

I don't reply, prompting him to continue, "I remember being human, being one of you. I was a fighter, came really close to being one of the top names in the MMA world. I had a beautiful fiancee, a big house, a nice car, and a career opening up for me. I was set . . . Then I made the awful choice to go diving while we were in Mexico. I simply swam away from the group for a few moments to get a closer look at this reef, and bam! I was waking up on a shore with a man standing over me asking me who I was, where I came from, if I recalled an accident . . . Never thought for a moment it was 900 years later, and that I was now this."

He chuckles, looking back at me. His eyes are more alive as he speaks, sparking. "I fought when I was human, yeah. I got into it with some people, even 'hated' some of 'em. But I never treated another person like you people do. I never punched a guy just to see how it felt. I didn't put a man below me until he proved himself to be," he says, standing, "COBALT was a bit of an asshole sometimes, everyone knew that, but he never did anything that made it right to filet him like a fish!"

I swallow hard, becoming a bit on edge as I see him beginning to shake; the first sign he'll attack. He laughs hard, his soft, composed face becoming a bit loose and crazed as he steps forward. "Hell, we kill fish more humanely than how they took him down. And they even took down that girl! She didn't do crap!" he continues, "What right do you humans have to treat us like beasts when the truth is you're the real animals!"

With that, he flashes, appearing before me. In his blind rage, he starts to throw a hook at me, but I'm able to easily dodge it. His emotions are driving his actions, not his mind, which makes him much more sloppy. I guess it's something we have in common.

"Marcus!" I shout, "I'm not your enemy here!"

"You're one of them-" he starts, reminding me of what the brigadier general said.

Something that I had hidden in my mind cracks, and in a short burst of mindlessness, I catch Marcus' arm as he tries to hit me again, and I throw him over my shoulder and into the nearby wall. My sudden advanced strength catches Marcus off-guard, his face blank as he makes impact, then grunts as he falls to the floor.

"I'm . . ." I trail. My fists are shaking, my head is fogged and my ears are buzzing. A sneer is fixed on my face, my blood boiling as I release all my rage on him. "I'M NOT ONE OF THEM, GOT IT?!" I shout, glaring at him, "I'M ON YOUR SIDE YOU BASTARD!"

I don't stay to see his response, I turn, take my things, and rush out. I move quickly to my room, relieving myself of what's left of my energy as I throw my fist into the wall with a loud yell. By coincidence, I hit the place on my wall where the Gelus insignia is printed, the middle crumbling as I pull back my hand. Upon inspection, I find it's bloody, but nothing too serious from what I can tell.

I pace back and forth, breathing hard as I calm myself.

It takes until the time I have to meet with the guards for me to grasp my mind. I walk up to the doors, looking over the inscriptions on the door that Sumpti had brought Cent and I to on our first day here at Gelus. The Latin phrase is still a mystery to me, but I'm not very interested at this point.

So much has happened since I last stood before this door. I met Maggie, fought in the Power Processor, went to Detention, trained, fought Noxcus, met so many new people, said goodbye to some . . . and now have lost others. These steel walls contain my memories and the memories of so many others . . . I hope the normal human soldiers don't have as many troubles.

Well, at least I still have my heart.

"Ah, Jintez."

I turn, met by the Brigadier General. I salute as I see his countenance turn pleased, though I soon turn my attention to the men behind him . . . and the large wooden crate they carry.

If I hadn't been told what the contents were, I myself may not of known what it was that was being transported. The box is large, but they did well to make it a bit larger in width and bulk, to camouflage it in a way.

The brigadier general salutes me in return and I lower my arm. "Alright, now, these men are instructed to follow you directly to the elevator. Once there, Second Lieutenant Kaino will take the lead," he explains, gesturing to a young man at the head of the crate. In return, the man nods to me, not looking particularly interested in what is happening as he messes with the bag that hangs from his shoulder.

I make eye contact with him for a split moment, but that's it in terms of communication between the two of us. Seeing this, the brigadier general clears his throat. "Alright then, lead the way Officer Jintez," he comments, "Myself and the others appreciate your help."

"You're welcome, Sir," I reply.

And that is that, the brigadier general nods, then leave us, prompting us to start forward through the sector. The large doors open just as they had the first day, but unlike before, I barely flinch. The men behind me though aren't as fortunate. Two of the men holding the crate fall to their knees, causing a loud thud. I jolt, surprised, but also angry, even though I'm well aware they can't control their reactions to the power shock. They're holding a human being, they should be a bit more careful.

The second lieutenant and the three other men fall slightly, though gain their bearings quickly in comparison to the others. I simply watch as they all eventually return to standing, each of them staring back at me in curiosity. When I assess they're all ready, I turn and begin into the Jeweloid Sector.

They follow close behind me, their footsteps echoing quietly as we walk across the higher walk ways. Occasionally, a Jeweloid passes us, but due to the previous events, none approach me, turning their heads the other way and keeping their eyes low to the path. The actions cause something deep within me to pang with guilt, though ironically I am also thankful for it at the same time. No one we walk by presses me with any questions of why I am leading human soldier through the Sector, or what is inside the crate they carry.

It's easier to escape my own opinions by staying silent.

Unfortunately, I do eventually meet one set of eyes I had hoped to evade. As we walk around one of the final corners that leads into the back hall, I come in eye contact with Sammy. She appears to be escorting the RUBY girl somewhere, as the child holds tight to her right arm. Upon realizing that it's me, her eyes shift from surprise to concern, obviously sensing my state of mind as I continue by her. Though, to my combined shock and appreciation, she quickly distracts RUBY, pulling her away and speaking about something I can't make out. If RUBY had connected the dots, she probably would make a horrible scene, so it's better for her not to know that what just past her is what's left of whom she called her older brother and sister.

The pang rings clearer and deeper in my soul, regret building with each step I take. But I can't turn back. I can't leave the soldiers and look for RUBY. I can't give her my condolences and try to reassure her.

Right now I am a human.

Finally, we make our way into the hall, and we reach the elevator. Upon approach, Second Lieutenant Kaino walks past me and swipes a card he'd been given in the security lock, allowing the elevator to open. No longer in charge, I simply follow the others as well all board the elevator. Kaino once again swipes the card on a inside panel, and to my surprise, another button is revealed behind a panel. He presses it, and in response the door closes swiftly. It's not too long before it opens again, though before me instead of the entrance to the Detention Sector is a large open space with a few crafts sitting in preparation for take off. The space isn't entirely walled off, the opposite side open to the outside world, allowing the summer breeze to blow through and the crisp scent of pine to waft about from the rugged scenery surrounding Gelus.

Under different circumstances, I'd dare say the view was peaceful, but my demeanor is shadowed by the intention I was brought here. As soon as we each exit the elevator, the men set the crate down, and start to open it, revealing a simple, but expensive looking black casket with small metal lock panel on the side. I can't help my eyes widening at the sight, grabbing Kaino's attention.

"Her family had it sent here once they got word of her death," he explains, "They refused to let her be transported in a box."

"I see," I answer, touched in a way. Even though to the base, Syria was a criminal, her family still wanted her to be treated with respect. I commend the gesture.

Though, Kaino seems to feel differently, chuckling, "They're idiots."

A jolt of anger passes through me, but I struggle to somehow control myself. I can't allow myself to snap again. I simply clench my fists tight, hiding them slightly behind my back so no one can see my knuckles turning white.

After a few minutes of standing idle, the men start to move, and I'm caught off guard as Kaino tosses me the bag he'd been wearing. I blink, then meet his stare. "Why are you giving me this?" I ask.

"Inside that is a bag holding the ashes of COBALT," he answers, causing my body to go slightly numb, "I would like you to take care of them."

"Take care of them?" I repeat.

"Throw them out," he says, "You can toss it over the edge for all I care."

My eyes widen in alarm. Before he can see my reaction, he walks off with the rest of the group, one of the men saying they'd been called from above about their orders. I stand alone, and wrestling with my inner fury. I can't stop my expression from morphing into a disgusted snear, my shoulders shaking. Though, in juxtaposition, I hold the bag tenderly, respectful not to injure the contents any further than what those fools had.

It takes me a minute to be able to even move my arm up to unzip the bag, revealing a clear plastic bag filled with grey and black ashes. My brow furrows as I look down at it, as the sight sparks an intense nauseous feeling in my stomach. My mind feels like puddy that's been kneaded to the extreme, and slowly I feel a slight sweat on the back of my neck. I close my eyes as I start to feel the swelling of emotions, trying to concentrate on something entirely different that'll ease my mind.

Strangely, the first thing I see cross my mind is Maggie, which just jolts me back to reality. My eyes pop open and I breathe a short breath, though to my luck no one has yet returned.

My eyes are fixed on the ground as I ponder, unsure how to react to seeing her face. A question bubbles to the surface of my thoughts.

If that ever happens to her . . . would I save her? Would I risk my own life to defend her?

Uncertainty consumes my heart. I haven't thought of Maggie since before the execution, and now that I am, I feel off balance. Surely, Maggie wouldn't be killed, she's a Class Zero, she's important to Gelus. 

My fist tightens.

But what if they did turn their guns on her? What if she decided to go rouge, to defy the Commander . . . 

My heart fastens.

What if she fell in love with me?

I can hardly believe myself as the thought passes through my mind. I can sense my cheeks reddening, perplexing me far more than I wish. 

M-Maggie, falling in love with me? That's ridiculous! She would never do that!-

. . . no one said I couldn't have an imaginary romance . . . 

My thinking process stops dead in its tracks as I hear Maggie's voice flow through my head. I've never heard her speak those words, yet they're crisp and clear as if she said it directly to me. A lump forms in my throat, and unknown emotions begin to well up in me. I squeeze my eyes shut again. 

I can't think about this! It won't happen! It can't happen!

I open my eyes once more as I state the truth to myself.

"She doesn't love me, and never will . . ." I trail. 

For some reason, I can't say the second part out loud, but I speak it clear in my mind, as if to put any inner disagreement to rest.

I don't love her.

With that, I sigh, my breath taken by the breeze. My bangs shift slightly about my eyes, and my high collar brushes against my neck, reminding me that I can feel. I'm still alive, even though my essence is encased in the meaningless blackness of death. I look back down at the ashes, and see Nathan's face in my mind's eye.

"Nathan . . . " I trail, "You really were a brave person, even in the end."

Only the breeze responds to my whisper, and instinctively, I look over at the black casket. "You both were brave. You stuck to what you believed in," I continue, "Syria, you even had the chance to live . . . but you wouldn't do it. You wouldn't abandon Nathan to save yourself."

I take a silent step forward, and place my free hand on the smooth surface. A bittersweet grin fixes itself on my face. "I'm proud of you for that, and I think your family would be too if they knew the entire story."

It's now I notice something. The lock on the coffin, which should've already been closed for transportation, is undone. The simple mistake brings an idiotic idea to my mind, one that could probably get me reprimanded harshly if I was caught.

But I don't care.

Slowly, I look around, finding that no one is nearby, and that the cameras are currently angled away from me. My heart starts to race as I make the realization, prompting me to turn back and open the casket. I stop suddenly as I lay my eyes on Syria.

Her skin has paled quite a bit, a grayer version of my complexion than her normally warm tan. Her hair has been placed in a way that you can't see the bullet wound in the side of her head, her fatal injury. Unhealed scraps and cuts mark her arms which lay crossed over her stomach, and a small gash is on her left shoulder. Though, what has me most stunned is the vibrant sapphire blue dress she wears, strapless and flowing from below her breast. I can't imagine that this is what the soldiers had originally planned to dress her in, so I suppose it was her family that ordered her to be laid in it. I grin, knowing that the blue is similar to the shade of Nathan's hair and energy.

I don't look at her face for some reason, probably because all the emotions in me would burst if I did before finishing my task. As quick, and careful, as I can, I remove the bag of Nathan's ashes from the other bag, and place them on Syria's stomach. Then, gently, I take her folded hands, and despite my shock from how cold she now is, pull them up and place them on top so she is holding them.

My heart is racing as I look at what I've done, then using what courage I can muster, I glance up at her face. To my shock, she actually looks . . . content. Her eyes are closed, and her countenance is relaxed. Her lips, paled by death, are even turned up a bit, making her appear even more at peace. I feel a lump in my throat, and a small smile forms on my face.

"You look happy . . ." I whisper, "Did you know I'd do this somehow?"

She doesn't move, and I chuckle, leaning over the casket as I ignore my inhibitions. I press a kiss gently to her forehead, and whisper to her, "Take good care of him, Syria."

With that, I raise myself, and take hold of the lid, closing the casket. So no one can disturb them anymore, I quickly lock it, and a short card is released under the panel. The key. I snatch it and put it in my jacket. "I apologize to your family, Syria. I'm being a bit selfish right now," I say as I lean over to pick up the bag, "But I can't allow them to separate you two anymore."

I walk away as the breeze picks up a bit, coming right to the edge of the bay. The far off green pines sway in the wind, the bright sun beaming down on the world in between the great clumps of rolling clouds, causing a patching effect on the peaks and the cliffs. I can see the river nearby, crystal clear and shinning. The breeze beats harder against me, as if to signal me. I lift the bag from my side, and without another thought, release it over the edge, allowing it to blow away to the wilderness below.

"Ah, good, you got rid of him."

I turn, and find Kaino returning just in time to see me let go of the bag. The other men have already moved to the casket, and are carefully moving it towards one of the crafts.

I salute him, "Yes, Sir."

He grins, "It's good to know you're one of the great soldiers of Gelus, Jintez. You may go."

He salutes me back, then lowers his arm, allowing me to leave. I step on the elevator without looking back, and let the door close on my secret betrayal.

If anyone ever finds out that I placed Nathan's remains with Syria, I'll probably be issued with treason. They were criminals, they were called my enemies.

They were innocently in love. I have no right to take them from each other.

I stick to the belief as I walk off of the elevator, my footsteps the only companion I have as I walk down the hall.

But when I enter the main area of the Jeweloid Sector, I'm baffled by the sight of Jeweloids congregated below on the base level. I'm not sure how many there are, but from the sight, it's almost as if they entire body of the Jeweloid Sector have come together for some reason, colors of all kinds blanketing my eyes. Among them, I can even make out humans, Partners. Then, someone looks up at me, and gasps, leading to the others slowly turning their gaze on me. Even the Partners look up, looking at me with some strange look of awe. I stop in my tracks, frozen by the all the eyes watching me. I gulp, unsure of what to think.

"Goro."

I jump, turning to see Sammy standing close, her brow furrowed as if she's sad.

"S-Sammy, what is it-" I start.

"I can't believe you did something so reckless," she interrupts, tears forming on the rims of her eyes.

My eyes widen. "What do you mean?" I ask, my heart beginning to race again.

"She followed you."

RUBY appears behind Sammy, stopping at her side as she continues to speak, "After she led me away, she followed you down to the bay, and watched you place COBALT's ashes in Syria's casket."

All the color drains from my face. "H-How did she follow-" I begin.

"I still have a key card to the Detention Sector from when I led you down," Sammy explains, "I simply used it, and opened the emergency escape hatch once I got inside the cabin. Then, I hopped to the top of the elevator and jumped off once it got to the ledge leading to the bay. Once there, I just stood there until the elevator came back up to get you."

"But, you wouldn't of seen me-" I start.

"That's where my Ability of Mind comes in," RUBY says, "I have two specialties; X-ray and infiltration. By using both, I was able to see what you were doing through Sammy's eyes."

"And I could see as well, since she was using my mind," Sammy adds.

I feel my body becoming heavy and my mind beginning to fuzz. It wasn't even five minutes, and I've already been caught. I look down at the ground.

"We aren't going to turn you in, Isugoro."

I jerk my head back up, met by Savannah's eyes. They're warm.

"In fact, Isugoro Jintez, I believe you just gained the respect of every Jeweloid in the Jeweloid Sector," she says with her usual confident smile.

My heart stops for a moment as her words are translated in my mind. "What?" I breathe in shock.

"RUBY transmitted what she saw to everyone," Sammy comments, gesturing to the Jeweloids below, "They all know."

I turn my gaze below, and after a moment of silence, I see Jeweloids raising their arms up. One by one, they each do the same, and before I realize it, they're all saluting me. The Partners follow suit, raising their hands to their temples even though there's a pretty good chance some of them outrank me. I only break my gaze as I see Savannah do the same out of the corner of my eye, then RUBY . . . then Sammy. I look at her with wide eyes, and as tears fall down her cheeks, she smiles wide.

"Thank you . . ." she mouths.

I'm speechless. I can hardly compute what is happening, my mind is still, and my heart is racing so fast I can't even feel it beating in my tight chest. A feeling of overwhelming disbelief has taken hold of me. Slowly, I turn back to the Jeweloids below, looking at almost all of them as I take in the sight.

Then, I do only what I know how, and I raise my right hand to my temple, saluting them back. I see grins forming on the faces of those below, warmth returning to their previously clouded and blank expressions. The Partners look content, as if they're trying to relay acceptance. I see trust in their eyes.

I see humanity.

As I lower my arm, I feel the weight that had placed itself on my shoulders melt away, and I sense Nathan's presence beside me, as if he was the mastermind behind this. His words run through my mind, and my lips form a smile.

The dragon's fire has sparked to life.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Wed Feb 18, 2015 6:44 pm

Hey Serene!

For once I am all caught up DD: You don't know how happy this makes me. Yesss! *jumps up and down excitedly*

As for this review, it is probably going to be the shortest yet. Basically because this was pretty much the best chapter you have written yet, without a doubt. First of all you dealt with the emotions and idea of grief incredibly well. I could relate and understand as to why Isugoro felt like he did. Then putting that aside you let us see the grief through all of the Jeweloids eyes with the way they had days off, and then through Marcus's in particular. Which was done perfectly and showed everything you intended it to. Honestly, what an amazing chapter. Putting it behind I loved the theme running through this as Isugoro is trying to find out if he is a human and part of their side simply because of his race, or if he is part of the Jeweloid's side because that is the one he believes in. It was an internal struggle and though internal chapters like this can get boring at times, this wasn't that. And lastly, it shocks me how cruel humans can be. And although this is fiction I know some of that cruelty runs into how humans have acted in the past and still do in the current day. Perfectly written. If I could like this a hundred times over I would. I wonder what the final chapter will be because this could've been if from what I read :P

I've been known to have outbursts when overwhelmed like this


Really? We haven't seen Isugoro have many outbursts in the past. Maybe as he says this he could think back to some of those times he has had them if he has had one in this story so far. Or if this isn't something that you want to do maybe it would be a good idea for you to put more cases where he explodes into previous chapters so the reader has examples of their own to draw from. It would be a piece advice for past chapters.

When the soldiers come to his room you use one paragraph to describe what they all look like. I kind of skimmed over it because it was pretty much a boring list that didn't mean anything to me. What you should do is describe their expressions in general. Then when one of them speaks, take the time to describe their appearance then, at that moment. That way we only get descriptions of the characters that matter, and seeing as we will know them because they have spoken, the descriptions will actually mean something to the reader. It spaces out the descriptions more so it is no longer a list and it is more interesting that way :3

Tiny nitpick!

But, you wouldn't of seen me


The 'of' should be a 'have' instead.

Okay, I did say this would be a short review? That's it! Let me know on my wall whenever you post more. This novel ending has me excited ^^

Deanie x

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LittleFox
Review

Yes finally! I'm glad you posted this; I really loved this chapter a lot. I've always enjoyed the transition from grief to this sort of happy-sad thing at the end. Of course, I do have a couple nitpicks....

"I guess it's due to the fact that I know Nathan and Syria personally. I 'knew' them personally." Here, if you are wanting to put emphasis on the word 'knew,' you should use italics rather than quotes. Sorry, I know I've said I won't critique on grammar but sometimes I just gotta :P

Another thing; I feel like the fact that the general and those others keep calling Nathan Cobalt is a bit too respectful for them, you know what I mean? I feel like since most of the humans don't have that much respect for them, especially when they consider Nathan a traitor, and that they would call him 'the Jeweloid," or something of that sort.

Anyway, this chapter was wonderfully written and well thought out! Keep them coming :)

-LittleFox

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ChimeraMania
Comment

Oh my gosh I had tears in my eyes at the end. This chapter, close to the end is just so beautiful. I'm glad you finished it, well this chapter anyway. I simply cannot review this masterpiece because I saw no mistakes. I agree with @alevine, you took your time and poured your heart into this. I can tell it took a lot of time and dedication to finish this chapter. The wonderful chapter that sent me in tears and shock the second time. Well actually I think this the first and only unfinished/unpublished book/novel that has sent me into shock, and I can tell you that I've read over 150 unpublished books on wattpad but none oh them has shocked me to the point of crying slightly. I've read every single chapter and I'm still hocked on it.
I'm not going to but this under review, because it's not one, it's appreciation for your wonderful writing and outstanding mind. I rather it be out of the green room, though, but I'll save the review spot for someone who may (and hopefully won't) find a mistake or something wrong. In my opinion this work is so beautiful it doesn't need to be reviewed for its mistakes but on how wonderfully written and lovely it is.

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alevine
Review
alevine wrote a review · Sun Feb 15, 2015 8:16 am

Wow is all I can say after reading this one. I have not read your other chapters, but found this one to be quite a ride. I mean, look, every writer enjoys putting words together on a page at some point or another. But when I was reading your work, I really felt like every word was truly coming from the heart. And that's what makes good literature. Writing from the heart!!! You took me on an imaginative roller coaster, and that alone impresses me. But you also did it with such finesse. Awesome job!!

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
I hope you read the previous chapters, I'd love to know what you think.
~Maddie



The first thing I do when I have a good quote is always to put a goat in it. uwu
— Liminality