Hey, Runawaylove here to review your poem!
First off, the simple rhyme scheme and short length of the poem drew me. I really love the fact that you rhyme. Many people do not like it but I always try to rhyme in my poems.
Now, I think you should experiment with your rhyme scheme and increase the length of your poem. The theme of this poem is 'Thoughts' and it is a theme that you can write a lot about. So writing more would not hurt. And the rhyme scheme. the rhyme couplet make the poem seem more simple. It is not a bad thing but on the other side not a good thing either. You could use better words.
"Thoughts are things that go on and on your head,"
This line is confusing. There should be something before the words 'your head'.
I liked the little hint of biology that you used. Other than that this was a good read. Hope this was hlpful. Keep writing!
Points: 881
Reviews: 45
Donate